How to Combat Dysphoria While Bathing

Last Updated: January 15, 2023 Approved

Dysphoria: the discomfort trans and gender diverse people sometimes feel about their bodies, or other parts of their lives, not matching the gender they actually are. While never a good thing to have, it can be particularly difficult to deal with while trying to keep clean.

Steps

1
Bathe in dim lights. Using a dim light while showering, plugging in a bathroom nightlight, or attaching a wall light to a wall can help with dysphoria while you shower. Since it's in the middle of having the lights on and off, you can still see without it being too dark.
- Put the things that you need in a different corner of the shower before you dim the lights so you can find them easier.
2
Cover the mirror. If you feel discomfort at the sight of your body, covering the mirror can be a big help. Use a towel, sheet, shirt or (if possible) turn the mirror around. If the top of your mirror is clean, you could potentially use any of the bath towels in the room.

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3
Use a thick bath sponge. Thicker sponges provide a barrier between your hand and your body, preventing you from feeling what you are touching as much.
4
Bathe with parts of your clothes on. Leave underwear on, or a bra. Getting partly clean is much better than getting not clean at all.
5
Bathe in exercise clothes. They are thin and you can wash yourself through them. They can even act a bit like a washcloth, helping the soap to lather, although it may be harder to rinse out.
6
Play music. Play your favorite songs to distract yourself from your body and dysphoria. When pairing this with other methods, it can be a real life saver.
7
Get sweaty. Go for a long run, or work out hard enough that by the time you're done, you're mentally and physically exhausted. A quick shower may be easier to bear when you're thinking more about sore muscles and how smelly you are than anything else.
8
Treat yourself. Get some nice bath products, like body safe bubble bath soap, or nice smelling soap/shampoo, and make showering a time to make yourself happy. Find body safe products that you like, and use those. If you can look forward to bath time for a different reason, the dysphoria will be easier to deal with.
- Don't use bath bombs, as these can affect the pH balance of your vagina.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you know if you have gender dysphoria?

Inge Hansen, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Inge Hansen, PsyD, is the Director of Well-Being at Stanford University and the Weiland Health Initiative. Dr. Hansen has professional interests in social justice and gender and sexual diversity. She earned her PsyD from the California School of Professional Psychology with specialized training in the area of gender and sexual identity. She is the co-author of The Ethical Sellout: Maintaining Your Integrity in the Age of Compromise.

Inge Hansen, PsyD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

You likely have gender dysphoria if you notice persistent discomfort with multiple aspects of your assigned gender (not limited to aspects that are due to sexism or limited gender roles within a culture or community).
Question

What if my parents ask why the lights are off, or why there’s a towel on the mirror?

Community Answer

If they ask why the lights are off, tell them it's more relaxing that way. If they ask why there's a towel on the mirror, tell them you don't feel like wiping off the foggy stuff after your shower.
Question

Any tips for teenagers dealing with gender dysphoria, but needing to shower for school?

Community Answer

Talk to your guidance counselor about the fact that you don't want to shower in school. They might find a suitable solution for you.