How to Calm Yourself Down when You're Nervous

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: March 20, 2022 References Approved

Being nervous is never fun or easy. You may feel your heart beating fast, your palms might sweat or feel clammy, and you may even feel a little bit shaky and out of control. All you need to do to calm yourself down is to remember that everyone gets nervous from time to time and that you’re ultimately in control of your mind and body. If you have the right attitude and have some tricks to help calm you, you’ll be able to get rid of those jitters in no time at all.

Part 1

Part 1 of 5:

Taking Action When You’re Nervous

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Focus on your breathing. Sometimes, all you need to do to calm down a bit is to focus on the breath rising and falling from your body. Just stop what you’re doing and work on breathing in and breathing out deeply, and letting yourself take long, careful breaths instead of taking the shorter breaths people tend to take when they’re nervous. Focusing on this can help you feel more calm and centered pretty quickly.^{[1]
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- Another trick you can try if you’re feeling nervous is to inhale through your nose and push the air out through your mouth slowly. Repeating this ten times can make you feel more calm and centered.
2
Distract yourself. Though you can’t ignore your fears or worries forever, if you feel like there’s nothing you can do to address it except to worry more, then you may just want to take your mind off of it for a little while. Do something that you think will help you forget your worries and feel more at ease, such as:^{[2]
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- Reading
- Dancing
- Singing
- Getting absorbed in your favorite TV show.
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3
Sit in a dark room for one minute. When you’re nervous, sometimes it’s because you’re experiencing sensory overload or are just feeling overwhelmed in general. Going into a dark room can help you feel more calm and in control — think of it as an exaggerated version of closing your eyes. The next time you’re feeling nervous, excuse yourself and step into a different room where you can turn out the lights. Concentrate on sitting still and focusing on your breath, and you will begin to feel more in control.
4
Count backwards from 50. If you just focus on the numbers and nothing else, repeating one slowly after another, then you’ll find your breathing returning to normal and will soon begin to relax a bit more. If you’re in public, you can also just count the numbers in your head. If this doesn’t quite do the trick, you can count back up from one to 50 after you count down to one, so you have more time to calm down.^{[3]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 5:

Getting Out the Nervous Energy

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Squeeze a squishy ball. If you’re in the habit of getting nervous a lot, carry around a squishy ball. When you get nervous, you can squeeze it tightly and then let go several times to help get out some of that nervous energy. This can help you calm down and feel like you have a place where you can release all of that tension. You can keep this ball on your desk, in your bag, or even in your pocket.
2
Relax your body one part at a time. Releasing the tension in your physical body can make you feel less nervous. Just stand still, close your eyes, and feel the tension in your body before deciding to let it go. Then, take deep breaths as you relax your arms, your legs, your torso, your neck, your hands, your feet, your back, and any other part of your body where you feel tension.^{[4]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
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3
Walk off nervous energy. Walking for just 10 minutes can help you significantly improve your state of mind. Studies have shown that walking can activate nerve cells in your brain that relax the senses.^{[5]
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Research source} You may be wary of doing any physical activity before an event you are nervous about, but taking a 10 minute walk even an hour before the event can help you feel more at ease.
4
Do exercises like yoga and pilates. Studies show that exercising not only makes you feel happier and healthier, but that it can also help calm your nerves. Getting your body moving can help you get rid of some of that nervous energy and can make you feel more balanced as you go on throughout your day. Just 30 minutes of exercise every day can make a big impact on the way you view your life and how you handle social interactions.^{[6]
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National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK
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5
Meditate. Making a habit of ten minutes of daily meditation can help you work on calming your nerves and being a less excitable person. It can help you quiet your mind and body and feel in control of your day. In order to meditate, all you have to do is find a quiet place, take a seat, and work on relaxing your body one part at a time as the breath rises and falls out of your body. Focus on the stillness of your body and try to gently push away any thoughts out of your head.
- Meditating right before a stressful event can also help calm you down.

Part 3

Part 3 of 5:

