How to Feel Pretty

Co-authored by Paul Julch, MA

Last Updated: September 9, 2022 References Approved

We all have those days where we wake up, look in the mirror, and don't love what we see. Maybe you're having a bad hair day, a pimple decided to show up out of nowhere, or you're just not feeling any of the clothes in your closet. Whatever the reason, it's totally possible to ditch those negative thoughts and feel prettier, and we've put together some tips to help you do it.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Being Pretty on the Inside

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Understand your own prettiness. This is the most important step for feeling pretty. You have to understand that your beauty comes from you, not from any outside source. But you have to practice feeling this way.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Paul Julch, MA
Personal Wardrobe Stylist
Expert Interview. 29 July 2020.}
- Write a list of all the good things about yourself. This includes things like helping someone carry their groceries, listening to a friend, or being the best at puns.
- Every morning, when you wake up, go to the bathroom mirror, smile at yourself and say aloud "I am awesome" and "I am happy." The more you say it the more you will convince your brain that it is true.
- Write a list of things you think are beautiful about yourself. Maybe you have big brown eyes, a cute nose, or full lips, or a great laugh. If you can't think of any, ask a trusted friend or family member.
- Always remind yourself that you're loved and people love you because if your personality and the pure beauty that comes from you
- When you start having negative thoughts about yourself, remember your lists.
2
Stop negativity in its tracks. Negative thoughts cause our brain to believe the negativity. If we think we're ugly, our brain will be convinced of that. You have to convince your brain that those thoughts aren't true.^{[2]
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- When you start to have a negative thought, label it as such. Example: "My nose is hideous." Say to yourself: "I'm having a thought that my nose is hideous." It makes it so that thought isn't you.
- Let the negative thoughts go. You are not your thoughts, but they can be extremely harmful to your self-esteem.
- Replace the negative thought with a positive thought. Even if you don't believe the positive thought, you can trick your brain into believing it.^{[3]
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3
Build your self-confidence. Everyone has good qualities, both inside and outside, but it's important to realize that people are more than their outer appearance. It's great to admire people (and yourself!) for their physical attractiveness, but it's even better to look at what's on the inside. There will always be someone prettier, more successful, with more romantic partners.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Paul Julch, MA
Personal Wardrobe Stylist
Expert Interview. 29 July 2020.}
- Don't judge yourself so harshly. You are your own worst enemy. Give yourself the freedom to have days where you don't feel attractive. Confidence is about trusting in yourself even on days where you don't feel like it.
- Don't judge other people. What you think about other people says a lot about you. Try to think positive, kind thoughts towards others. It will affect your positivity towards yourself.^{[5]
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- Don't compare yourself to others. This will only cause you to lose confidence in yourself. Besides, that person with the perfect hair might be leading a very difficult life in other respects.
- Fake it until you make it. You can trick your brain into being confident if you fake confidence. Act like you already know you're pretty and you will start to believe it.^{[6]
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- Don't feel as though you have to have a romantic partner to be worthwhile. Your self-worth and your confidence rely on you and only you. If you place too much self-worth control in the hands of other people, you won't learn true confidence.
- Indulge yourself in a selfie. You control the picture and you can make it so it emphasizes your most attractive features. When you're feeling less confident, pull it out and remind yourself that you are pretty!
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Be attractive by being kind and respectful and pleasant. People may react initially to physical attractiveness, but studies have found that they will re-evaluate their perception of that attractiveness based on personality traits.^{[7]
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Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Department of Psychology, Monmouth University; Arthur Aron, Department of Psychology, State University of New York at Stony Brook; Julie Gee, Department of Psychology, State University of New York at Stony Brook.}^{[8]
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- Listen to people when they talk. You don't have to be a doormat to listen to others and people will notice that you have taken an interest in their words.
- Kindness is one of the most important traits in rating attractiveness according to Yale psychologist, Paul Bloom.^{[9]
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  Bloom, P. How Pleasure Works: The new science of why we like what we like. New York: Norton.} This means helping others out when they need it and not being judgmental about others (see steps above).
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Decide how you define attractiveness. Remember that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Different cultural groups have different beauty norms. The obsession with thin being pretty only really began in the 1960s.^{[10]
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- Remember that the people in magazines and movies and t.v. shows have a whole army of hairstylists, make-up artists, lighting, and photoshop. Of course you don't look like them. They don't even look like them.^{[12]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Being Pretty on the Outside

