How to Get a Girl to Respond on Tinder

Co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: April 18, 2022

If you just matched with the girl of your dreams on Tinder, you have one shot to make a good first impression. The girl you matched with probably gets a ton of simple “hey” or “hello” messages, so it’s important to stand out from the crowd if you want a response. Luckily, there are a ton of conversation starters you can use when talking to girls on Tinder, and we have all the best ones listed right here. Use the tips and examples below and you’ll have a better shot of getting that girl you matched with on Tinder to respond.

1

Reference something in her bio.

Mentioning specific things from her bio lets her know you care. Take a few seconds to read through her bio so you can learn some basic things about her. If anything she wrote sticks out to you, bring it up to personalize your first message to her. She’ll love that you took the time to get to know her a little bit before sending your message.^{[1]
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- “It’s so cool you make movies! You must be a real film buff, so what are your top 5?”
- “Wait wait, did you just say you like pineapple on pizza? Thank goodness I’m not the only one. What does everyone have against it?”
- “If you love crosswords so much, what’s a 4-letter word that starts with ME and ends with U? Did you guess MENU? Haha 😂”

2

Comment on her pictures.

Point out a detail you notice to show her she caught your attention. This is good idea if your match doesn’t have a lot of info in her bio. Scroll through her pics and talk about where she is, what she’s doing, or something you noticed in the background. Ask her a question about the pic so she can reply and keep the conversation moving.^{[2]
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- “Wow, is that Big Ben? I’ve always wanted to go to England and it’s so cool that you got to go! What was your favorite part of the trip?”
- “Are those the Harry Potter books I see in the background? I’m such a Ravenclaw, it’s not even funny haha 😂 What house are you?”
- “OMG is that one pic your Halloween costume? It looks so good!! Did you make it yourself?”

3

Ask her an open-ended question.

She’ll give a longer answer if you start your question with “what” or “how.” Open-ended questions need more than a “yes” or “no” answer, so they’re perfect for starting your convo. You could ask her about her day, something you saw in her profile, or a personal detail about her life. Since you’re showing a deeper interest in her, she’ll be more likely to reply.^{[3]
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- “Hey there! Hope you’re doing well 😊 What was the best part of your day so far?”
- “You have a rocking taste in music! What bands do you think I need to listen to?”
- “It’s so cool that you skateboard. How did you get started doing that?”

4

Give her a compliment.

Tell her what you like about her besides her appearance. Mentioning how she looks right away might seem like you’re coming on too strong, so talk about her personality or something you noticed in her profile. She’ll probably be flattered that you care about more than her looks, so she’ll want to reply and build a deeper connection.
- “I was cracking up at the jokes you made on your profile! You should be a comedian!”
- “Wow, the pics of your art are absolutely amazing! You’re incredibly talented 😊”
- “It’s so impressive that you’re the captain of the soccer team! How long have you been playing?”

5

Point out something you have in common.

You can build an instant bond if you both share the same interests. If you notice anything in her profile that you can relate to, tell her about it! If she sees that you understand a topic she cares about, she’ll want to talk to you more and build up your connection.
- “Whoa, you used to live in California? That’s so crazy, I have family over there! Which part are you from?”
- “OMG we actually went to the same college! 😮 I can’t believe we never saw each other before. What did you study?”
- “Are those board games in your profile pic? I love playing Catan with my friends. Which ones do you recommend playing?”

6

Play Would You Rather.

Give your match some interesting choices to pick from to start a fun convo. Would You Rather can help you keep your conversation light and help you learn more about your match. Change the options she chooses from depending on the vibe you want to give off. If you want to find out what she prefers, you might ask more personal questions. If you want a goofier tone, think of a few hypothetical situations you can use as choices instead.
- “Would you rather spend a cozy night in or go out for a night on the town?”
- “Would you rather have the power of flight or invisibility?”
- “Would you rather be stranded on a desert island by yourself or with your family?”

7

Try out a silly icebreaker.

A fun game can be a great way to learn more about your match. There are so many icebreakers to choose from, but 2 Truths and a Lie, Never Have I Ever, and Top 5 lists work really well on Tinder. When she eventually replies, you can answer the questions yourself or talk about her answers to keep your conversation alive.^{[4]
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- “Two truths and a lie! 1: I’ve met the President. 2: I won money from a trivia competition. 3: I’m deathly afraid of spiders.”
- “Never have I ever been to the ocean! Looks like you have in your pics though 😉 Now it’s your turn!”
- “What are the 5 things you can’t leave home without?”

8

Make her laugh with a funny one-liner.

Show off your sense of humor to show her you’re fun to talk to. Even though they may sound a little cheesy, a one-liner or simple pick-up line can be enough to make her smile and reply. Just avoid saying anything too sleazy or offensive since that could be a real turn-off.^{[5]
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- “Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Me either, but it’s enough to break the ice!”
- “BRB I gotta grab my library card so I can check you out again 😉”
- “You must be a bank loan because you definitely have my interest.”

9

Share a funny GIF.

Pair the GIF with an opening message to leave a goofy first impression. According to Tinder, you’re more likely to get a reply if your message has a GIF. If you’re not sure what to say, try searching for a picture on the GIF menu in Tinder’s chat. Once you find one you like, write a short, silly message underneath so she has more to respond to.
- You could send a GIF of someone falling down, and add the caption, “Looks like I’m not the only one that’s fallen for you!”
- You may share a funny cat GIF and say, “I hope you’re looking for something serious because I’m not kitten around.”
- You might send a GIF from a movie they mention in their bio and say, “This is my favorite scene! What’s yours?”

10

Flirt with her.

Turn up the heat right away to let her know you’re interested. Telling a girl that you’re excited to specifically talk to her can make her feel really special. Show that you’re really enthusiastic to talk to her by adding an emoji or two. Just be careful not to say anything inappropriate right away since it could make her feel uncomfortable.
- “I was really hoping that we would match ever since I saw your profile 😉 How’d I get so lucky?”
- “I am so glad that I swiped right on you 😊 I’ve been waiting to talk to you since!”
- “You made my day when you matched with me! I hope it made you smile too!”

11

Tell her you want to hang out.

Being direct lets her know that you seriously want to know her. Some girls like it when you take the lead and tell them what you want right away. Tell her that you’re really interested and want to know her, but you’d rather do it in person. Suggest a public spot where she feels comfortable going so you can get together.
- “I don’t like texting very much, so how about we go grab a coffee and get to know each other?”
- “You immediately caught my eye when I saw your profile. Let’s grab drinks?”
- “I can tell you love roller skating! I’d love if you showed me your favorite spots to go 😊”

Expert Q&A

Question

What should you not do online dating?

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.

Maya Diamond, MA

Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Don't project all of your hopes and desires onto the person you're chatting with online. Your level of knowing a person and your level of fantasy can be very disproportionate, so it's important to make sure you're seeing the person for who they really are.

Warnings

If the girl you’re messaging doesn’t respond or only answers with one-word responses, she might not be interested in you. Try reaching out to another girl you’ve matched with instead.

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Avoid sending multiple messages in a row if you haven’t gotten a response yet since it might make you seem a little over-eager.

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