How to Get Excited About Going to School

Look forward to seeing your friends.^[5] One of the best things about school is seeing your friends who you can speak openly with, who won’t judge you, and who can help you cope with stressful situations or sad feelings. Good friends do all that. They also make school more fun.^{[6] [7]}

Make new friends.^[8] If you don’t have many friends at school, you are not alone, even if it may seem that way. There are plenty of other students like you who would love to make a new friend as well. The best place to make these new friends is at school. And while it can be nerve-wracking to meet new people, there are things you can do to make it a much more smooth and enjoyable process. Here are some tips to help.

• Be approachable. Many times we unknowingly wear our worries on our faces, and often that’s shown as a scowl. This can make others feel hesitant about talking to you. So make the extra effort to look up instead of at the floor and to smile at others.
• If you don’t know what to talk about with a potential new friend, ask them questions about themselves. People typically love to talk about themselves. Icebreaker questions can be as simple as, “I like your bracelet. Where did you get it?”
• Talk to the new kid at school and invite him or her to eat lunch with you. They’ll probably be very thankful.
• Consider joining an extracurricular activity. Research shows that simply exposing yourself to new people you’re more likely to connect with them. Joining a club or activity that you enjoy will also help you meet like-minded people!
• Being confident helps a lot in making new friends as well. One of the best ways to be more self-confident is to feel good about your appearance. So take a little extra time getting ready in the mornings. You’ll likely find it much easier to smile at others and ask those icebreaker questions when you know you’re looking your best.^[9]

Enjoy meaningful conversations. At many schools, you have the opportunity to meet and get to know people from a variety of backgrounds, cultures, religions, etc. You will also meet people with all kinds of quirky interests.^[10] Good conversations with new and old friends expand your view on life and make going to school much more fun.

• They also give you a chance to learn things you may not learn elsewhere – about up-and-coming bands, fun events outside of school, and the opposite sex.
• They can also really help when you’re feeling down. One quality conversation can change your outlook pretty fast and make you not feel so alone.

See your boyfriend/girlfriend or crush. Going to school or going back to school means you get to see that special someone in your life more often. This is especially exciting after a long break like summer vacation. If you’re single, school is also a perfect place to safely figure out what most interests you in a romantic partner. It’s also the best place to actually meet someone with those qualities. Where else are there so many members of the opposite sex your age?^{[11] [12]}

Combat teasing. Teasing isn’t a reflection of you and your true self. Nor did you create it. Nonetheless, it’s common in school. And if it’s happening to you, you need to figure out a way to handle it. Much of this will be dependent upon your personality and your readiness to stand up to it. Yet there are ways for all personality types – even if you’re very shy – to fend off teasing. Learning specific ways you can do this will help, even if it takes practice and maybe more time than you’d like. And remember: If the teasing doesn’t stop, if it’s dangerous, if the teaser threatens to hurt you or if the teaser even touches you, you need to talk with an adult (like a teacher) and ask for help. Now, some strategies:

• If you tend to feel hurt easily, totally ignore the teaser, simply shrug and walk away, avoid the teaser as much as possible, give yourself a mental pep talk (“This really bothers me, but I can deal with it.”), visualize a bubble around you and how what’s being said can’t penetrate it or you, and remember you get to choose how you react.
• If you’re ready to confront the teaser, simply say “So?” as you shrug and smile to the teasing remark, leave assertively (“I have better things to do than listen to this!”) and walk away, or make one assertive statement (“Leave me alone.”) and walk away.
• If you’re starting to feel more in control of the teasing, say something that distracts from the teasing (“I hear it’s gonna me a good game tonight.”), make the teaser sound like a broken record and shrug or give a little smile with your statement (“Enough already.”), or state what’s happening as you raise your eyebrows or purse your lips (“You’re kicking my desk.”)
• If you’re pretty confident and quick on your feet, disarm the teaser with humor (a funny one-liner) as you laugh and turn the situation into a funny one and use “I feel” statements (“When you said X, I felt Y. Please stop.")

Recognize the benefits of extracurricular activities. Participating in extracurricular activities, and taking leadership roles in them, is something colleges look for and often expect. It can make the difference between being accepted to a school and not. It also increases your chances of getting scholarships and internships. Being involved in them is also attractive to prospective employers. It shows both that you’re responsible and well-rounded.^[13]

• You also make new friends, learn new things, master skills, get the chance to compete, discover new interests, relieve boredom, take trips, and have a lot of fun. ^{[14] [15]}

Find the right activity for you. Choosing extracurricular activities that benefit you in some way will make you enjoy doing them more. Think about your interests, abilities, how much time you can spend on it, skills you want to learn, and what you hope to get out of joining when you select activities. Talk with your guidance counselor or the activities department to see what is offered and how to become involved.^[16]

• Guidance counselors will also be able to tell you which activities look best on resumes and applications for colleges and jobs.
• Explore several extracurriculars to see which is the best fit for you. And don’t avoid trying a new one if the first didn’t work out.
• Sometimes a club or activity might not be a good fit because you don’t have enough time. If so, look for something that will work and stick with it.^[17]
• The quality of the activity and your level and length of involvement in it matters more to colleges and employers than the quantity of activities you participated in.^[18]

Find out if there are requirements for joining. To help you make a decision, you also need to know if there are any specific requirements for joining. You should find out if you have to be a certain age to participate. Ask if there are fees for joining or participating. Determine if you need to have a physical exam and if you need to try-out to join a sport. See if there are minimal time or event requirements. Finally, find out if there is a minimum GPA to join or to continue participation.

• Also ask if there are opportunities to take on a leadership role in the group.
• If there are, think about your strengths and ultimate goals when picking one.^[19]