This article was co-authored by Hilya Tehrani, PsyD. Dr. Hilya Tehrani is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over twenty years of experience. She specializes in working with children and adolescents. Dr. Tehrani also has expertise in supporting individuals with autism, ADHD, anxiety, behavioral challenges, and learning and processing differences. She holds a BA in Psychology from The University of California, Los Angeles, an MA in Clinical Psychology from California State University, Northridge, and a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Lying to your parents and hiding things to avoid getting in trouble is never a mature or responsible way to act. But when it comes to bad grades, bad report cards, and poor academic performance, sometimes kids think that hiding the truth is the easiest way to address the problem. Maybe they know they can do better and are really ashamed, or maybe the bad grade is because they were sick, or maybe their parents are extremely strict and will overreact to a single bad grade. There are sometimes ways you can hide a bad grade or report card from your parents, but you should be aware that this isn't an appropriate course of action, that dishonesty is bad, and if you get caught, the consequences will be much worse than if you just came clean.
Steps
Hiding a Bad Report Card
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1Leave the report card at school. A simple way to prevent your parents from finding out about a bad grade or report card is to simply leave it at school. You can leave it in your locker if you have one or in your desk. If you have a job, you can leave the incriminating evidence at work.[1]
- If it’s a specific test score or project mark that you're trying to hide, don’t bring the graded document home.
- If you have an upcoming test or project that you're worried about, avoid telling your parents about it beforehand. Otherwise, they will expect you to tell them about how you did once you get your grade back.
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2Hide the report card in your room or house somewhere. If you do bring home your bad report card or a bad grade, don’t leave it lying around where your parents will find it. Hide it somewhere, such as a closet, in a book, in a drawer, or in a secret hiding spot.[2]Advertisement
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3Destroy the report card. You can also go so far as destroying the physical evidence of your bad report if you don’t think hiding it at school or in your home is good enough. You can get rid of the evidence by:[3]
- Cutting it up
- Throwing it into a fire
- Shredding it
- Burying it
- Soaking it in water
- Throwing it into the recycling or garbage right before collection
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4Intercept the mail. Some schools mail out grades and report cards instead of sending them home directly with students, and if this is the case with your school, you will have to watch the mail like a hawk so that you can intercept the report card before anyone else sees it.[4]
- Check the mail every day so that you can grab the report card from the box before your parents do. Make sure to take in all the mail every day.
- To avoid suspicion, begin checking the mail a couple weeks before you're expecting the report card, and continue checking daily for a couple weeks after the grade has arrived.
Taking Extreme Measures
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1Delete email notifications. Some schools go to great lengths to keep parents involved in the progress of their children, and if your school does this, you may need to go to equally great lengths to prevent your parents from finding out about a bad grade. However, you should note that these extreme measures take dishonesty to a whole new level, and you are seriously betraying your parents’ trust by attempting to hide your mistakes in this way.
- If your school sends report cards or grades to parents via email, you will need your parents’ email addresses and passwords so that you can login to their accounts to intercept and delete the email before they have a chance to see it.[5]
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2Sign on behalf of your parents. Parents are sometimes required to sign and send back report cards, and this is meant to ensure that the parents are aware of how their children are doing in school. For a school that does require a parental signature on a report card, you can't just hide the report card from them and hope they don’t find out.
- Forging the signature of a parent without their consent is often considered fraud and is usually illegal.[6] You can also try signing your own name in a creative way and hope that your teachers don’t catch on.
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3Change and print grades that are available online. Another perk of modern technology is that parents are often now able to access their children’s grades via online portals.[7] While you can't prevent your parents from logging in and seeing your grades, you can try to stop them:
- Log on to the portal. Copy the format of your grades into an editing program.
- Manually alter the grades and print off the changed report. Show it to your parents.
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4Intercept phone calls. Some schools may call to notify you that report cards are coming out. Start offering to answer the phone a few days before report cards are due. After the call is made, delete it.
- Keep in mind that it may not be practical to always be available for the phone. If you are not sure when the call will come, your best bet is to block the school's number.
Coming Clean to Your Parents
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1Decide to tell the truth. They say honesty is the best policy, and while taking responsibility for your actions can be tough and may lead to consequences, telling your parents the truth will also make you feel better.[8]
- Lying to people you love can make you feel guilty, isolated, and it can destroy the trust you and your parents share.[9]
- If you are feeling bad about covering up your grade, consider telling your parents the truth.
