How to Date a Guy That Likes Another Girl

Co-authored by JT Tran

Last Updated: May 3, 2022 References

Oh no, the guy you like is crushing on another girl! That can be a hard situation to be in, so try to figure out where he stands with other girl. If he's dating her, you might want to back off. Otherwise, try building a friendship with him if you haven't already or even tell him that you like him.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Figuring out His Status with the Other Girl

1
Talk to other people to see if the guy is dating the other girl. If you don't want to approach the guy directly, talk to other people who know him or the girl he likes. Check to see if they're dating yet, so you can decide if it's a good idea to try to date him yourself.
- For instance, try asking a mutual friend this question: "Hey, you know Chris? Is he dating Jess?"
2
Ask the guy about the other girl. If you're on speaking terms with the guy, ask him about her. You could poke around to see if he plans on asking her out or if he just thinks she's cute. That way, you can figure out if it's a good idea to start dating him or not.
- For example, you could say, "So you think Rachel is cute? Are you thinking about asking her out?"
- If he's planning on asking her out, you may not want to get involved. He may be too emotionally invested in this other girl to really pay attention to you.^{[1]
  X
  Research source}
- If you don't want to ask him directly, look for clues. If he spends a lot of time with her and talks about her a lot, he may be getting ready to ask her out.
Advertisement
3
Check if the guy and girl are exclusive. Even if the guy likes the other girl and they're dating, that doesn't mean he can't date other people. If both he and the girl agree on it, they may both be seeing other people. You can ask the guy outright or check around to find out more.^{[2]
X
Expert Source

JT Tran
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}
- For instance, you could ask the guy, "Are you two still seeing other people?"
4
Drop the idea of dating if the guy is in an exclusive relationship. You don't want to be the girl who tries to break up a couple so you can date the guy. For one, if you succeed, you may end up in a relationship where the guy doesn't trust you. After all, you did break them up. But, more importantly, it's the right thing to do. Until he breaks up with her or vice versa, consider him off-limits.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- Even if you think you're meant for each other, keep in mind this person has flaws like anyone else. You may think he's perfect, but that's because you haven't actually been in a relationship with him yet. In other words, you may just be idolizing this person, and the reality might be a letdown.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Building a Friendship

1
Smile at the guy. A smile makes you more approachable. It says, "Hey, I'd like to get to know you! Come say hi." You don't want to sit and smile at him for hours. But, if you see him glance at you, flash him a smile.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Make eye contact while you do! That lets him know you've noticed him.
2
Introduce yourself. Friendship often happens before dating. Say "Hello!" and strike up a conversation if you haven't yet. Try talking to him at lunch, or introduce yourself if you're in the same class or work the same shift.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- Try to have a reason for the conversation, as that will make it go a little easier. For instance, you could say, "Isn't this class hard? That last test was a killer. I'm Libby by the way."
3
Encourage your friendship by talking to him often. When you see him again, don't be afraid to say hello. Start a new conversation about a common hobby or interest. Look for clues on his clothes or the things he carries to help you know what to say.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- For instance, if he always has headphones, he probably likes music. You could say, "What are you listening to? Is that one of your favorites?"
4
Say something nice to the guy. People like hearing nice things about himself, so the next time you see him, give him a compliment. You don't have to compliment his looks. You can compliment his clothes, smile, or even his intelligence or humor.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- For example, you might say, "Wow, you got a 100 on that test? You're really smart!"
5
Invite the guy to hang out with you. You don't have to ask him on a date just yet. Just ask him to do something you both like. It can make it easier if you get a group of people together. That can take the pressure off.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- You could say, "Hey, I heard you like cars. You want to check out the car show this weekend with me and my friends?"
- Be sure to split the bill evenly if you end grabbing food together.^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  JT Tran
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Asking the Guy Out

1
Approach the guy directly.^{[10]
X
Expert Source

JT Tran
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.} One simple way to get a guy to go out with you is to simply ask you. It's alright to be a little nervous or shy, but the worst he can say is "No!" It may sting, but you will live to date another day.
- For example, you could say, "Hey, do you want to go out on a date sometime? I kind of like you."
2
Tell the guy you like him to encourage him to ask you out. This step can be really scary! You don't want to be hurt. But, the only way the guy will know you like him is if you tell him. Then, maybe he'll ask you out so you don't have to ask him. You may find out that he likes you back.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you could say, "Josh, I just want you to know that I really like you. As more than a friend."
3
Ask the guy out indirectly if you're afraid to ask him directly. You don't always have to walk up and ask him out. You can give him hints or work up to asking him out. Maybe he'll take the hint and ask you out.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you could say, "I know you're into vinyl records. Do you know any good stores nearby?" When he answers, you could say, "Cool, want to go sometime?"