How to Help Prepare a Preteen Girl for Puberty

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: February 5, 2023 References

You can prepare a preteen girl for the changes that puberty will bring by talking to her honestly, even if it feels awkward. The best way to prepare your preteen is to explain the changes her body will be going through, menstruation, and sex openly and answer any questions she asks. Additionally, provide her with things she will soon need ahead of time, such as sanitary napkins or tampons, deodorant, face wash, and a training bra. Let her know that you will be there to support her whenever she needs you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Helping Her Adjust to Physical Changes

1
Get her a training bra as soon as her breasts start to develop. One of the most noticeable changes that may occur to girls during puberty is the growth of breast tissue. Explain to your child that this is normal, and that is happens differently for every girl. Take her shopping for a training bra when this development starts, to help her feel comfortable about her changing body. She will feel very happy about this.
- This change may start as young as 8 in some girls.
- If your daughter requests a training bra before she starts to develop, buy her one anyway to encourage her to make active choices about her body.
2
Help her establish a regular routine for bathing and showering. As your daughter gets older, she should take control of her own personal hygiene and work out a schedule for it. Make sure she understands that she should shower or bathe at least once a day and wash her hair at least twice a week. Help her decide whether she wants to do so in the morning or in the evening before bed.^{[1]
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- A child who plays sports may need to wash more than once a day to maintain good hygiene.
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3
Show her how to wash her face properly to prevent acne. Most teens deal with acne to some degree, but good hygiene can minimize it. Show your daughter how to wash her face properly in the morning and evening to prevent the buildup of oil and dirt, which can cause breakouts. If her skin is dry, demonstrate how she can moisturize her face after washing it.^{[2]
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- Help your daughter choose a face wash and moisturizer that suits her particular skin type.
4
Buy her deodorant or anti-perspirant to help reduce body odor. During puberty, the underarm sweat glands are stimulated, causing sweat and odor. Buy your daughter underarm deodorant, which will reduce the smell of body odor, or anti-perspirant, which will cut down the sweat produced. Tell your daughter to apply it every day after washing.^{[3]
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- If she wishes, bring your daughter shopping for deodorant or anti-perspirant so she can choose the brand and scent that she prefers.
5
Talk to your daughter about shaving when her body hair starts to grow. Assure your daughter that the growth of body hair is perfectly normal during puberty, particularly on the underarms, pubic area, and legs. Tell her that shaving is her choice and not necessary if she doesn't wish to do it. If she does, show her how to do so safely to avoid injury.^{[4]
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- Give your daughter shaving cream and a single-blade razor to start with to minimize the risks of cuts while shaving.
- Alternatively, give her an electric or battery-operated razor, which will be safer but provide a shave that is less close.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Explaining Menstruation

1
Tell her what a menstrual period actually is. Start by stating in simple terms what happens in the female body during a normal 28-day menstrual cycle. Explain that the uterus builds a lining to feed a fertilized egg, but if pregnancy doesn't occur, the lining is shed. Note that when this happens, blood and menstrual fluid are released through the vagina.^{[5]
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- Outline how this all plays out over the 28-day timeline. Understanding how each menstrual cycle works is valuable and practical information for her to have.
2
Explain some of the emotional effects that menstruation may cause. It is important to prepare girls for the hormonal changes that they will experience during their menstrual cycle. Describe how hormone levels drop right before a woman starts her period, which may cause sadness, irritability, or mood swings. Tell her that this is common and completely normal.^{[6]
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- Reassure her that there will always be ways for her to cheer herself up when she experiences these emotions, and that it won't last long.
3
Reassure her about the physical symptoms that she may experience during her cycle. PMS symptoms and menstrual cramps are difficult symptoms that most women have to deal with. Explain that these side effects of the menstrual cycle are temporary and that her discomfort can be managed. Tell her about some reliable remedies, such as:^{[7]
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- A hot water bottle or heating pad to relieve cramps.
- Taking an over-the-counter pain reliever like ibuprofen to reduce the intensity of cramps.
- Exercising and eating healthy to reduce bloating during PMS.
4
Provide your child with different types of sanitary products ahead of time. Stock your bathroom with sanitary pads and tampons so they are ready for your daughter when she gets her first period. Explain how they are used and advise her to try each option when she is comfortable doing so to see what she prefers. You should also give her a small carry-case of these supplies to bring to school when the time comes.^{[8]
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- Tell her how and when to dispose of pads or tampons properly.
- As a third option, you may wish to purchase a menstrual cup in case she is interested in a reusable option.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Guiding Her to Make Good Choices

1
Talk to your child honestly about sexual health and contraception. While you may feel that puberty is too early for your child to start thinking about sex, it is likely that they will hear about it from friends, television, movies, or social media. Make sure that your daughter has accurate information about sex by discussing it openly. Answer any questions she has and encourage her to ask about anything she wants to know.^{[9]
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- Be sure to discuss safe sex measures, contraception, peer pressure, and health risks with your child as part of a complete talk about sex.
2
Help your daughter stay healthy while feeling good about her body. Weight gain during or after puberty is common for girls as their metabolism changes. Assure your daughter that this possible weight gain is a normal part of her development and nothing to feel insecure about. Emphasize the importance of nutritious eating as well as exercise to stay healthy, regardless of what she weighs.^{[10]
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- Talk to your daughter about eating disorders to acknowledge that some weight control behaviours are dangerous and unhealthy.
- Assert that sugary or processed junk foods are bad for her because they lack nutrients that she needs to be healthy, as opposed to stressing their calorie content.
- Stock your kitchen with healthy snacks for your daughter to enjoy.
3
Give her strategies to say no to drugs and alcohol. Peer pressure can start early among preteens so it is best to prepare your daughter as early as possible. Talk to her openly and honestly about drugs and alcohol and answer any questions that she may have. Give her some practical examples of how to deal with pressure to try these substances, such as:^{[11]
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- Stating a specific reason for saying no, such as not wanting to smoke because you have asthma.
- Speaking firmly and clearly to get the message across.
- Removing herself from a situation if she feels pressured to do something she doesn't want to do.
- Calling home to be picked up if the situation gets out of control.
- Spending time with friends who choose not to use drugs and alcohol.

Conversation Help

Talking to Your Preteen Girl about What to Expect from Puberty

Talking to Your Preteen about Periods

Discussing Healthy Choices with Your Preteen Girl

Community Q&A

Question

What is the most common age for puberty to occur?

Community Answer

Puberty can occur in girls anywhere from ages 8-16, but the most common ages are 11-12.
Question

How old should someone be when they first have sex?

Ruby

Top Answerer

There is no age that you "should" be as long as you are over the age of consent (which in most places is 16). You should only have sex if you and your partner are physically and emotionally ready for it and you are both of legal age. If you don't want to have sex and your partner does, don't let them pressure you. And if the situation is reversed, don't pressure your partner.
Question

My daughter is 8 and already is already developing breasts and hair down below. Is this normal?

Community Answer

Yes. Some girls start puberty earlier, and some start later. Puberty can begin anywhere from age 8-16 for girls.