This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
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Being good looking does not just mean you have good looks. Being a naturally good looking girl can make your inner beauty shine just as brightly as your outer good looks. As the saying goes, "pretty is as pretty does," and being a normal good looking girl involves both maintaining your looks and acting graceful and kind.
Steps
Keep Your Hair and Makeup Fresh
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1Have fun with your hair. Hair can be a great asset when cared for properly but can also detract from your appearance if neglected. Even if you have no time to put it up, make sure it’s brushed and that you have a ponytail holder with you. Short hair is normal too.
- Wash your hair regularly. Gently towel-dry it and let it air-dry as often as possible; blow-drying is hard on your hair.
- Condition your hair to keep it looking healthy and vibrant. Find a formula that works for you; nothing is one-size-fits-all.
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2Keep your makeup simple. Of course, you want to minimize flaws and accentuate your best features, but don’t pack it on; unnatural makeup makes you look fake. If you want people to think you are normal, then be real and look real. It's normal to not want to wear makeup too.
- A touch of base, a hint of blush, a bit of eye shadow, eyeliner, and mascara can help bring your face to life.
- To avoid looking like a painted lady, choose colours that compliment your natural colouring.
- Go natural if that’s what feels best to you. Be sure to eat right, drink lots of water, and pamper your skin to make it glow.
Take Care of Your Body
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1Exercise! Find a way to sweat — yes, really sweat — for 30 minutes at least 3 to 5 times every week. Take a dance class; go jogging or biking; join a hiking club; play tennis, racketball, soccer, or basketball; walk laps around the block. Do something. It will improve not only your fitness, but also your outlook on life and the world. Some normal people can't exercise this way others can. Find something physical you can do that works for you.
- Being fit is always more attractive than not being fit. And don't think you have to be a skinny model to be fit; fitness is about being able to move, breathe, and keep up during a physical activity.
- Exercise is also a secret potion for happiness and well-being, and being happy always makes you more attractive.
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2Maintain your personal hygiene. No one likes to be around someone who looks or smells bad. Every morning and night, brush your teeth for 2 minutes. Don't forget to floss; most cavities occur between teeth that are hard to clean with a brush. Wash your hands after using the bathroom, keep your nails clean, shower or bath with soap, and wear antiperspirant.
- A lack of hygiene is a huge red flag for interpersonal relationships; after all, if you aren’t willing to take care of yourself, why should anyone else be?
Dress Well
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1Wear clean clothes. To be honest, most of your clothes can be worn a few times before being washed, but always remember this rule of thumb: if you don't want it on your nose, don't wear it.
- Pants are not as noticeable as shirts (pretty much all jeans look alike) and can be worn more times in a row than anything else. Just be sure they stay relatively clean and don’t lose their shape; jeans can become stretched out after just a few uses.
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2Choose classy, modest styles. Many fashions promote revealing styles that are tight-fitting, attention-grabbing, low-cut, etc. Dressing up every once in a while is part of being young and beautiful, but for everyday stuff, your best bet is attractive, modest, flattering clothes that don’t draw undue attention to your body.
- If you have a nice figure, it will be obvious in modest clothes.
- If attracting a boyfriend is one of your goals, you may be surprised to find out how many boys actually prefer it when things are left to the imagination. More importantly, a lot of the guys who want to see normal girls in ridiculous little outfits aren’t the ones you want to be attracting in the first place.
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3Wear practical shoes. Don't be that girl who has to sit out of the soccer game because she can't play in her mini-skirt and wedges; it’s much more attractive to be comfortable and to participate. High heels should be reserved for special dress-up occasions. Low heels or pumps can work in many situations if they’re sturdy and comfy. The rest of the time, wear cute athletic shoes, sensible leather lace-ups, or whatever else fits the bill for everyday life.
Develop a Healthy Inner Self
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1Leave the past behind. Whatever has happened before, it's over now. Accept the lessons you've learned, and try to move on. Remember: if you think about it every day, you're still allowing it to control you.
- Seek professional help, if necessary. A counselor or therapist can help you overcome self-confidence issues and be your best self.
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2Be confident. Even if you're feeling really down about yourself, act confident. You don't have to pretend to be something you're not, but don't announce to the world you're upset. Stay calm and collected. You will be respected if you show your feelings, but in a confident way.
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3Appreciate your uniqueness. You are a beautiful individual with your own personality and talents. Only by appreciating your potential will you be able to nurture your gifts and offer something to the world.
