How to Change Your Focus

Co-authored by Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: December 29, 2022 References

At some point in your life, you might feel like things aren't going the way you want. This probably means that it's time to change your perspective in order to change your life. While this sounds like a big task, it's really about adjusting your mindset to focus on what you hope to achieve. With a few small changes, you can do this!

1

Form an action-based perspective.

Look for ways to act and make change in your life. Instead of dwelling on things that you can't change or simply hoping that things will work out, make an action plan! Do things that move you toward your life goals. For example, if you ultimately want a different job, get training or take courses so you'll be qualified to switch careers.^{[1]
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- For instance, if you're interviewing for a job, don't simply hope that you'll get it. Go in with a confident mindset and call to follow up after the interview. Taking charge not only shows the interviewer that you're eager and interested; it also means you're taking control of your life.

2

Question your goals and direction.

Get yourself out of a rut by adjusting your mindset. If you feel like you're beating yourself over the head with the same thought processes, then it's time to ask yourself different questions! Try answering a few of these to help you shift your perspective:^{[2]
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- What do I want to accomplish?
- What’s my next best move?
- Is there anything I can do about this right now?
- What can I learn from this?
- What does a good outcome look like?

3

Ask yourself empowering questions.

Put yourself in control by reminding yourself of your options. It's easy to fall into negative thinking by asking yourself questions that disempower you. Instead of asking, "Why is this happening to me?" or "Why can't things go my way?" ask "What can I do to get the result that I want?" This puts you in control rather than being the victim.^{[3]
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- Sometimes, you won't be able to change things. In these situations, ask yourself how you can work with what you've got.

4

Think of all the things within your control.

Don't spend your time focusing on things you can't change.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.} If you feel anxious or stressed, it might be because you're focusing on things beyond your control. For a fresh perspective, think about all the things that you do have power over and put your energy toward those instead.^{[5]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- For example, if you're unemployed, you don't have control over the job market or the help wanted ads, but you can choose which jobs to apply for and you can polish your resume so you are a great candidate.
- Dealing with a personal issue? You may not be able to change a loved one's poor medical diagnosis, but you can choose to give them extra support and love.

5

Take control of your emotional state.

Recognize how you react to something and how it's making you feel. Sometimes, just stepping away from your immediate response and thinking about your state of mind can help you think clearly.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.} Instead of constantly reacting or overreacting, remind yourself that you decide how you feel.^{[7]
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- For example, if someone cancels on you at the last minute, instead of immediately getting irritated or angry, pause for a moment. Consider your initial emotion, but then think about how you'd like to feel. You might get calm by reminding yourself that it's out of your control or that you'll just have to be flexible with your plans.
- Ever noticed how if you're having a bad day, nothing seems to go right? Work on recognizing your frustration so you don't bring that anger to other interactions during the day. Remember to be compassionate with yourself.^{[8]
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  Expert Source
  
  Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.}

6

Foster a positive outlook.

Look for the good in everyday situations to problem-solve. Many people also feel happier when they retrain their minds to notice the good. With a little practice, you can start noticing more and more things to be happy about, while you focus less on the problems or things you can't control.^{[9]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- You might read positive self-help books or spend a few minutes every day thinking about things that went well.

7

Catch your limiting beliefs.

Start becoming aware of your negative thoughts. We often get stuck thinking in patterns that hurt us by telling us we can’t do something or we don’t deserve what we want. To change your focus and perspective, look out for these key words:^{[10]
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- “Always/never:” Thinking in absolutes can lead to inflexible thinking.
- “Everyone/no one:” Grouping other people together doesn’t reflect reality.
- “I can’t:” Don’t assume you can’t do something until you’ve tried on your own, tried with support from others, and tried again!

8

Start practicing reflection in your life.

Journal or take up mindfulness practices like yoga. Engage in activities that encourage you to self-reflect on a regular basis. A practice like journaling can help you take inventory of your thoughts, fears, and dreams. When you’re better in-touch with yourself, you’ll be able to project that inner focus and vision outwards to shape the life you want.^{[11]
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University of Rochester Medical Center
Leading academic medical center in the U.S. focused on clinical care and research
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- Give yourself prompts: “How am I feeling today? Is there anything on my mind?”^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.}
- Use your journal to check in on goals: “How can I solve this problem? What do I need in order to reach my goals?”

9

Visualize your ideal life outcomes.

Use all five senses to prep your body and mind to go after your goals. Studies of athletes show that when we imagine taking action, part of our brain activates as if we were actually doing that action in real life. Think of visualization as practice for chasing your goals.^{[13]
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PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source} Visualizing goals can even strengthen your commitment and effort to achieve them.^{[14]
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- If your ideal life goals feel too big to visualize, try and break them down into smaller steps. For instance, imagine what it would feel like to submit a new job application.
- Imagine the environment you want to be in, how your body will feel, and how you’ll feel emotionally.^{[15]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}

10

Challenge your brain to adapt so you're more resilient.

Be open to criticism and learning. People who are flexible in their thinking don't take feedback personally. Think of criticism or feedback as a way to become a stronger person. By making changes in your everyday life, your brain can become stronger and less fixed.^{[16]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
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- For example, if someone gives you feedback at work, instead of shutting them down and dismissing their concerns, thank them for the suggestions and implement them. Your work will be stronger and it will show that you're open to learning.

11

Cut back on technological stimulation.

Spark new ideas and creativity by limiting screen time. If it seems like your mind jumps from distraction to distraction, it might be because your brain is trained to seek out stimulation. Take a technological break for a few days and pay attention to the things you think about. You might feel more curious or aware of your surroundings. You might even feel more creative or interested in what's around you. Try a few of these techniques to get you started:^{[17]
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- Schedule time where you don't use screens
- Turn off email and social media notifications
- Put your phone away so you're not checking it
- Log out of your social media sites

12

Give yourself a mental break.

Let your brain have time to wander so you spark creativity or curiosity. You might feel like you're stuck thinking the same things over and over again or you might be struggling to find a solution to a problem. To get a different perspective, take a mental break and do something completely unrelated.^{[18]
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Expert Source

Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.} You may find that you suddenly have a great idea or a new way to think about your project.^{[19]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- For example, if you're trying to outline a paper and you're coming up with the same uninspiring points, go for a short walk, make yourself a cup of coffee, or stretch in your office. Let your mind wander for a few minutes so you can come back to the paper with a new perspective.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I change my focus quickly?

Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Carolyn Rubenstein is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Florida. She specializes in working with adults on anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout. She is also the Chief Wellness Adviser for global esports organization Misfits Gaming Group. Dr. Rubenstein holds a BA in Psychology from Duke University, an MA in Psychology from Harvard University, and a PhD in Counseling Psychology from The University of Miami. She also has a Certification in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing through the EMDRIA (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing International Association).

Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Be realist and don't expect yourself to change focus instantaneously, especially if you're going from hanging out with your children to an executive meeting. Take five deep breaths and try to mentally shut off, turning your attention to what's right in front of you.
Question

What to do when you need to study but can't focus?

Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Carolyn Rubenstein is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Florida. She specializes in working with adults on anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout. She is also the Chief Wellness Adviser for global esports organization Misfits Gaming Group. Dr. Rubenstein holds a BA in Psychology from Duke University, an MA in Psychology from Harvard University, and a PhD in Counseling Psychology from The University of Miami. She also has a Certification in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing through the EMDRIA (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing International Association).

Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Try building a transition between what you were doing and the study, especially when you want to focus on things that are highly analytical. You have to king of switch gears, calming down your nervous system and resetting before actually focusing on the task at hand.