- If you’ve got a bad grade and haven't yet hidden it from your parents, you may be worrying more than you need to, and your parents may not be as mad as you think! Telling them the truth may be scary, but it’s better than lying and then feeling guilty.[10]
- Talk back to your negative and anxious self-talk so you feel less nervous about the upcoming conversation. Instead of thinking catastrophic thoughts like "I'm a failure" or "I'm never going to pass this class," think something like "I've learned from my mistakes and I know what to do differently next time."
- It'll be easier to talk to your parents when you're in a kinder and gentler headspace.
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2Prepare what you're going to say. Once you’ve made the decision to come clean or tell your parents about your report card, it can help to think about what you want to say in advance. Before sitting down with your parents, take some time to think about:
- The kinds of questions your parents will ask you so that you can be prepared with some good answers.
- Why you did what you did or why you got the grade you did so that you can explain yourself clearly.
- How you feel about what you’ve done and how your parents might react.
- Remember—your parents want you to feel good about yourself, and that comes with a much more important goal for them than any single bad grade.
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3Pick a time to tell your parents. You can do this one of two ways: you can either schedule a meeting at which to discuss what you want to say, or you can approach your parents unannounced.
- If you schedule a family meeting, make sure you set the date soon so everything is still fresh in your mind.
- If you’d rather approach your parents, pick a time when they aren't busy or stressed out, or they may not give you their full attention, and may not react calmly.
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4Talk to your parents openly and honestly. Open the dialogue by telling them that you have something to say, and that you'd appreciate if they'd tried to stay calm. Explain to them that what you're going to say is difficult, and that you're worried about disappointing them. This will tell your parents that you're acting in a mature way, and that you feel bad.
- Tell them you got your report card and that you weren't happy with the mark. If you tried to hide the report card first, tell them that you’ve known for a while and didn’t tell them right away, and that you know it was wrong.
- Let them ask questions, and answer them honestly.
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5Be ready for consequences. Even if you tell your parents about a bad grade right away, there may still be consequences for your academic performance, depending on your parents’ expectations. It may be hard, but remember you're doing the right thing by telling the truth, and that your parents are only doing what they think is best for you.
- If you did hide the truth from your parents in the beginning, be ready for larger consequences. Your parents may not even care about the grade, but they will care that you lied to them.[11] But remember if you do get punished, you're being punished for the lie you told, not for telling the truth about it.
- If you hid a bad grade and haven't told your parents, be prepared for them to find out, and be ready for even larger consequences. Your parents could find out from a friend, colleague, teacher, or someone else, and they will be very displeased when they find out that you’ve lied to them and didn’t come clean.[12]
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6Make an effort to get better grades. Tell your parents, and make a promise to yourself, to try harder at school. Your education is extremely important, and could help set the course for the rest of your life. Getting good grades could create opportunities for you that you wouldn’t otherwise get. Not only that, but you can also avoid these awkward conversations with your parents by getting better grades![13]
- You might say, "I didn't do well on this test, but I learned from it. I know that it's not the end of the world, and there's lots of other opportunities for me to do well in school."
Warnings
- Hiding the truth will have a very negative impact on your parent's trust.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Even if you do tell the truth, you will still be in trouble, but you won't have very bad consequences.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/family/kids/you_said_it_bad_grades.html
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QOgXs1BCHo
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM3_VDP0PQw
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM3_VDP0PQw
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_09nA4aKDjc
- ↑ http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/penalty-for-forgery.cfm
- ↑ http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2005-11-20/news/0511200327_1_grade-book-parent-s-desire-glenbrook-high-school-district
- ↑ http://articles.latimes.com/2014/jan/25/science/la-sci-sn-lying-credibility-conscience-20140124
- ↑ http://greatist.com/grow/truth-about-lying
About This Article
Although hiding the truth from your parents isn't a good permanent solution, there are a few ways you can hide your bad grade or report card temporarily. One option is to just leave your report card or graded work at school or throw it away. If your parents ask about it later on, you can say you lost it. If your school requires your parents to sign your report card, you could always try faking the signature by copying it from something else they've signed. For a more advanced option, try scanning your card onto a computer, editing the grade, and printing out the new version. If your school sends your report card by email, the only way you can really hide it is by logging into your parents account and deleting the email. For more tips, including how to get your parents to go easy on you when telling the truth, read on!