How to Cope With Anxiety and Depression

Learn to live in the present moment. If you are suffering from anxiety, it may be because you are worried, uncertain, or nervous about the future. If you are suffering from depression, it may be because you are constantly dwelling on the past, ruminating about things gone wrong, or thinking self-defeating thoughts. Learning to appreciate the present moment will have a remarkable impact on your life. However, this is no easy feat, but it will help you to separate your feelings from your thoughts.^[12]

• The best way to stop dwelling on the past or obsessing over the future is to notice when these kinds of thoughts arise throughout your daily life. When they do, then acknowledge them, label them thoughts, and let them fade away.

Meditate. Regular meditation practice has been shown to ease symptoms of stress and anxiety. Mindfulness can also help you feel more connected to others, it can help you gain more control over your emotions and increase your ability to think about situations in a new light.^[13] Consider joining a meditation center or group in your area. Most centers offer free meditation instruction and have weekly open houses.

• To practice mindfulness and meditate, take a few moments every day to close your eyes, relax your muscles, and focus all of your attention on your breath. If a thought arises, then acknowledge it and let it disappear. The more you do this, the more you will eventually be able to incorporate it into your daily life.^[14]

Quiet your inner critic. Your inner critic is self-defeating or exaggerated thoughts that keep your feelings of depression and anxiety at large. Your inner critic may say things like “I’m a failure” or “There is nothing I can do, and I’m stuck.” Your inner critic may also latch onto one of your worries or thoughts that cause anxiety and then cause a snowball effect of more and more worrisome thoughts. Thoughts such as these keep you from being able to see choices in your life, make you feel incapable or stuck, or perpetuate worries, depression, or anxiety.^[15]

• Learn to quiet your inner critic to lessen the effect is has on your perspective and your mood. To quiet your inner critic, practice catching your unproductive thoughts as they come up, and be prepared with a productive counter-thought or mantra that focus on your strengths.
• If you think “There is nothing I can do, I am stuck” Test if that is true. Make a list of all your possible options. Change your inner critic to say “Although my options are not the best, I do have a choice, and I choose_________ because….”
• If you have a thought that pops into year head that triggers a worry, fear, or other anxiety symptoms, be sure to counter you inner critic with a reassuring statement or phrase such as “I know the likelihood of that happening is very low, so I have nothing to worry about” or “Everything is going to be ok, I am fine at this moment and this feeling will pass.”

Cope with painful memories. Many people are depressed or anxious because they are holding on to one or more traumatic experiences from the past, and they are going through a significant change, or have lost a loved one. While it is extremely difficult to erase these memories and go through these experiences, there are things you can do to reduce their prevalence in your everyday life.^[16]

• Grieve when you need to. If you feel the need to cry or scream, then do it. Catharsis is a necessary part of the healing process. You can even look for grief groups in your area for support through your time of grief. If you are grieving, remember that it is a normal process with many emotions involved. You may not feel like yourself some time. However, if you continue to feel symptoms of grief long after losing your loved one, you should contact a therapist or mental health professional.
• Write out what happened and how it made you feel. There are many feelings involved with traumatic events that often need to be expressed. Many times, traumatic events will get compartmentalized and any feelings associated with the event will get pushed aside. Instead of doing this, which can lead to anxiety and depression, write down exactly what happened in as vivid detail as possible. Write down what you felt and what you still feel about the event. This will help you cope and move on.

Get your thoughts out. When you are having issues with depression and anxiety or you are trying to get over past trauma, describe what happened and how it made you feel. You can do this by journaling or speaking with someone you trust. Getting it out is better than repressing it. Also, think about the contextual aspects of the traumatic event. Remembering other aspects of the day the event happened, such as the weather or who else was there, can help you dissolve some of the negative associations. You will never be alone. And talking to people is hard, but it can be very helpful. Tell your parents, friends, or someone you trust. Therapy can also help. Talking about it online is really not a good idea. Sometimes even talking to pets or stuffed animals can help calm you. They can't answer back, but it just helps to talk to them. Keeping a diary is also something that can help a lot.^[17] You can talk about your thoughts, but talking to a person is still very helpful.^[18]

• If you are dealing with memories of a traumatic past, it is essential that you seek professional help to deal with the painful emotions caused by trauma.

