How to Flirt With Your Boyfriend

Co-authored by Maria Avgitidis

Last Updated: September 4, 2022 References

Creating Mystery

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Showing Affection

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Using Body Language

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Being Yourself

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Video

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Expert Q&A

ARTICLE

VIDEO

Flirting with the man you love shouldn't stop just because you're wearing his letter jacket. If you keep things flirtatious, you're both likely to find your relationship more fulfilling, no matter whether it's been a month or several decades! Some people are natural-born flirts, while others may need some inspiration now and again. Fortunately, there are endless ways to tickle your partner's fancy.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Creating Mystery

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Close the door when you're getting ready for a date. Putting a (temporary) barrier between the two of you bolsters his surprise and delight when you appear gorgeously dressed and smiling.^{[1]
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2
Surprise him. It may be as simple as buying tickets to a movie he wants to see or a pint of his favorite ice cream. Little surprises along the way brighten his life and break up the usual routine.
- Be sure to let him know there's a surprise in store. Drop a suggestive hint like, "Just wanted to make sure you're free tonight because you have a little something waiting for you."^{[2]
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3
Send a cryptic message. Making up a little code that he probably won't be able to crack keeps you on his mind all day as he tries to figure out what "cot pets roll day" means. ("Let's play doctor!")^{[4]
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- Anagrams (scrambling the letters in a word or phrase) are great for this.
4
Whisper to him. It doesn't need to be anything eloquent; just leaning in and saying something for his ears only creates a sphere of intimacy and can help bring you out of routine conversations. It can be a simple "I love you," a compliment, or a question you were going to ask him anyway, like, "Want to go for a walk with me?"
- You can even do this when there's no one else around - even better!

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Showing Affection

1
Listen to him. When your boyfriend is talking, stop doing other things and give him your full attention. The world is full of distraction, from our own inner preoccupations to the vibration of our mobile phones, but try to put these aside and really listen.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.} Chances are your boyfriend will feel much closer to you if he knows he can confide in you.
2
Write your baby a letter. Expressing your feelings every so often might just take his breath away. Leave a note on the fridge ("Bon appetit! I love you!"), slip a hand-written card into his backpack or briefcase, or, if you're digitally inclined, post an e-card on his Facebook wall.
- Remember restraint is a key element in flirtation: rather than gushing on and on, try to express your feelings in just a few words or sentences.^{[6]
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3
Go to his football (or band) practice. Being present at times when he's doing something else can be a fun surprise and also give you a slightly new view of your other half. He might get a kick out of the interest you show, and if no one else knows you're together, he gets the benefit of having a beautiful girl batting eyes at him in front of his pals.^{[7]
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- Use your judgement, however: sometimes it's not appropriate for there to be onlookers, in which case you might be an unwelcome distraction. Discreetly find out if it's okay before suddenly showing up.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Using Body Language

1
Angle yourself towards him. When you are sitting next to your guy, angle your body toward his: make him know that you're not afraid to get close to him, and that you want to talk to him.^{[8]
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Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.}
2
Maintain eye contact a bit longer. Your eyes probably meet plenty over the course of a day or a date.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.} Next time, when you're in a relaxed situation (eating dinner, talking casually), try consciously holding his gaze for a few moments longer than normal. Eye contact taps into one of the most basic ways that humans communicate and connect.^{[10]
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3
Use your magic touch. Touch sparks a chemical reaction that boosts desire. That's just one reason why you should hold his hand, touch his shoulder when you laugh, kiss him hello and goodbye, and snuggle close to him when you're watching TV.^{[11]
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Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Being Yourself

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Be confident. Inner confidence is a remarkably attractive attribute, which is why it is probably the first and only law of flirtation. But let's be clear: "confidence" doesn't mean arrogance. Confidence means that you are aware of yourself and comfortable with yourself, embodying your positive traits without flaunting them.^{[12]
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- If you aren't a very confident person, consider building your self confidence. Feeling good in your own skin will help you in all aspects of life, not just your relationship.
2
Add a few jokes to your repertoire. Cracking corny jokes or one-liners can be a great ice-breaker, especially if they flatter his manliness. For example, you can accidentally trip and fall into your man, commenting, "My, your chest is so firm I thought I was falling onto a wall!"^{[13]
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When all else fails, laugh together. Your attempts to introduce something new might elicit a laugh, but don't worry: this is a natural reaction to a break from the status quo. Laughing along with him keeps things playful and reinforces the bonds that keep you together.^{[14]
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Expert Q&A

Question

What colors should I wear to get a better response from my boyfriend?

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.

Maria Avgitidis

Matchmaker & Dating Expert

Expert Answer

Color can say a lot about you on a subconscious level. For example, many social media brands use the color blue because blue is a very trusting color. It is better to wear blue, green, or red, instead of purple or black, if you want to get a better response from your boyfriend.
Question

How can I flirt with my boyfriend?

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.

Maria Avgitidis

Matchmaker & Dating Expert

Expert Answer

The best way to flirt is to smile and be open to talking. A smile does go a long way. It tells people that you are friendly. If you want to flirt with your boyfriend, do not become anxious and do things like cross your arms, turn away or talk to other people without making eye contact. Show that you are an open person, make eye contact while talking to him.
Question

What can I do to have an enjoyable time with my boyfriend?

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.

Maria Avgitidis

Matchmaker & Dating Expert

Expert Answer

If you want to have fun with your boyfriend, do not get distracted by your phone when you are together. Meet them at the time you have decided. Be what you are. Try to see the good qualities of each other. Pay attention to the nice things you do for each other instead of the ones you do not like.