How to Keep Yourself from Getting Scared While Home Alone

Co-authored by Saul Jaeger, MS

Many people find the prospect of being home alone scary. You may get nervous by strange sounds or noises when you're hanging out at home without others. Fortunately, there are some easy tricks you can use to stay calm at home even when no one else is around.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Staying Busy When Home Alone

1
Distract yourself with fun activities. If you're nervous about being home alone, the best way to stay busy is to find something to do. Instead of seeing being home alone as a burden, see it has a chance to have the full run of the house. Do something that you enjoy without worrying about annoying others.^{[1]
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- Think about all the entertainment devices you can now use. You can watch whatever you want on TV or play any games you want on the computer.
- If you usually can't play music too loud, now is your chance to blast the music as loud as you want.
- Think about any solitary activities you enjoy. Maybe your house is usually a little too noisy for you to, say, read a book. You could take advantage of the peace and quiet of an empty home and get some reading done.
2
Call a friend or family member. If you're feeling nervous, call someone. You will feel less alone if you're able to talk to a family member or friend. Have someone in mind to call in the event you get scared home alone.
- You may want to let someone know ahead of time you may need to call if you get scared. That way, that person will be expecting your call.
- Try calling someone you haven't talked to in a while. If it's been a few weeks since you've talked to your grandmother; now may be a good time to catch up.
- If you don't like talking to someone on the phone, you can also talk to someone online. A video chat through a service like Skype can really make you feel less alone.
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3
Be productive. If there are any chores you need to get done, focusing your energy there can distract you from being home alone. Think about anything you've been putting off. Instead of focusing on the anxiety of being home alone, channel your energy towards a specific task.^{[2]
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- If you're behind on any homework assignments or work try getting some work done. A quiet house may help you concentrate better.
- You could also do some chores. If there are dirty dishes in the sink, washing them may actually be calming.
4
Do some exercise. Exercise can keep your mind occupied. It can also reduce stress. Try to get your heart pumping a little if being home alone makes you nervous.^{[3]
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- If you have any at-home gym equipment, like a treadmill, you could use this. You could also do something like push-ups, sit-ups, or running up and down the stairs.
- If you feel short of breath, take a break. You don't want to overexert yourself, especially when you're home alone.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Calming Down If Something Scares You

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Acknowledge your mind is playing tricks on you. It's easy to let your thoughts spin out of control when you're anxious. If you, say, hear a strange noise, your mind may jump to the worst case scenario. Remember, your mind tends to play tricks on you when you're anxious. Try to be aware of what you're thinking, and take control of troublesome thoughts.^{[4]
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- Your brain can make you believe a lot of irrational things when you're anxious. Most of them are not true. When you start to get nervous, think to yourself, "This is just my brain playing a trick on me."
- Many people get nervous over strange sounds when home alone. When you hear a strange noise, look for logical explanations instead of assuming there's an intruder in the house. For example, think something like, "I think that is an intruder, but that's my anxiety talking. I know I locked the doors. The cat probably knocked something over upstairs."^{[5]
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2
Question nervous thoughts. You should question any thoughts you have that don't seem rational when you're home alone. When you start to get scared over a particular scenario, stop and ask yourself something like, "Honestly, what is the worst thing that can happen here?"^{[6]
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- For example, you may get more nervous as it gets dark out. You may think something like, "I'm so scared that I'm going to have a heart attack."
- Stop and question this. Ask yourself something like, "Am I really going to have a heart attack? What is the worst thing that could actually happen?"
- In reality, you know you won't have a heart attack just from being nervous. Say something to yourself like, "The worst thing that can happen is that I'll feel scared for a few hours. Feeling scared sucks, but it won't actually hurt me."
3
Practice deep breathing.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Saul Jaeger, MS
Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department
Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.} Simply breathing can help release tension and ground you in reality. If you start to get nervous home alone, do some simple deep breathing exercises to calm down and return your mind to the present.^{[8]
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- Inhale through your nose. Make sure to direct your breath in such a way that your diaphragm rises while your chest remains relatively still. Hold the breath for a count of four.
- Exhale through your mouth. Try to spend seven seconds exhaling.
- Repeat deep breathing a few times. You should feel significantly calmer.
4
Visualize a calming scenario. Your imagination can really run wild when you're upset. Instead of letting your imagination scare you, redirect it. Envision a calming scenario when your thoughts start to spiral towards anxiety.^{[9]
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- When you start to feel nervous, go on a mental vacation. Imagine yourself somewhere relaxing where you can unwind.
- For example, picture yourself lying on a beach somewhere. Engage with all your senses. What does this scene look like, feel like, taste like? Close your eyes and imagine until you being to feel calm.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Helping Yourself Feel Safe

1
Let a neighbor know you'll be home alone. You will feel more at ease at home if you let someone know you're alone. This way, you will feel like you have someone to turn to in the event of an emergency.
- You can let your neighbors know yourself you'll be home alone. Ask them politely if you can let them know if you need anything.
- You can also have your parents let the neighbors know you'll be home alone.
2
Lock the doors and windows.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Saul Jaeger, MS
Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department
Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.} If you feel secure and safe, you're more likely to feel relaxed at home alone. After you're left alone, go through and make sure all the doors and windows are locked. You will worry less about intruders if you know you're safely locked into your home.^{[11]
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3
Learn the numbers for emergency services.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Saul Jaeger, MS
Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department
Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.} If you feel prepared, you will feel less scared. Make sure you have all the numbers on hand in the event of an emergency. In many areas, you will simply dial 9-1-1. However, in your area you may need to call a local police station or fire station or the emergency services number where you live.^{[13]
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4
Make a plan for emergencies. Having a plan can help you feel safe. While an emergency is unlikely, talk to your parents or other members of your household about a game plan in the event something goes wrong.
- Know who to call if anyone breaks in and having a hiding spot ready in your home. If it would make you feel better, you can have safety drills with your family in which you practice how to act during an emergency.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I feel safe when I'm home alone?

Saul Jaeger, MS
Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department
Saul Jaeger is a Police Officer and Captain of the Mountain View, California Police Department (MVPD). Saul has over 17 years of experience as a patrol officer, field training officer, traffic officer, detective, hostage negotiator, and as the traffic unit’s sergeant and Public Information Officer for the MVPD. At the MVPD, in addition to commanding the Field Operations Division, Saul has also led the Communications Center (dispatch) and the Crisis Negotiation Team. He earned an MS in Emergency Services Management from the California State University, Long Beach in 2008 and a BS in Administration of Justice from the University of Phoenix in 2006. He also earned a Corporate Innovation LEAD Certificate from the Stanford University Graduate School of Business in 2018.

Saul Jaeger, MS

Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department

Expert Answer

Make sure that you lock your doors and windows. If someone does knock on the door, know that you don't have to answer the door or let them in.