Cope with anxiety and depression at the moment. Anxiety can be a gripping experience and can make you feel as though you are losing control. There are some techniques you can try to get your body and mind to slow and calm. Depression symptoms have a wide range and differ depending on the type of depression you have. For some, they feel overwhelmingly sad while others feel nothing at all and just feel numb. Still, others can have sudden bouts of irritability.^[19]

Try progressive muscle relaxation. Progressive muscle relaxation is a method that helps to physically reduce the tension in your muscles, which signals the brain to begin calming down. In a serial fashion, contract, hold and then release muscle groups of the body. Work from head to toe, and be sure to focus on the sensations you feel when you release the contraction and feel your muscle tension-reducing.^[20]

• Beginning with your facial muscles, tighten the muscles for six seconds and then release for six seconds. Repeat this down your body with your neck, chest, arms, hands, legs, calves, and feet.^[21]

Practice diaphragm breathing. Controlled breathing, or diaphragm breathing, is another way to signal your body to begin relaxing and start to calm its stress response, which is often anxiety. Controlled breathing signals your brain to release neurotransmitters, which tells your body that it is no longer in danger and can calm down. Practice diaphragm breathing by taking a full breath making your abdomen expand, hold it, then release.^[22]

• The timing for this should be five seconds breathing in, hold for five seconds, and then breathe out for five seconds. Take two normal breaths, then repeat the timed, abdominal breathing until you feel your anxiety subside.^[23]

Distract yourself. Distraction is a short term technique that you can use when you are in a situation that may not be appropriate for depression or anxiety, such as at work. Some distraction examples include engaging in activities. If you are at work, talk to a co-worker about funny cat videos or organize the supply cabinet. If you are with your children or grandchildren at home and cannot deal with your emotion at that moment, take them for a walk or read a book together.^[24]

• You can also distract yourself with small activities. Try doing simple math in your head, grabbing a piece of paper, and folding it into multiple different shapes, splashing water on your face, or playing a word game. You can also do word or number puzzles like crosswords or Sudoku.
• For a quick distraction when you feel your emotions may overtake you, distract yourself with sensations, such as squeezing a rubber ball or holding onto an ice cube.

Find the right therapist for you. Do some research and meet with several different doctors before choosing one to stick with. During your first session, your doctor will ask you describe your symptoms, how long they have been present, and about your past. You might want to reflect on some of these questions before your first appointment so that you can organize your thoughts and clarify any information, if necessary.^[25]

See a psychiatrist. You may decide to see a psychiatrist, a doctor with a medical degree who is licensed to prescribe medication. Psychiatrists usually combine talk therapy and medical treatment, but not always.^[26] Several types of antidepressants are prescribed to treat anxiety as well. These medications types include SSRIs, SNRIs, and tricyclic antidepressants.

• There are several different types of medication within these categories, so it is best to speak with your physician or psychiatrist about which would be best for you.^[27]

Talk to a psychologist. You may also choose to see a psychologist, a doctor without a medical degree who focuses on talk and cognitive behavioral therapy. In most states of the U.S., psychologists are not licensed to prescribe medications. However, there are a few states in which psychologists can prescribe medication, including New Mexico, Louisiana, Illinois, Iowa, and Idaho.^[28]

• If you are under the age of eighteen, talk to your parents about your condition, if they aren't already aware of it, and ask them for help finding the right doctor.
• Some patients are open to the prospect of medications while others prefer to take the natural route. You should clarify your preferred method of treatment with your therapist upon meeting him or her so that you can determine whether or not it is the right fit. Remember that each doctor has his or her own preferred method of treatment.

Find another therapy provider. If you don't have access to a psychologist or psychiatrist, there are other professionals of mental help that can help you with your depression and anxiety. Look for psychiatric nurses, licensed clinical social workers, marriage and family therapists, and licensed professional counselors in your area. These individuals have training and education in mental health and can help you with your issues.^[29]

Always get a second opinion. In the realm of psychological illnesses, it is easy to misdiagnose or miss a secondary diagnosis. See more than one doctor for your condition, at least initially, especially if you have been written a prescription.^[30]

• Don't let your doctor force you into taking medications. If you prefer to go the all-natural route, then be vocal and let your doctor know. If he or she continues to insist on prescribing you a medication, you might want to consider seeing another doctor.
• If multiple doctors insist on prescribing you the same type of medication, you should consider giving it a try. Most medications can be discontinued after a year without any harmful side effects.

Put effort into your treatment. You can't pay a mental health professional to fix your problems. You will have to actively engage in your therapy sessions, and be honest and open with your doctor. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, which is a form of talk therapy, has been shown to be the most effective method of treatment for anxiety and depression but requires more commitment and cooperation from you than interpersonal therapy. Instead of just talking out your problems, cognitive behavioral therapy requires your active participation in order for it to work and for you to get better.^[31]

• Be open to trying new things and pushing past your comfort zone. Some doctors assign their patients with "exercises" to apply to their everyday life.

Allow medication time to work. Sometimes depression and anxiety are situational, such as a result of a big change. Other times, it is simply biological and the use of medication can help. If you have been prescribed a medication for your condition, then give it time to work before discontinuing use. It can also take some experimentation on your and your doctor's part in order to find the right medication and dosage for your particular situation. Just be patient and give it time.^[32]

• Most medications take four to eight weeks to show any effects, so be patient.^[33]