How to Buy Your Daughter's First Bra

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: August 23, 2022 References Approved

Getting a first bra can bring mixed emotions for you and your daughter. Most girls get their first bras because their breasts are budding or other girls their age are wearing them. Talk to your daughter about getting her first bra and the reasons for doing it, which can help start the process of getting her first bra. You can buy your daughter’s first bra by noticing breast development, keeping your daughter’s emotions in mind, and getting the right fit and form.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Getting the Bra

1
Remind your daughter that breasts come in different shapes. Talk to your daughter about the kind of bra she would like. If she is confused, let her know what might best work with her size and shape. Let your daughter know that every body is different, which may also help her better accept her changing shape.^{[1]
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- Explain to your daughter that every person’s breasts are different and that she may even need something different than you. Tell her that each of her own breasts may differ in size and shape and that this is normal.
2
Purchase the bra online if your daughter is shy. Acknowledge if your daughter is shy by ordering a few different bras online with her. Let her try them on at home so she can make a final decision. Giving your daughter control of the atmosphere where she gets her bra can ease this exciting and scary time.^{[2]
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3
Have a fun girls' day of bra shopping. Turn getting your daughter’s first bra into a fun day for just the two of you. Limit the participants to just the two of you to maintain her privacy and let her know she is the star of the day. Making bra shopping fun can help your daughter feel more comfortable with the changes happening to her body.^{[3]
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4
Get a professional fitting. Find a local store that has a dedicated lingerie department or that sells only bras. Ask a member of the staff to take your daughter’s measurements. Ensuring that your daughter has a proper fitting bra can keep her comfortable and even stylish when she wears her first bra.^{[4]
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- Ask your daughter well before you start shopping if she is comfortable with a fitting. Only schedule it if she is comfortable. For example, “Molly, a lady named Mrs. Caldicott does professional bra fittings. She’s worked with me and lots of other girls your age. She's usually got ideas about fun and pretty bras. Is this something that you might want to do?"
5
Select different bra choices. Let your daughter know that she has a lot of options of bra styles. For younger girls, a bra might include sports bras, bralettes, or unlined bras with shaped cups. Ask your daughter to pick out a few different bras she likes in her size. Then let her try them on to see which she likes best.^{[5]
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- Try not rejecting bra choices immediately. Remember that your daughter is growing and exploring herself and the red lace bralette may be what other girls are wearing.
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Decide on a type of bra together. Ask your daughter which bras she likes best and why. Purchase her one or two choices that you can both agree on.^{[6]
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- For example, “So you like this black lace bralette and this bright pink sports bra, right, Charlotte? What do you like about them? Do you think it might be more practical to get a cream or white lace bralette that you can wear with everything?” or “Why don’t we get a bra with padding in a couple of months? Then you can get used to wearing another layer under your clothes.”

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Noticing Breast Development

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Check for breast buds. Observe your daughter’s chest area when she’s 9 or 10, which is often when girls start thelarche, or developing breasts. Ask your daughter if she’s felt nickel-sized lumps under each breast called “breast buds” or noticed any pain or tenderness in her chest.^{[7]
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- Bring up breast buds with your daughter gently and constructively. For example, “Hey Kate, Mrs. Allum mentioned that Devon is getting breasts. You know it’s completely normal if you have or haven’t yet. You might feel little lumps on your chest called breast buds. They don’t hurt and just mean you’re getting your breasts, too. You can ask me questions any time you have them. I’ll keep it between us.”
- Be aware that each breast bud can develop at different rates, which is completely normal.^{[8]
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Look for other signs of puberty. Girls usually start puberty between the ages of 8 and 13. Recognizing signs your daughter is going through puberty can indicate that she may be ready to buy her first bra.^{[9]
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- Changes in body shape.
- Development of body hair.
- Changing behaviors and emotions.
3
Talk to your daughter’s doctor. If you don’t notice any signs of breast development or your daughter is shy, schedule an appointment with her doctor. Allow your daughter to talk to doctor by herself. They can then call or meet with you to discuss her development. Ask if they think your daughter needs a bra and how to broach it with her.^{[11]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Being Sensitive to Your Daughter's Needs

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Ask your daughter if she wants a bra. Chat with your daughter when just the two of you are together. Bring up getting a bra by asking questions not directed at her. Having an easygoing and open chat can let you know if your daughter is comfortable with getting her first bra.^{[12]
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- For example, “Emmeline, I noticed that Liv was wearing a sports bra at practice the other day. Is that something you’re interested in?” Your daughter’s answer can clue you in to if she’s ready for a bra.
2
Answer your daughter’s questions honestly. Let your daughter know she can ask any question about her changing body. Be honest about issues of breast health and if she needs to wear a bra. Being open to discussion about breast development with your daughter can make it easier to buy her first bra.^{[13]
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- Answer questions simply as possible. Avoid using big words like “thelarche,” “mammogram,” or “breast tissue.” Instead, say, “You can start developing breasts until your 14, Sam. Your boobs can grow and shrink with age, weight, and if you ever have a baby.”
- Be honest if you don’t know the answers to questions. For example, “I’m so sorry Isabel, I don’t know the answer to that question. Why don’t we call Dr. Martina and find out? Do you have any other hard questions about your breasts?”
3
Consider peer pressure. Notice if your daughter’s friends are wearing bras, which may be a source of peer pressure for her. Take your daughter’s wish for a bra into consideration based on physical and emotional factors. It can be pretty traumatizing for a young girl to not wear a bra when her friends are.^{[14]
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- Keep in mind that your daughter may want to look like her friends when she is changing in gym class or sleepovers.
4
Allow your daughter to make her own decision. After you’ve discussed the pros and cons of getting a bra, let you daughter know she can make the final decision. Support her in any decision and help her find a suitable bra she likes. Giving your daughter the decision can give her a measure of control over her body during an exciting and scary time.^{[15]
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- For example, “Hey Josephine, the decision is up to you. We can make a fun day of it and get you your first bra. But if you want to wait, that’s totally ok, too. Just let me know whenever you’re ready.”
5
Respect your daughter’s privacy. Avoid telling family and friends that your daughter is getting a bra. She may feel embarrassed if other people know she’s developing. It also lets her know that she can trust you if she has questions about her body. ^{[16]
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Community Q&A

Question

I'm too scared to ask my mom if I need one or not. I've been wearing training bras, but it makes my boobs have a weird shape. I already have body image issues and I don't want to embarrass myself even more. What do I do?

Community Answer

Calm yourself down, and find a moment when you and your mom are alone to talk about this. Just say, "Mom, I think I might need to get a real bra at this point," or something like that. There's nothing to be scared of; every woman, including your mother, has had to go through this.
Question

What if my daughter keeps asking me for one and she's not ready?

Community Answer

You might want to sit down with your daughter, and talk with her about why she wants a bra. You can also consider letting her wear a training bra or a sports bra. If her body is not developed at all, consider letting her wear a tank top or camisole instead.
Question

How many bras should I buy for my first time?

Community Answer

If you find a bra that fits nicely, you might want to buy two or three in different colors.