This article was co-authored by Erika Kaplan. Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
This article has been viewed 59,148 times.
We all know getting over a crush is hard, but it doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out process. If you've moved to a new city, you can let yourself move on in style. Learn to let go of that old crush and start a new and exciting life.
Steps
Moving On
-
1Decide whether or not you want to stay in touch. For some people, staying in touch can be a nice way to keep a friend who you've got a little crush on. For others, it can be like torture. Decide if you're likely to ever see this person in real life again, or if staying in touch will only make it worse.
- If you can't be together and don't live in the same area, consider cutting all ties. Dump the phone number, texts, pictures, and memories. The quicker you forget this person, the better.
- Social media makes it pretty easy to keep in touch, which can be a blessing or a curse. It's easy to chat regularly and keep up to date with their life, but that can be painful. Consider blocking them on social media, as well.
-
2Let yourself be sad for a while. Sometimes, it's ok to have a sad, lonely night on the couch, watching romantic Netflix movies. Have some ice cream and get the tissues out. Sometimes, this is just the thing you need to mope around a bit and move on.
- Try to put a limit on it. If this wasn't an actual relationship, there's no reason to mope around for more than a day or two, lamenting your lost crush. You'll find someone new.
Advertisement -
3Spend some time thinking about your crush, but limit it. Allow yourself to think about the person you liked, but not for more than a certain amount of time each day. Set aside 20 or 30 minutes to think about the person so that you can process your feelings of grief and start to accept the fact that your crush is gone.
- When the allotted time is up for the day, tell yourself that you can think about the person again tomorrow and immediately start engaging in an activity that is productive, such as homework or doing something fun.
-
4Write it out. While you don't want to constantly dwell on the sad feelings that you have, it's not healthy to completely ignore them either. Write down the feelings you are experiencing through poetry, songwriting, short stories or in a journal.
- You can also write letters to the crush that you don't actually intend to send. Writing about your feelings or composing a never-to-be-sent letter to the person can help you process and release your feelings in a healthy and constructive way.
-
5Give it some time. While it hurts a lot, getting over a crush is going to eventually happen. Try not to spend too much money on chocolate and tissues. It'll take time, but eventually the hole in your heart will get filled. Who knows, maybe at the new area you go to, you'll find a new crush.
- While your crush might seem like a person of your dreams, they're really not as perfect as you may think. If you're quite young, you're going to meet hundreds, if not thousands, of new people in the coming years. It won't be long before this little crush seems like a distant memory.
Staying Busy
-
1Make new friends. Find new people to occupy your attention span. If you've switched to a new school, try your best to make as many new friends as possible. Consider making different kinds of friends, or finding other types of kids to hang out with. You might even find a good crush.
- Consider telling them about your situation. Not only will it make you new friends, but they might try to set you up with someone, which would also distract you from the fact that your crush is so far away.
-
2Start with a clean slate. If you've just moved, you've got a great opportunity to not only get over a crush, but to turn over a whole new page in your life. Nobody knows about your past here. Nobody knows what you used to be like. You can be anybody. Consider making a big style change, or switching things up at your new school.
- Just because you never used to dye your hair purple or listen to punk rock doesn't mean that people at your new school know that. They didn't see your kindergarten pictures. They'll never be the wiser.
-
3Try new things. Go to that new cafe that just opened up down the street, join a club, get some hobbies. The more things you do the more people you'll meet. Eventually you're bound to meet someone who catches your interest.
- Try to mix your life up a bit in little ways. Take a different route to school each day, or have something different for breakfast every day of the week. Keep looking for new ways to spice it up.
-
4Stay healthy. It's important to get plenty of sleep, eat healthy, and exercise any time you're feeling depressed. Lack of sleep is known to affect mood and to make people more emotional, while long-term sleep deprivation is commonly linked to depression. Getting a good night's sleep will help you feel refreshed and give you the energy you need to deal with your emotions and to move on with your life.
- Engage in rigorous exercise for at least a half hour approximately five days a week. According to the Mayo Clinic, exercising for a half hour or more causes the brain to emit chemicals that cause you to feel happier and more relaxed. Exercising will not only leave you feeling better physically, but it will help you forget.
-
5Find a new crush. You shouldn't stay stuck on this crush for very long. As soon as you get to your new town, start letting your eyes wander. Check out the other cuties at your school and on your block. Find someone new to crush on, and your old crush will fade quickly away.
- If you do meet someone, try not to compare them to your crush. People hold their crushes in higher regard than they do other people, so comparisons will fall short. Each person is a unique individual, so it's pointless to try to find someone just like your crush.
- Be careful with rebound relationships. If you're not emotionally available, don't lead someone on. Be ready to move on before you find a new crush.[1]
Expert Q&A
-
QuestionHow do you move on from someone you love?Erika KaplanErika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
MatchmakerIt's really just a matter of feeling healed enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable with someone else. Know, though, that your new relationship may be very different than your former relationship. That said, understand that it is very normal to still have feelings for your ex. -
QuestionHow do you know if your ex is still in love with you?Erika KaplanErika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
MatchmakerIf they're peeking at your social media or are liking your posts, it shows that they're still keeping tabs on your life and how you spend your time. If the other person is still getting in touch with you, you can bet that there are still some lingering feelings. -
QuestionHow do you know you are ready to move on to a new relationship?Erika KaplanErika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
MatchmakerWhat you need to evaluate is how you feel about this new person moving forward, leaving aside your feelings for your ex. Are you ready? Do you feel safe with this person? Do you feel safe enough to open up and be vulnerable? Only you can truly find the answer!
References
- ↑ Erika Kaplan. Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.