How to Get Someone to Like You

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

It's not entirely in your control whether someone likes you or not, but you can positively influence their decision. Increase the chances of someone liking you—whether a new friend or a romantic interest—by smiling and being of good cheer when you're around them. It's also a good idea to find out their interests and get them talking. No matter what, be sure to be yourself. If they can't like you for who you are, they're not worth the effort anyway!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making Yourself Attractive and Approachable

1
Practice good personal hygiene. Before you meet with the person, take care of basic grooming: shower, comb your hair, brush/floss your teeth, apply deodorant, and put on fresh clothing. You might also chew mint gum and lightly spritz on perfume or cologne.^{[1]
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- When you look and smell your best, you feel great. As a result, you come off as more confident and likeable to others.
2
Smile when you see them. A real smile conveys interest and excitement about the other person, so show your pearly whites when you greet them. Smiling when you see the person also makes you appear more attractive and likeable.^{[2]
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3
Display good posture and open body language. How you hold your body can make you appear more confident and encourage others to approach you. Sit up straight, pull your shoulders back, and lift your chin. Uncross your arms and legs, make eye contact, and turn to face the person. ^{[3]
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- You might also power pose to seem more confident by placing your hands on your hips or folding your arms behind your head to form an inverted triangle.
- Whatever pose you choose, make sure it's relaxed, not forced. Forced body language looks awkward and makes people think that you're trying to put on a show. You may want to practice open, confident body language when you're alone.
4
Remember their name and something about them. Remembering and using someone's name makes them feel special, so use it regularly in conversation. You can also show you like them (and ultimately make them like you) by following up on some tidbit of information you know about them.^{[4]
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- For example, you might say, “Hey, Noah! How did that math test go?” if the last time you spoke they mentioned having to study.
- Resist the urge to cyber stalk them to learn their interests. If you start talking to them about an interest they haven't told you about, the situation could get awkward. They may also draw the conclusion that you have an unhealthy interest in them.
5
Respect others' boundaries and personal space. You want to increase the odds of someone liking you by avoiding any awkwardness or discomfort. Recognize their personal space by standing at least an arm's length away when talking. Also, don't pry into their personal business or bring up sensitive topics.^{[5]
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- Once you're sure the person likes you, you can move closer during conversation.
- Also, they may eventually feel more comfortable disclosing personal topics once they know you better.
- Respecting boundaries also applies to social media. Don't flood the person's social media profiles or push your virtual relationship further than is appropriate for your level of in-person relationship. The person could see your advances as out of place and inappropriate.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Showing Your Interest

1
Get them talking about their hobbies and interests. If you can spot some common interests that the two of you share, that's a great place to steer the conversation. If not, ask some open-ended questions to learn more about what the person likes. Also, a good way to attract this person is to become friends with them and create a bond! ^{[6]
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- For example, you might ask, “What brings you to this conference?” or “What sort of music do you like?”
- Open-ended questions require more expansive answers that keep the conversation going.
2
Make a thoughtful gesture. Do something for the person without them asking. However, make sure that you aren't acting inappropriately. Choose something that would commonly be done by a friend or acquaintance, whichever is appropriate for your relationship.
- For example, if they miss a class, ask them if they want a copy of your notes. If they're ill, bring them chicken noodle soup.
3
Be an attentive listener. People enjoy talking about themselves, so let them. Orient to face them and listen to their entire message without interrupting.^{[7]
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- Once they pause, paraphrase what they said back to them to be sure you're clear on what they're sharing. This lets them know that you're truly listening and provides the chance for them to clear up any misunderstandings so that you fully get their message.
- Listen with your whole body. Make eye contact with the other person, lean forward a bit, nod in agreement or understanding.
- Keep in mind that if you spend the whole time talking about yourself, you won't get to know the person better, and they may not think you’re interested in them. Let them do most of the talking.
4
Pay them a compliment. Compliments make people feel special, but it also endears them to you. Comment on their appearance, a particular skill they have, or an insight they make during conversation. Try not to focus on only one area, like appearance.^{[8]
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- Say, “Cool shirt! I'm a Harry Potter fan, too" or “Wow, that's a really neat idea!”
5
Make them laugh. People like people of good cheer, so make a witty remark or tell a joke. Laughing together helps strengthen your bond. As a result, the person will look at you more favorably.^{[9]
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- Dance a little jig to show you're happy, gently tease them, or send them a funny meme. Making them laugh will certainly make them like you even more than they already do!
6
Ask them for help or advice. Naturally, people are attracted to people who are able to accept guidance and are willing to learn. Plus, if someone gives you advice or helps you in some way, they'll feel bonded to you since you typically help people you care about.^{[10]
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- You might say, “Hey, I remember you said you're good with computers. My laptop keeps freezing up. Can you take a look at it for me, please?”
7
Do a favor. The same logic that ensures someone will like you if you ask them for help works in reverse. Help the person in some small way and they will like you even more.^{[11]
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- If you know the person always forgets their pencil when they come to class, have one ready for them. If they desperately need someone to watch their pet over the weekend, offer to do it.
8
Prioritize spending time with them. Typically, people want to spend time with people who act like they want to spend time with them, so show the person that you enjoy their company. When you depart, tell them how much fun you had and how much you're looking forward to hanging out again.^{[12]
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- This also means being there when you say you will. If you say you'll hang out on Thursday, don't flake on them to hang with someone else.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Being Yourself

1
Let your quirks show. You may think it's a good idea to act totally cool in front of this person. In reality, they’ve got quirks and they'll feel much more comfortable around you if you don't hide yours. Sing a tad off-key without being embarrassed, confess that you still watch your favorite childhood cartoons, or admit that you dip your fries in barbecue sauce.^{[13]
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- Sharing the little silly things that define you will bring you closer to the other person. Also, a minor disclosure deepens your relationship, since you probably haven't told everyone this information.
2
Communicate honestly, but with tact. Most people like others who are able to give it to them straight. Lying or fudging the truth may make you seem untrustworthy, so aim to be truthful. You should still exercise tact, though.^{[14]
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- For instance, if the person asks if you like their favorite movie, say “Hmm, it's not really my thing, but I did like the main character's personality. I can see why you like him—he's hilarious!” Don't say, “No, I hate that movie!”
3
Stand behind your values and beliefs. One thing that's distinctive about you is the principles and convictions that you hold dear. Those things are at the core of who you are, so it's important to stay true to yourself, even at the risk of someone not liking you.^{[15]
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- Sticking to your beliefs takes courage. It's not easy to be the one who stands up to a bully or refuses to go along with a harmful or dangerous prank. Being true to yourself might make you unpopular with some people but could also attract those with whom you share common values.
4
Respect yourself. Having healthy self-respect means you like yourself no matter what. When you're communicating with others, avoid comparing yourself to others or belittling yourself in any way.^{[16]
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- Remind yourself of your strengths by listing them out to yourself. You might say, “I'm a great listener” or “I can make people laugh.”
- Respecting yourself also means not doing anything that goes against your personal beliefs or values.
- Self-respect is key to earning respect from others. It's difficult for people to treat you with real regard if you don't treat yourself well.