How to Become a Southern Belle

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: March 8, 2022

A Southern Belle is a title that traditionally refers to a woman who has been presented into a society through a debutante ball or a cotillion. The term is more commonly used to describe a woman who embodies a certain attitude, appearance, and set of manners typically associated with southern white ladies. Even today, there are many elegant and aesthetic ladies who continue to love Southern Belle and their style. You don't have to be a debutante to be a Southern Belle. If you believe you are a southern belle at heart, then keep up the appearance befitting a Southern Belle. Focus on exuding warmth, grace, and femininity in your daily dress, speech, and behavior. Be kind and hospitable, and you'll surely be recognized as a southern belle.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Practicing Good Manners

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Learn good table manners. Regardless of whether you are being hosted by friends, family, or someone you don't know, a southern belle is always polite at the table. Remember to put your napkin in your lap and keep your elbows off the table!
2
Be polite when you address other people. Say “please” and “thank you” frequently, and be sure to say “excuse me” or “pardon me” whenever you make a mistake. These little phrases are the cornerstones of good manners.

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3
Maintain perfect posture. To look like a proper southern belle, you must learn to sit up straight, and hold your head up high. Remember to keep your shoulders back and your chest up.^{[1]
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4
Respect your elders. All older people should be regarded as “sir” or “ma'am” unless they tell you otherwise. You should also get into the habit of doing favors for your mama. Clean the house, or offer to run some errands to make her life a little easier!
5
Be sweet and friendly to everybody. Part of the southern charm comes from being warm and kind at all times. Extend a “Hello!” or “How do you do?” to everyone you meet, and try to exude a down-to-earth attitude. If you don't care for someone, keep it to yourself!
6
Receive compliments with grace. If somebody pays you a compliment, it is appropriate to smile, say “Thank you,” and compliment that person in return. This banter is customary amongst southern belles.
7
Avoid excessive drink. While it's perfectly fine to have a cocktail or two at social gatherings, a southern belle should never be so drunk that she loses control of herself and her manners. Keep the alcohol to a minimum in order to best maintain your lovely composure.
8
Be a gracious guest. If you socialize with other southern belles, chances are, you'll be on the receiving end of their southern hospitality. Show your gratitude by being the perfect guest. Send back the RSVP as soon as possible, and arrive with a gift for the hostess, such as flowers, nice soaps, or a bottle of wine or brown liquor. Be sure to send a thank you note after the event!^{[2]
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9
Offer your help to friends and neighbors during tough times. Your manners and hospitality should extend past social functions as well. If someone in your community is sick, or has recently lost a family member, help them out by bringing them food, offering to help maintain their homes, or giving rides to their children. A southern belle will always pitch in to support their community.^{[3]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Speaking Like a Belle

1
Use southern slang and expressions. You'll want to familiarize yourself with some southern speech mannerisms so that you'll know what people are talking about. Try to incorporate some of these phrases into your vocabulary as well.^{[4]
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- “Taters” - as in sweet 'taters, mashed 'taters, etc - refers to potatoes.
- “Light'nin bugs” are fireflies.
- “Y'all” is a standard contraction for “you all.”
- “Amen!” is frequently used to express agreement.
- “I reckon” is a common substitute for “I guess” or “I suppose.”
2
Use pet names. Terms of endearment, such as sweetie, darlin', sugar, and honey, are commonly used by southern belles. While you should never use pet names to refer to your elders, these terms are great for friends, acquaintances, and children.^{[5]
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3
Call your parents Mama and Daddy. No matter how old you get, a real southern belle will always refer to her folks as Mama and Daddy. Calling your parents anything else will make you stick out like a sore thumb!^{[6]
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Avoid using swear words. Swearing is considered both rude and incredibly tacky amongst southern belles. If you must, incorporate alternative, G-rated curse words into your vocabulary, such as “shoot,” “darn,” and “fudge.”^{[7]
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Never talk about the bathroom. Like swear words, all bathroom talk is considered rude and tacky. If you need to use the restroom, simply excuse yourself from the conversation, and if you must, refer to the bathroom as “the powder room.”

