How to Become Popular in School

Co-authored by Katie Styzek

Last Updated: January 9, 2023 References

Many people aspire to achieve popularity. Popularity is not synonymous with being fake, judgmental, and exclusive. Rather, popular individuals are admired and respected. You can become popular by being true to yourself, inclusive of others, and involved in your community.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

How to Be Yourself

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Evaluate why you want to become popular. Before you dedicate your time, effort, and resources to becoming cool, take a moment to evaluate your desire to be popular.
- Are you searching for acceptance? Are you looking for attention? Are you trying to rebel or reinvent yourself?
- Even if you try really hard to be well-liked—you do everything perfectly—you may never become popular in society’s eyes. What will happen if you don’t become popular? How can you cope with failing to fulfill this desire? What other outlets could you explore as you try to discover your authentic self?^{[1]
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2
Be true to yourself. In order to become popular, you do not conform to societal norms or completely reinvent yourself. Strive to develop into the best version of yourself—the most compassionate, spunky, authentic you. As you become self aware, your confidence will grow. You will become more adventurous, passionate, and interesting. Your social anxiety will decrease and people will be more drawn to you.
- Discover what you believe in and who you are independently from others.
- Don’t alter your personality to fit in or to try to get people to like you.^{[2]
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3
Stand up for your beliefs. Never compromise your personal beliefs and opinions in exchange for popularity.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.} Instead, openly embrace what you believe in and love. Follow the fashion trends that you like, and not because you saw a celebrity wear it. If you want to, start new trends, instead of following old ones.^{[4]
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4
Remain humble. Never underestimate the power of humility. People that take themselves too seriously are difficult to be around—lighten up and live a little! Likewise, it is not attractive to brag about your accomplishments, money, or things— wait for others congratulate or compliment you. When they do, accept the compliment.
- When you make a mistake or a social faux pas, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
- When you accomplish something incredible or do something wonderful for another person, don’t broadcast your achievement.
- When you get a new outfit or item, don’t rub it in others’ faces.^{[5]
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5
Care about your appearance. Taking pride in your appearance is one of the simplest ways to improve your social prospects and alter the way people think about you. You do not have to wear expensive or trendy clothes to become popular. Instead, aim to look presentable at all times—put thought into your outfits, hairstyles, and personal hygiene. Experiment with developing your own eclectic sense of style. Make sure that your following the school dress code though, you don't want to get in trouble and embarrass yourself while trying to be popular. ^{[6]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

How to Be Inclusive

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Expand your social circle. While popular people are not always liked by everyone, they are known by everyone. In order to increase your popularity, you need to broaden your social circle. Go out of your way to meet and hang out with new people and join new clubs at school. ^{[7]
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- Smile and say “Hi” to everyone you meet.
- Invite someone to have lunch with you.^{[8]
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  Katie Styzek
  Professional School Counselor
  Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.}
2
Avoid judging and bullying others. As you strive to become popular, don’t tear others down in the process.Remember, a kind, compassionate person wins over more friends than a nasty, unconfident person. Never judge people, but always jump to their defense. Don’t bully others, but befriend them. Plus, you don't want "friends" that are only friends with you because their afraid you'll bully them. ^{[9]
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- Be kind to people outside your group. Being a clique that despises outsiders will not earn you many friends beyond the group. Instead, work to earn the respect and friendship of outsiders.
3
Support and help others. Helping others accomplish their goals and reveling in their success, is an excellent way to develop a positive reputation. Set aside your desire for attention or your need to be the best. Instead, encourage and assist those around you as they strive to succeed. Your compassion will surprise and delight others.^{[10]
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- Offer to help someone with their homework or a project.
- Stay after practice to workout with a teammate.
- Congratulate others on their accomplishments.
4
Address and cope with people that dislike you. Bullies, haters, negative and unkind people will always be present in your life whether you are popular or an outcast. You may know these individuals or they may be complete strangers to you. In order to lead a healthy life and live as the most authentic you—even if you never become popular—it is important that you address and cope with people that dislike you.
- Remove toxic people from your environment. Stop spending time with that negative friend that always belittles you.
- Stand up for yourself.^{[11]
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  Katie Styzek
  Professional School Counselor
  Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.} Let this person know that you do not appreciate and will no longer tolerate their negative treatment of you.
- Don’t take it personally. Bullying is not a reflection on you, but a self-reflection on the bully. You are not the problem; they are the problem.
- Keep in mind that you should be friends with someone because they are kind and funny, not because they are really popular.^{[12]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

How to Become More Involved

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Say “Yes” to trying new things. Exposing yourself to new experiences and adventures is an excellent way to develop self-confidence and meet new people. When someone asks you to try something new, don’t be afraid to say “yes.” Set aside any anxiety or doubts and immerse yourself in the opportunity to expand your horizons. Although, don't say yes to things that can harm you or affect you negatively. You may discover a new hobby or develop a new friendship along the way!^{[13]
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- Try new restaurants, it might be your new favourite!
- Sign up for an art class or work-out class.
- Learn how to play a new instrument.
2
Attend events and parties. Going to sporting events and parties are excellent ways to expand your social circle and increase your popularity. These events provide you with a chance to interact with others in a more relaxed and intimate environment.
- Mix and mingle with new people at a tailgate.
- Get to know your co-workers at a holiday party.
3
Join a sports team, club, or committees. Participating in extracurricular activities is a wonderful way to increase your social circle and popularity.^{[14]
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Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.} You will form lasting relationships with your fellow members. Your accomplishments will attract the attention and praise of those around you.^{[15]
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- Try out for the school musical.
- Join the debate team.
- Run for student council.
- Join a culture-themed club.^{[16]
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  Expert Source
  
  Katie Styzek
  Professional School Counselor
  Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.}

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you stay true to yourself and your values?

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.

Katie Styzek

Professional School Counselor

Expert Answer

Don't give into any peer pressure. Instead, have confidence in your own strengths, abilities, and successes. Then, exit the uncomfortable situation by saying "no thanks" and walking away.
Question

How do you keep a conversation going with a new student?

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.

Katie Styzek

Professional School Counselor

Expert Answer

Ask them about where they moved from and how things are going at their new school. If you hit things off, invite them to eat lunch with you later.
Question

Why do people think they need to be popular?

Community Answer

Humans always form social hierarchies. Many people feel the need to climb through the ranks to get more attention or status. There's nothing wrong with this as long as you don't do this by tearing others down. Instead, be the person that others can go to for advice, protection, and motivation.

Warnings

Never forget your best friends. Don't dump them to gain popularity, instead, include them into the popular circle.

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Don't use bullying and/or picking for popularity. This might end in a bad reputation.

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Don't be judgmental or spread rumors about people to others. Sooner or later, they will know it's you who spread it

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