How to Find Out if a Person You're Interested in is Already Taken

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

Last Updated: January 29, 2023

You meet someone, and you're interested in them. But how do you know if the person is already in a relationship? When you think you might be interested in someone, one of the most important things to do is find out if they are already taken, or already dating someone else. Fortunately, there are a number of strategies you can try.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Reading the Signs

1
Check online. Check out their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Myspace, or any other social networking site they may have. If unsure if they have one, search by name, ZIP code, school, or other identifying information you know. Check if their relationship status is "in a relationship."^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Be aware that their profile may be private and you might have to request that they add you in order to view it. This would mean potentially outing your interest.
- In addition to checking their profile, scan through their recent photos. Are there any photos of a couple or any hints that they may be seeing someone?
2
Use people search engines. The Internet has several search engines, like Pipl, dedicated to finding information about a given person. Make sure to cross-reference any information you find with other sources because results may not always be accurate.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Learning about others online can be useful when you have a legitimate reason to know, but make sure you don't fall into the dangerous world of online stalking.^{[3]
  X
  Research source}
Advertisement
3
Ask your friends. Your friends may be able to find out and are not as likely to blab to your love interest or others. Try asking them, "Hey, do you know if such and such is in a relationship?"
- If you and your love interest have friends in common, you may want to try asking them. However, note that if you do this, these friends might report back to the person that you've asked if they have a significant other. Thus, your guise of secrecy would be over. Asking friends that you both share could also be embarrassing or lead to uncomfortable situations. Think carefully about whether the risks are worth it.
4
Consider rumors. Although rumors aren't the best source, they can be useful in finding out some basic information about people.
- As with online information, cross-reference rumors. Is it just one person relaying the rumor or is it widespread? Be cautious about believing anything right away and without confirmation.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Talking to Him/Her

1
See if they ever mention anyone. Engage your interest in casual conversations, which can sometimes lead into talking about whether or not they're with someone. They may even drop a name!
- Ask the person what they've been up to recently. Try to draw out answers that will make them say "I did this with my girlfriend." Asking about their weekend is a good bet.
- A definite hint is if they refer to a "we" when talking about past or future plans and events.
- You might also look for non-verbal signals that someone is already taken. Are they constantly on their phone, texting and smiling? Are they always busy or running off to meeting other people?
- Talking to the person could also be useful for you, too. You'll get to know them a little better. You can figure out whether or not you really like them and want to pursue them further.
2
Ask and insinuate indirectly. If your love interest says something funny, ask "what does your girlfriend/boyfriend think about that?" or "I bet your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't laugh at those jokes." Or, if you're discussing something the person likes to do or somewhere they like to go, ask "Do you and girlfriend/boyfriend go there a lot?"^{[4]
X
Research source}
- You can also try asking "So where's your girlfriend/boyfriend?", especially if you've only met the person recently. If they are dating someone, they will answer the question. If they don't, they might be slightly confused or laugh and say, "Oh, I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend." This gives you the perfect opportunity to flirt by saying, "Well, I just assumed a person as (insert an adjective) as you would already have a girlfriend/boyfriend." This approach allows you to get your game on by complimenting and flirting with the person you like.
- Try acting like you're settling some sort of argument. For example, say, "Do you like when your girlfriend/boyfriend calls you a lot? My friend doesn't think she should call her boyfriend everyday. What's your opinion?" Go on using this tactic until you find out.
- Remember that even if this line of questioning helps you figure out that your love interest is not in a relationship, it doesn't necessarily mean that they like you. However, at least you're in the picture at this point!^{[5]
  X
  Research source}
3
Spend some time with the person you're interested in. Their partner might suddenly show up.
- You might also be able to figure out whether or not your interest is with someone else based on how they act with YOU. If someone likes you, they will try to spend time with you. That's the clearest indication. If they don't make time to see you, it may mean that he is a) with someone else; b) not interested enough; c) not in a time in their life when they feel ready to pursue a relationship.^{[6]
  X
  Research source}
4
Just ask. The easiest solution is to be straight-forward and ask the person you're interested in if they are currently in a relationship. Be careful, as this will almost certainly tell them that you're romantically interested and there is no real way to backtrack from that. Nevertheless, this is quickest and most assured way of getting a definite answer.
- If feeling bold, just go right ahead and ask them out. If you ask, then they should disclose if they're in a relationship. Of course, it's still possible that they may say "yes" to going out with you AND be in a relationship with someone else, but that's another issue entirely!