Dealing with Nervousness About Future Events

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Feel prepared for whatever you’re nervous about. It could be a breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend, a class presentation, or a job interview. Now, it’s one thing to be prepared — to study, to practice, to know whatever you have to say inside and out — but another to feel confident and self-assured when you walk into the room. Work on telling yourself that you do know exactly what you have to do, and that you’re capable of achieving it. Remind yourself of all the hard work you put into this day and that you deserve to succeed.^{[7]
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2
Be prepared. Feeling prepared is important, but so is actually being prepared. If you want to minimize nervousness, then you have to feel on top of your game. You can’t show up feeling like you’ve forgotten your notes, don’t remember your lines, or forgot whatever you had to say to your friend or boyfriend/girlfriend. Make sure you practice what you have to say and that you have background knowledge for answering any questions, so you’re not just reciting a speech but really showing an understanding of the topic.
3
Know what to expect. Another way to be less nervous about a situation is to know as much as you can about it before you get there. Though you will always find some surprises and won’t always know what to expect, you can work on gleaning as much information as possible about the event so that you feel as in control as you can. Here are some ways that you can help yourself know what to expect in order to feel less nervous:^{[8]
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- If you’re going on a date, check out the spot a day before so you have a better sense of what it looks like, how people are dressed, and anything else you may need to know to feel comfortable. You can even check out what’s on the menu so you don’t have to worry about what you’ll order.
- If you’re giving a presentation in a place you’ve never been to before, then see if you can go there a few days in advance to get a lay of the land. This can help you see how much space you have to move around, where you can place any relevant material for the presentation, and how much you’ll have to project your voice.
- If you’re giving a presentation in one of your classrooms, practice standing facing the desks before or after class to get a sense of how it will feel. You may be surprised by how different it feels to face the room from the other side. You’ll see how hard it is for your teacher!
4
Put your worries into perspective. It’s important to remember that even if you fail a big test, it's okay and won't ruin your life forever. Or if you would be asking your long-time crush out and he or she rejects you, you will get over it eventually. Sit down with a friend, write in your journal, or just sit and think about all of the things you’re afraid of. Tackling your fears logically can help you realize that you have nothing to be nervous about. Ask yourself "What's the worst that could happen?" If you're rejected or failed a big test or you stuff up a presentation, it's not the end of the world. There are plenty of opportunities left in your life. Use this one as a learning experience.
5
Focus on the positive results you’ve had in the past. Focusing on what you have achieved can help to reassure you that you'll continue to achieve good things. When you’re giving a class presentation or speech, think about previous times you’ve given presentations without a hitch. If you haven’t done these things in the past, practice in front of a few friends or relatives and remind yourself of how easy that was when the big day arrives.^{[9]
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- If you’re nervous about going on a date or embarking on a romantic situation, then think about how much you’ve liked hanging out with the person in the past. Also, there’s nothing wrong with being nervous — it’s a natural reaction if you like someone!

Part 4

Part 4 of 5:

Thinking Positively

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Use positive affirmations. Positive affirmations can help you look at your life in a more positive light and can ease your nervousness about upcoming events. Simply thinking positive thoughts about yourself and saying them aloud can help you be a less nervous, more grounded person. They can be especially useful before you have to do something important, or right when you start feeling nervous. If you get in the habit of using them daily, you’ll be living a more calm lifestyle.^{[10]
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- Before you do something you’re nervous about, just say, “I’m prepared and worthy. I’m going to do a great job,” or “I’m going to be great and there’s nothing to worry about.”
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Use positive visualization. Close your eyes and try to imagine whatever it is you’re nervous about. Picture yourself walking into that room and doing your best, and having everyone around you responding positively. Picture yourself feeling calm and at peace. Open your eyes when you’re ready, and try to let this image sink in with you, as if it were a treasured memory. This may feel a bit silly, but it’s a great way of “tricking” yourself into being calmer.^{[11]
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- If you’re nervous about something you have to do first thing in the morning, then you should practice positive visualization right before you fall asleep, so your success is one of the last things on your mind.^{[12]
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3
Build up your confidence. Being more confident and secure in yourself can help you feel less nervous about any problems that come your way. If you take efforts to project confidence by standing taller, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, and feeling more sure about your decisions, you’ll be on your way to feeling more confident and being calmer in the process.^{[13]
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Part 5

Part 5 of 5:

Letting Your Feelings Out

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Let the emotions out. Sometimes there’s nothing more therapeutic than giving in to your heightened emotions for a while. Have a nice cry if you feel really tense and think it would help dispel your nervousness. When you are finished crying, wipe your eyes, pull yourself together and get on with what needs to be done. If you’re really stressed or nervous, then getting rid of those nervous or intense feelings can actually help you cleanse your mind and body and to be prepared to face the day.
2
Write it out. Another thing you can do to help yourself be less nervous regularly is to get into the habit of writing in a journal. You can write about your daily life or just focus on the things that are making you nervous. If you write about the things you’re worried about, then it can help you gain a sense of control or perspective about them, and will lead you to think more rationally instead of purely with your emotions. If you write in your journal at least a few times a week, it may help you feel more calm and centered.^{[14]
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- Writing about why you're nervous and what you can do to overcome the nervousness and to get you through the moment can be beneficial.
3
Talk to someone about your nervousness. Chat with your therapist, family member, trusted friend, or significant other. Maybe they can come up with some ideas to stop your nervousness. What’s more, just opening up about your worries can make you feel better and relieved of some of those fears. Instead of keeping it all inside, make an effort to talk to people about how you’re feeling and being honest about your feelings.^{[15]
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