How to Create Romance on Your Wedding Night

Co-authored by Karen Brown

Last Updated: January 31, 2022 References

Wondering how you could possibly follow up on the joy and romance of your wedding ceremony and reception? Worry not! You and your new spouse will have so much fun together at the wedding that you don’t need to fixate on every little detail that follows. So long as you and your partner enjoy yourselves, it will be romantic. If you want help making sure that the night is perfect, we’ve got your back! In this article, we’ll walk you through everything you’ll need to consider.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Finding the Perfect Location

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Stay at home for a more intimate night. Sometimes, the perfect location is the one you and your spouse already share. For some couples, spending the night at home will be far more comfortable than going off to a new or exotic location, and it can even make the whole experience feel more real or genuine.^{[1]
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- If you’re short on funds or are celebrating your honeymoon at a later date, a night at home may be the perfect option.
2
Go to a hotel for a high-class experience. Even if you’re staying in the same city or town, renting a hotel room can make your night feel far fancier. Since it’s your wedding, book a large room in a 4 or 5-star hotel that offers room service and a variety of amenities. Make sure to book well in advance, that way you’ll be guaranteed the room come wedding night.^{[2]
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- Many hotels offer bridal or honeymoon suites specifically designed for newlyweds.
3
Travel to a resort for a fun, foreign adventure. Whether you’re interested in a beachside hut or a cozy cabin in the woods, a resort is a perfect option for couples craving adventure. Spending your wedding night in a completely new, unique place will make the experience even more memorable and enhance the fantasy elements present in many weddings.^{[3]
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Don’t let kids, pets, family, or friends in. Perhaps the most important part of any wedding night location is that only you and your spouse are allowed in. After the wedding, don’t let any friends or family members come back to the room with you. If you have kids, send them to stay with other family members. If you have high-maintenance pets like dogs, board them.^{[4]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Setting the Mood

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Make sure the room is clean. No matter where you’re staying, make sure everything is neat and tidy before leaving for the wedding ceremony. If you’re staying at a hotel or resort, check to make sure they’ve set up any special amenities you ordered. If you’re staying at home, make sure you:
- Finish any daily chores.
- Tidy up the house and remove clutter.
- Dust and polish the furniture.
- Vacuum, steam-clean, or mop the floors.
- Wash your fabrics and clothes.
2
Fill the room with flowers or flower petals. Even for something as big as you wedding night, some simple flowers can make a major difference. Try filling the room with your spouse’s favorite flowers, or lay rose petals on and around the bed. Though fake flowers can work, real flowers will provide an extra special touch.
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Add fragrance to the room. Scents are a powerful but subtle way to change someone’s mood. To add just a scent, try burning a stick of incense or placing drops of essential oil on your sheets. To enhance the visual atmosphere as well, trying burning scented candles or filling bowls with scented potpourri.^{[5]
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- If you don’t have a favorite scent, try an arousing one like ylang-ylang, lavender, jasmine, or sandalwood.
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Play some mood music you both enjoy. Music is a great mood enhancer, and that’s certainly true for your wedding night. Pick some romantic albums you both enjoy and let them play in the background throughout the night. For a more personalized sound, create a playlist of songs that bring back memories of your time together, such as the song you had your first dance to.^{[6]
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- Mood music doesn’t have to be traditionally romantic. If you both swoon at the sound of heavy metal, put on Metallica instead of Michael Bublé.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Enjoying the Night Together

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Flirt with each other. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean the sweet nothings have to end. Simple things like gazing into your spouse’s eyes, complimenting them, or touching them lightly can increase the romantic and sexual tension between you.^{[7]
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Prepare some sweet snacks. Though you probably had a big meal at your wedding, think about saving room for wedding night dessert. Chocolate, strawberries, honey, and similar foods are great aphrodisiacs, and you can use them to make your night even more romantic. Try:^{[8]
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- Feeding each other small snacks like chocolate truffles.
- Eating a piece of food together and ending in a kiss.
- Licking sticky foods like honey and chocolate sauce off each other.
3
Give each other the spa treatment. Taking a hot bath or shower together will give you the chance to be intimate while cleaning up after the day’s activities. If you’re staying at a fancy hotel or resort, make sure to use any large bathtubs, showers, and jacuzzis you may have access to. After, try rubbing your spouse with mineral oil and giving them a massage.^{[9]
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Put on sexy clothes or lingerie. For something elegant, try slipping into silk pajamas or a fancy robe. For something more stripped down, try a see-through bra or baby doll dress, a lace panty and garter belt set, or some tight-fitting boxers. No matter what you wear, remember that your spouse loves the way you look and will enjoy the things that make you feel sexy.^{[10]
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- Make sure you bring some normal clothes as well since you may not want to sit in skimpy underwear all night.
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Enjoy the honeymoon sex. For many people, the term “wedding night” is synonymous with sex, and for good reason! Whether it’s your first time or not, getting physical with your new spouse can be an incredibly intimate, emotional experience. Make sure you talk about your desires beforehand, but stay open to new ideas and go with the flow.^{[11]
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- If you saved yourself for marriage, relax and take things slow. There’s plenty of time for experimentation later, so for now, just enjoy the ride.^{[12]
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- If you’re open to roleplay, try recreating your first sexual encounter together, complete with the outfits you were wearing at the time.
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Let yourself be emotionally intimate. When people think of a wedding night, they often forget the most important part: simply being together. Beyond the food and sex, the fancy room and romantic mood, the wedding night is your first chance to be together as a married couple. Let yourself relax and be open and intimate with your partner, whether that means talking for hours about your future or simply lying together, hand in hand, until you fall asleep.

References

More References (3)

Expert Q&A

Question

What do you pack in your wedding overnight bag?

Karen Brown
Wedding & Event Planner
Karen Brown is the Founder and Creative Director of Karen Brown New York, a full service event planning company. Karen has planned hundreds of successful weddings, corporate parties, award ceremonies, product launches, galas, and fundraisers over the past decade throughout the United States, Mexico, and Canada.

Karen Brown

Wedding & Event Planner

Expert Answer

Pack your overnight bag with all the essentials so you can focus on having a romantic night. Make sure to include toothbrushes and toothpaste, sleepwear, face wash, and whatever else you need for a nightly routine. Getting this out of the way clears the way for a stress-free, romantic evening!
Question

Do I have to have sex on the wedding night? Sex is gross.

Community Answer

No; there's no requirement, do whatever you're comfortable with. However, make sure that your partner is aware of how you feel about sex so that you can both manage your expectations.