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Change your appearance. Changing your appearance can give you a boost in confidence and help you out of an appearance rut. It can also be fun!^{[14]
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Expert Source

Paul Julch, MA
Personal Wardrobe Stylist
Expert Interview. 29 July 2020.}
- Change your hairstyle. Cut it, part it differently, give it highlights or dye it pink.
- Give yourself dark smokey eyes or wear bright red lipstick.
  - Go for a free makeover. Make your way to the makeup counter of your local department store and ask for some assistance trying new colors. If you always wear shades of plum, tell the sales associate to break out the peach tones for a completely new look. You'll go home with a fab new take on your face.
- Picking out a new item of clothing can change your entire wardrobe: a new shirt, skirt, or even a scarf.
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Wear clothes, make-up, and accessories that make you feel pretty and confident. Clothes that you feel comfortable in are better than clothes that may be the height of "fashion" but which you don't enjoy wearing. Your uncomfortableness with yourself will show.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Paul Julch, MA
Personal Wardrobe Stylist
Expert Interview. 29 July 2020.}
- Check that your clothes fit correctly. It's hard to be comfortable when your jeans dig in too tightly at your waist, or your bra leaves marks on your skin.
3
Pamper yourself. Giving yourself some time alone to do something relaxing can give you a boost in self-esteem and also help you relax, which in turn helps keep up your positivity.
- Feel pretty all the way down to your feet with an at-home pedicure. Go as wild as you want! Wear a toe ring or two. Paint each nail a different color, use glitter or sample a shade that you're not quite ready to wear on your hands.
- Give your skin some extra special care. When you pamper yourself, it shows. So give yourself at-home facial for skin-smoothing results.
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Work to be healthy. Healthiness is not only considered attractive, but it also means that your mind is healthy, too! It can help with depression and with keeping you from getting sick. It's hard to feel pretty when you've got a cold.
- Sleep is a huge factor in healthiness. Too little sleep strains the nervous system and can make you more susceptible to depression and illness. If you can't get the recommended 8 to 9 hours each night, make sure to catch a nap during the day.
- Exercise releases endorphins and serotonin which boost your mood and your body. There are lots of different ways of exercising: yoga, dance, taking a walk or run, aerobics, zumba. They can be a lot of fun.^{[16]
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  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
  Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services
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- Learn to meditate. Meditation can help with retraining your brain to let go of negative thoughts. It also can help with depression, eating disorders, and stress.^{[17]
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- Laugh. Grab a friend and reminisce about a funny event you both witnessed, or watch your favorite comedy. Laughter can do things like relieve pain, help you cope with difficult situations, and improve your mood.^{[18]
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- Soak up some rays. Sunshine's known to be a major mood-booster. In fact, in some Northern European countries where the sun rarely shines during winter, people go for light therapy to fight depression. (Take care when being in the sun, and be sure to wear sunscreen.)

Community Q&A

Question

What if a guy makes you feel bad about yourself?

Community Answer

Don't hang around him anymore. You shouldn't hang around with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. They are not worth your time and energy.
Question

I am very insecure about everything on me, and everyone says I am beautiful but i just think they are lying. How do I make myself less insecure?

Community Answer

First of all, if everyone says you are beautiful, chances are that you really are. You most likely are hard on yourself sometimes and do not appreciate yourself. This may sound cliche, but you are really the only person that is you in the world, and that is special and beautiful. Another thing that may help is telling yourself that you are beautiful each night before you sleep. This way, you can feel happy when you're going to sleep and wake up refreshed.
Question

Each time I go with my friends to hang out, they just ignore me and say that I'm ugly. What can I do?

Community Answer

Get new friends. It might be hard right now, but opt for being alone rather than being with people that have a negative effect on you. 'Nothing' is better than nonsense.