This article was co-authored by Collette Gee and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Flamiano. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Can’t get him out of your mind? Maybe you have a lot to say, but you’re still staring at your phone’s screen. Want some low-key texts you can send to your crush that are super subtle but still get a point across? If you want to catch his eye, and maybe even his heart, read on. Here, we’ll share how to drop hints to a guy over text with messages that range from sweet to spicy—try these out to suggest you might be interested in him.
Steps
Kick a playful convo off with a quirky opener.
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To really grab his attention, skip ordinary lines like “hey.” A creative opener shows you want to give him extra effort.[1] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. If you’ve just met, playfully bring up how you ran into each other. Random, off-the-cuff comments help if a guy has been your friend for a while and you want to jumpstart a connection that’s a little less platonic. [2] X Research source- "Hey, it’s me, from the produce section. It was nice running into you at the grocery store! 🛒 Sorry about grabbing the last good plum. I’ll make it up to you.”
- "I saw that League of Legends was on your Steam wishlist. You still don’t own it after all these years?! I guess I’ll have to fix that.”
- "Accidentally bought an extra succulent. Do you have a green thumb or not? I need someone I like to hand this off to.”
Butter him up with compliments.
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Don’t be afraid to give him tons of praise. Admiring comments are quick ways to break the ice.[3] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. Start with special talents or personality traits of his that you’ve noticed. You can also bring up habits of his that a lot of other people point out. By embracing him for who he is and how he acts, you show you have a soft spot for him.[4] X Research source- "I really dig that you always speak your mind. You really don’t hold anything back!”
- "I saw you refill the water bowl of that dog during your break when its owners were inside the cafe. I love people who care about animals.”
- "I saw you at the show last night! Your bass riff was incredible!”
Be his go-to for gifs and memes.
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Make him laugh on the regular. It will show you’ve been paying attention to his sense of humor.[5] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. Try to gather intel about his favorite tone and subjects when it comes to jokes. If you find content that is more his style or that focuses on topics he talks a lot about, he’ll feel a lot more special.- "Sorry to hear work was so rough! Here’s a pic of sandpaper to show I feel your pain.”
- "Found this meme that made me think of you! 🤣 Total horror movie cliché, right?!”
- "Thought this motivational poster was right up your alley! ”
Chat about what you’re both looking forward to.
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Swap calendars and go over special days. Not only will you learn more about each other’s hobbies and interests, but you also open up the chance to share these together. You can tell him about an event you’re going to. Expressing excitement about one of his activities might make him invite you along. Either way, you give him the clue that you want to spend more time around him.[6] X Research source
- "Hey, I have an extra ticket to this concert tomorrow night. Want it?”
- "No way?! You found a hiking spot in this town? I’d love to see it.”
- "I’m new to this area and need a spotter at the gym. Would you be interested?”
Keep it chill and relaxed.
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If you’re feeling more shy, casual texts keep it low-pressure. You buy more time and can reveal you have a crush when it feels right.[7] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. You can reach out when you have free time or you can answer his texts in an easygoing tone. A big benefit to staying laidback is that he knows you can unwind around him.- "TGIF. Super tired and just kicking back with some hot chocolate. What’re you getting into?”
- "Yeah, I’m down for a hike. I need to get some new shoes though, tbh. What brand do you think I should get?”
- "Just got back from a family reunion. Do I have some stories for you…”
Play hard to get.
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You don’t always have to be available to prove you like him. Texting too much can also feel more like a chore and less like a fun, cute game. Put a pause on getting back to him right away and let him simmer. Sometimes, making him wait will give the clue that he should try and pursue you. Just don’t keep him guessing too long or he may think you’re not interested. Letting one or two days pass is enough to keep your dynamic fresh. [8] X Research source
- "Sorry, just saw this.”
- "Can I get back to you?”
Throw open-ended texts at him to keep him on his toes.
