This article was co-authored by Brian Bourquin, DVM. Brian Bourquin, better known as “Dr. B” to his clients, is a Veterinarian and the Owner of Boston Veterinary Clinic, a pet health care and veterinary clinic with three locations, South End/Bay Village, the Seaport, and Brookline, Massachusetts. Boston Veterinary Clinic specializes in primary veterinary care, including wellness and preventative care, sick and emergency care, soft-tissue surgery, dentistry. The clinic also provides specialty services in behavior, nutrition, and alternative pain management therapies using acupuncture, and therapeutic laser treatments. Boston Veterinary Clinic is an AAHA (American Animal Hospital Association) accredited hospital and Boston’s first Fear Free Certified Clinic. Brian has over 19 years of veterinary experience and earned his Doctor of Veterinary Medicine from Cornell University.
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If you want a cat, it can be intimidating to ask your parents for permission. You may worry your parents will get mad or flat out say "No." However, if you do a little research, you may get a "Yes" answer. Read up on cats so you know how to care for them and ask in a calm, friendly fashion. Don't get discouraged if you get a "No" for now. Your parents may need time to think it over. If you accept their answer maturely, they may change their mind in the future, and you will be on the path to getting a furry friend!
Steps
Doing Your Background Research
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1Write down why your parents may say "No." Think about why your parents may not want you to get a cat. Extra cost and responsibility may be concerns. If you can find solutions to problems, you can get a "Yes" answer.[1]
- Parents may worry about a cat clawing at furniture or making messes.
- Your parents may also worry about cost. A new animal needs new toys, bedding, and so on.
- Your parents are likely very busy, so they may worry about caring for the animal. Pets need a lot of time and attention.
- One of them may be allergic to cats. Don't let this dissuade you, however; there are some hypoallergenic cats!
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2Jot down ways to address concerns. Be proactive and think of some solutions for potential issues. This way, if your parents raise concerns, you can quickly address their worries. Write these down right next to or right under your concerns, answering them. For example:[2]
- If your parents are worried about a cat harming furniture, suggest claw caps. They fit over a cat's claws, preventing it from scratching. Never declaw a cat.
- If your parents are worried about cost, offer to save up your allowance or get a job to pay for new supplies for your cat.
- If time is an issue, promise your parents you'll care for the cat yourself. Remind them that cats are independent animals and don't require as much attention as dogs.
- If one of your parents is allergic to cats, suggest hypoallergenic breeds, such as the Balinese, Bengal, Burmese, Cornish Rex, Siamese, Siberian, or Sphynx.[3]
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3Do some research on basic cat care. The more you know, the more impressed your parents will be. Research a cat's basic needs in terms of food, attention, and grooming. If your parents see you can care for a cat, they're more likely to let you have one.[4]
- Tell your parents you'll provide your cat with a clean bed and keep the litter box in your room or garage.
- Tell your parents you'll feed your cat healthy cat food, and even suggest a few brands you found while researching.
- Vet visits can get expensive. Offer to help pay for the visits, and mention that you are willing to find a job to help earn money.
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4Find concrete ways you can make time for a pet. Your parents want to make sure your cat is loved. Tell your parents exactly when you plan to spend time playing with and caring for your cat.[5]
- You can promise your parents you'll play with the cat every day after school for an hour after finishing your homework.
- Also, account for caring for the cat. Promise your parents you'll get up early in the mornings to do things like feed your cat and change its litter box.
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5Rehearse what you'll say ahead of time. Rehearsing never hurts. Try jotting down a rough idea of what you want to say and practicing in front of a mirror. You don't have to have everything thought out word-per-word, but a rough idea can help.
- Don't worry to bring notes with you. In fact, these may help your parents see just how much research you put into getting a cat!
Having a Conversation
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1Talk to your parents when they're not stressed. Choose a time when your parents are not busy or distracted. They should not have anywhere they need to be. For example, try talking on a Saturday afternoon when your parents are relaxing in the living room. You can wait for your birthday and ask for a pet as a gift. [6]
- Pay attention to the timing. For example, if you know that your parents are having a difficult time paying the bills, now might not be a good idea to ask for a cat.
- Alternatively, choose a time when a big occasion is coming up, such as your birthday or junior high graduation.
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2Introduce the topic directly. When you're ready to talk, it's important to be direct. Instead of dropping hints, calmly and maturely raise the issue of getting a cat. If you try to worm your way around the topic, your parents may get frustrated and lose their patience.[7]
- For example, say, "Guys, I wanted to talk to you about something. I've been thinking it over for awhile, and I would really like my own cat."
- Your parents' reaction may be an outright "No." If this happens, try: "I did a lot of research. I don't expect to change your mind, but please hear me out."
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3Show gratitude when asking. A little flattery goes a long way. You don't want to come off as entitled or spoiled, so show your parents you appreciate them when asking. This will show that you are considerate of all that you do for them, and that you don't expect anything or take anything for granted.
- For example, say, "I know how hard you guys work, and I really appreciate everything you do. If I had my own cat, I would make sure to take care of it so you don't have to."