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Looking Like a Belle

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Wear dresses, heels, and pearls. Southern belles always look feminine and put together, so you will need to invest in these basic wardrobe staples. Look for dresses in pastel colors and preppy prints. Find heels in wedge or mule styles for the day, and look for pumps or sling-backs for evening attire. A classy string of pearls adds a great finishing touch to any outfit.
2
Cover your cleavage during the day. It's important to dress modestly for afternoon functions, which means you should cover your chest area. For evening or nighttime events, it's fine to show a bit of skin, so wearing clothes that reveal 1–2 inches (2.5–5.1 cm) of cleavage will be considered acceptable.^{[8]
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Wear red lipstick. This is a classic southern look that will finish off your look. Red lipstick is appropriate for all functions, day or night.^{[9]
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Style your hair whenever you go out. Be sure to brush your hair, and style it with a curling or straightening iron before you leave the house. Use hairspray as a finishing touch to ensure that every hair stays in place.^{[10]
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- The classic southern expression, “the bigger the better,” applies to hair as well. Try to incorporate some volume into your hair!
5
Maintain a clean and clear complexion. Wash and moisturize your skin on a regular basis, and use lemon juice to zap pimples in a pinch. While it's fine to wear some foundation, be sure not to cake it on, and always remove your makeup before you go to bed.^{[11]
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Protect your skin from the sun. Try to avoid sunburn and wear a hat on bright summer days to protect your skin from the sun and maintain the whiteness of your skin. Tanned, dark skin is not befitting for Southern Belle. Always wear sunscreen with SPF 30 or above if you are spending time outdoors.^{[12]
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Practice great hygiene. This goes beyond bathing every day; the smaller details will help solidify your appearance as a southern belle. Great hygiene includes keeping your nails well-groomed and polished, wearing perfume, flossing your teeth, and never forgetting to shave your legs or underarms (even in the winter).
8
Never wear white shoes after Easter and before Labor Day. This is considered tacky. The only exception would be if you're getting married during this window of time - then you may wear white shoes. Otherwise, save your white shoes for summertime only.^{[13]
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9
Remember to smile! When you're in public, keep a smile on your face. This will help you look warm, friendly, and kind - a look all southern belles should aspire to have!

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Hosting Events

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Make sweet tea. Sweet tea is a traditional southern drink, made with lemon and lots of sugar. Whenever you are hosting people, be sure to make a large batch of sweet iced tea to share around. This will be expected of you as a host.^{[14]
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- For extra points, serve your guests sweet tea in mason jars.
2
Serve brown liquor. If you host a gathering, offer your guests some whiskey or bourbon. These liquors are expected at southern gatherings.^{[15]
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3
Cook grits. Grits is another classic southern food that can be served for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Regardless of whether you serve smooth grits, cheesy grits, or grits with shrimp, if you cook them well, no one will complain!^{[16]
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4
Learn to make some killer greens. Southern people love cooked greens of all kinds, including collard greens, green beans, and chard. Traditionally, southern belles will prepare greens by boiling them until they are tender with ham hock and chicken bouillon.^{[17]
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Prepare more than enough food. If you're hosting people, you will want to guarantee that you have more than enough food to go around. This means overcooking by a long shot: if you're hosting a small party, prepare enough food for a small army! Make sure that nobody leaves hungry.^{[18]
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Set the table. Whenever you're having people over, be sure to make proper place settings for your company. If you have inherited any nice china or silver from your mama or granny, now is the time to use them! Remember to include the proper silverware for each course of the meal.^{[19]
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Community Q&A

Question

Is Harry Styles a Southern belle?

Community Answer

No. Harry Styles is British.
Question

What if my friend does not do any of this and she calls herself a southern belle?

Community Answer

You should show her this article! Everyone is different and entitled to their own opinions about their identity. Your friend might also be making a joke or being sarcastic.
Question

Why is it still acceptable to tell women to act like Southern Belles?

Community Answer

This article is for someone who wants know about traditional southern belles. That could be for many reasons including an acting role, a character they're writing about, or just as a topic of interest.