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Send a quick text to show your playful, mysterious side. The right one-liner can highlight how laidback and fun-loving you are. A clever curveball also shakes up the energy. If you don’t sound too formal or serious, he can pick up that you want a light conversation.[9] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. Short messages also encourage him to chime in and be in on the game.[10] X Research source- "Joke’s on you!”
- "Let’s skip the small talk.”
- "You know what I’m in the mood for?”
Ask deep questions to connect with him.
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Shower him with curiosity about serious topics. You’ll steer the conversation somewhere a lot less casual. By picking his brain about matters that take time to think about, he might stay on the phone and open up.[11] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. You can ask about his value system, life philosophies, family life, hopes, or even fears. Tell him you’ve been dying to learn more about him and what’s really important in his point of view. [12] X Research source- "If you had all the money in the world, how would you spend it?”
- What do you think you’ll be doing in ten years?”
- "Do you think it’s better to be hopeful or realistic?”
Hit him with a flirty text.
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Turning up the heat spells out you’re attracted to him. You can start off slow by complimenting his outfit or haircut.[13] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. Directly talking about his looks or how you’d like to be physically near him are more obvious hints.[14] X Research source- "Did anyone tell you that you have the best jawline?”
- "Okay, I don’t know if we can still be friends if you keep wearing that leather jacket! You’re kind of giving me bad boy vibes.”
- "Gotta love the winter season. I just want to jump into your arms when you wear that sweater.”
Invite him to a local spot to hint you want a date.
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Asking to hang out lets him know you think he’s pretty good company. If you’re usually around each other in a certain setting, suggest a new hangout.[15] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. If you’re clear and specific about logistics, you hint that spending time with him is a priority. Choosing a place where you both can have fun helps sparks fly. [16] X Research source- "I think we both need to let off some steam! Paintball on Saturday?”
- "You said you like Thai and I know the absolute perfect place. Are you free Thursday?”
- "I feel like I only see you in the morning. Why don’t we catch a movie tonight?”
Heap on the affection.
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Cute and sincere messages are the hardest to miss. Sweeten your texts with these for a more obvious signal.[17] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. Sometimes, you don’t want to play it cool. If you want to show how warm he makes you feel, talk about how you’d like to cuddle up to him. You can also dote on him more than anyone else around! Say you’ll go the extra mile for him or that he makes you feel super special.[18] X Research source- "Thank you for listening to me today. I wish I could give you a hug right now.”
- "You’re cramming for finals? Can’t I come over and cook you a nice dinner? You deserve it.”
- "No one else can make me feel as giddy as you do.”
Point out signs that he likes you.
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Encourage him to admit his feelings first. You can just confess your own feelings later. If you speak up when he’s acting differently, then you might not need to drop a lot of hints. Casually mentioning his habits could lead to him explaining that he has a crush on you.[19] X Expert Source Collette Gee
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 20 August 2021. That way, you can reveal you have one on him, too. [20] X Research source- "Hey, thanks for coming to my open mic for the third time in a row. Is there something you’re trying to tell me?”
- "Wow, have we really been texting every day? Do you talk with all your friends this much?”
- "You ‘love’ react all my jokes! Am I really that funny?”
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References
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://medium.com/collaboration-room/43-openers-to-text-your-crush-instead-of-hey-3de8b3a5510f
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://thejoshspeaks.medium.com/the-truth-about-complimenting-your-crush-in-person-or-over-text-89b66c8f6871
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/ask-hang-out/
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/art-of-dating/make-someone-like-text/
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://parade.com/1085958/marynliles/flirty-texts-for-him/
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a31346416/questions-to-ask-your-crush
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201806/why-do-we-flirt-text
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-ask-someone-out/
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://twodrifters.us/blog/loving-texts-for-him.html
- ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
- ↑ https://www.insider.com/signs-someone-has-a-crush-on-you-2018-2#they-act-differently-around-you-than-they-do-with-other-people-1l