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4Maintain your integrity. Don't do anything you might regret later or you’ll lose your self-respect. Not only that, but secrets have a way of getting out -- and when they do, people’s negative judgments of you might poison your own sense of self. Be honest and ethical and, most importantly, have a little backbone!
- Stand up for what’s right. If someone puts you down, be your own knight in shining armor; no one has a right to treat you with disrespect. Do the same if someone else is being abused. Don’t be afraid to stand up -- even if it means standing alone; remember, it only takes one person to make a huge difference.
- Respect yourself and your body. Think twice about drinking liquor, smoking cigarettes, and eating bad food. Illegal drugs should be avoided. And be careful if/when you engage in sexual activity.
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5Keep a journal. Write in it as often as you can and you’ll soon discover that it’s worth the time: it’ll not only give you a chance to reflect on your relationships and experiences, but also help you consider who you are and who you want to be. While you’re at it, keep a record of the good things in your life. You may be surprised how blessed you really are.
- If you think it's nerdy or uncool, don't worry; it can be private and no one needs to know you keep it.
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6Set goals for yourself. Ride the momentum of all this soul-searching into a better future. Start with one or two goals (ex. lose 10 pounds, make the volleyball team, make the 'A' honour roll, save money and buy new clothes, etc.) and, once you’ve made headway on them, set a few more. Make a habit of knowing what you want and getting it.
- It may help to make a new sheet of paper for each goal and write why you want to do it, how you'll make this happen, and when you’ll have it done by.
Enrich Your Mind
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1Try new things. Whenever the opportunity arises to do something interesting that you’ve never tried before, seize it! If you get invited to go skiing, accept. If a new ethnic restaurant opens in your area, give it a shot. Experiencing new and different activities will not only make you a more balanced person, but also get you in the habit of becoming a life-long learner.
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2Educate yourself as much as possible. Although getting a traditional education should be the first priority, also remember that life is full of learning experiences; you don't have to be in a classroom to acquire knowledge.
- Do your best at school. People look up to smart, active people in the community.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help from teachers and other students. There's no such thing as a stupid question; that's how you learn!
- Read|Read]]! Read bestsellers, classic literature, how-to manuals, self-help books, and pieces you don’t necessarily agree with. Always carry around a book to read so that you can fill your heart and mind with good things and great ideas.
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3Devote 15 to 30 minutes of every day to developing a special talent. This could be playing an instrument, painting, welding, tutoring, cooking, or building miniature wooden space hamsters; the important thing is to have fun while becoming really good at something. Doing this will build your self-confidence and create opportunities to have fun with friends and your future partner.
Appreciate the People Around You
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1Make an extra effort to get to know the people in your world. Learn to enjoy finding out about others by talking to them -- and not just about yourself. The better you understand others, the better you’ll understand yourself.
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2Recognize true beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone is beautiful in their own way. Be supportive of other people’s processes; everyone needs help at some point in their life -- and when it’s your turn, people will happily repay your kindness.
- Don’t put others down, tell them they're stupid or ugly, or call attention to their flaws. Everyone has flaws, but by learning to recognize the positive things in others, you’ll be able to appreciate and develop them in yourself.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat can someone do to make themselves recognize their inner beauty?Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPRebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
Clinical TherapistI think the important thing here is to define inner and outer beauty regarding our own thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. What is inner beauty? What do you think are qualities of having inner beauty? It’s a unique concept for each person and can look very different from what society makes us believe beauty really is. It’s important to look at core values; how do you see yourself; how does the world see you and what is your vision for the future? Self-reflect on the things you like about yourself and the areas you want to improve on. Defining inner beauty in terms of your personal beliefs is a great place to start. -
QuestionIs it okay to be not normal?Community AnswerYes. "Normal" is subjective, meaning not everyone even agrees on what it means. You should just be yourself, even if that means not being exactly like everybody else.
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QuestionDo I really need makeup?Community AnswerNope, makeup is just used to enhance your features. Use it only if you choose to.
About This Article
Being a normal good-looking girl is all about keeping fit and being true to who you really are. To look great, try to eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. Taking care of your physical health will help you feel better too! There are plenty of ways to exercise, like going to dance classes, playing sports, doing martial arts, or just going for long walks. You should also act confident, even when you don’t necessarily feel it. This will help you engage with people and easily make friends. Stepping outside of your comfort zone can sometimes be nerve-wracking, but push yourself to try new things and talk to new people. At the same time, don't be afraid to embrace your uniqueness. If you want to skip down the road, singing your favorite song, then go for it. For more tips, including how to stand up for yourself, read on!