- Don't suck up to your parents with too much flattery, however, or you will come off as insincere.
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4Bring up the ideas you thought of earlier. Remember the list of concerns and solutions you made? Before your parents can raise objections, let them know you've thought ahead. Tell them how a cat can safely fit into your household. Say something like:
- "I know we have a lot of expensive furniture, but I found this product called Soft Paws. They're plastic caps you put over a cat's claws. My friend's cat has them, and it never damages the furniture."
- "I understand that a cat will need food, toys, and other supplies. I have thought of ways to earn money for this, and have even looked for jobs!"
- "Cats are not like dogs, so they can be left alone all day. I will still take care of the cat each day by feeding it and playing with it, and I will clean the litter box."
- "I know that you are allergic to cats, but I found a few hypoallergenic cats, such as the Siberian. Maybe we could meet some of these breeds at a shelter and see how you react?"
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5Let your parents talk. Once you've stated your case, you need to give your parents a chance to respond. Try to genuinely understand their perspective and avoid interrupting or complaining, as this can cause your parents to become angry. Simply be quiet and listen to show your parents you're mature.[8]
- Your parents may not agree at first, which is fine. Give them time to think over this subject, especially if they say something like "Let me think about it."
- Pressing your parents for an immediate answer will more likely earn you a rejection. Be patient. Give them at least a few days to a week before asking again.
Dealing with a "No" Answer
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1Do not argue or whine. Your parents may say "No" or express hesitance. While you may want to argue, this is not the best solution. Arguing will only make things more tense and may make your parents angry. If your parents get angry, they're less likely to listen to you and consider your case.[9]
- It's not the end of the world if your parents say "No." Try to show them how responsible you are in the upcoming weeks. They may change their mind.
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2Offer to do something in return. Your parents may want to feel that you've earned your cat. If they express hesitance, try to offer something in return. The cat can be a reward for certain behaviors or achievements.
- For example, say something like, "What if I work really hard this semester and bring up my math grade? Maybe the cat can be a reward for that."
- You'll have better luck with choosing something that you struggle with. For example, if you get straight As in English at school, pick a different subject.
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3Offer to pay for some of the costs. Money is a major issue when it comes to new pets. If you offer to pay, your parents may agree to get a cat. You can offer to save your allowance or get a part time job.[10]
- For example, say something like, "I can save all my money from my after school job. That way, I can pay for new toys and a litter box."
- If you're applying for jobs, impress your parents by showing the applications that you've filled out. Even if you don't get the job, your parents will appreciate the effort.
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4Accept a "No" for now. Even if you ask maturely and calmly, your parents may still say "No." At this point, the best course of action is simply accepting the answer. If your parents see you can calmly accept a "No," they may change their minds in the future.[11]
- End the conversation on a good note. Say something like, "Well, I appreciate you guys listening anyway. Thanks for hearing me out."
- Accepting a "No" answer is a sign of maturity and may help you with future requests. If you keep pressing them or throw a tantrum, they'll be more likely to say "No."
Expert Q&A
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QuestionCan you train a cat?Brian Bourquin, DVMBrian Bourquin, better known as “Dr. B” to his clients, is a Veterinarian and the Owner of Boston Veterinary Clinic, a pet health care and veterinary clinic with three locations, South End/Bay Village, the Seaport, and Brookline, Massachusetts. Boston Veterinary Clinic specializes in primary veterinary care, including wellness and preventative care, sick and emergency care, soft-tissue surgery, dentistry. The clinic also provides specialty services in behavior, nutrition, and alternative pain management therapies using acupuncture, and therapeutic laser treatments. Boston Veterinary Clinic is an AAHA (American Animal Hospital Association) accredited hospital and Boston’s first Fear Free Certified Clinic. Brian has over 19 years of veterinary experience and earned his Doctor of Veterinary Medicine from Cornell University.
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References
- ↑ http://www.petful.com/misc/how-to-convince-your-parents-to-get-a-puppy-or-kitten/
- ↑ http://www.petful.com/misc/how-to-convince-your-parents-to-get-a-puppy-or-kitten/
- ↑ https://www.petmd.com/cat/wellness/evr_ct_hypoallergenic_cat_breeds
- ↑ https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/cat-care/general-cat-care
- ↑ http://www.petful.com/misc/how-to-convince-your-parents-to-get-a-puppy-or-kitten/
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html#
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html#
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html#
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html
- ↑ http://www.petful.com/misc/how-to-convince-your-parents-to-get-a-puppy-or-kitten/
- ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html
- ↑ Brian Bourquin, DVM. Veterinarian. Expert Interview. 31 January 2020.
About This Article
To convince your parents to get you a cat, start by doing some research on what it takes to care for a cat, in order to show them that you’re prepared and responsible. Then, approach your parents at a time when they are not stressed or busy, and ask them directly if they’ll let you have a cat. Explain your reasons for wanting a pet and let them know you’re prepared to take care of it. If they raise objections, hear them out and offer some solutions to their concerns. Finally, give them some time to think about it so they don’t feel pressured or angry. For advice on how to respond if your parents say, “no,” read on!