How to Be a Good Online Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Last Updated: June 21, 2022 References

Are you worried about your relationship over the internet? Being a good online boyfriend or girlfriend isn't all that different from being a good partner in person. Showing interest in your significant other's passions, making him or her feel comfortable, and being honest are all great ways to show your sweetie how much you care.

Steps

1
Take a good profile picture. Of course the picture needs to be of you and not some actor that you think that they will find attractive, but you do need to take the time to make sure the picture shows you in the best possible light. As far as physical first impressions go your picture in your online profile is that first impression so be honest with it but make it your best impression possible.^{[1]
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2
Ask about their interests. Make sure that you ask simple questions like "Oh, you have a band? What do you play?" like a normal conversation. Learn as much as you can about him. Online relationships are the same as normal relationships, so conversations shouldn't be much different.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}

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3
Do not lie. Lying in any relationship is bad. You don't want to get caught in it later or forget what you said because you will feel foolish and your relationship won't be strong because you won't trust each other.^{[3]
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4
Do not cheat. Just because it is an online relationship, and it is easier to get away with cheating, does not mean you should cheat. It is not right by any means and it is not fair to the other person.^{[4]
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5
Do not stay with them if you do not feel comfortable with this relationship. If they seem pressuring to meet and you do not want to, stand your ground. It's better to be safe than sorry.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
6
Meet in a place with lots of people around when you both are comfortable. This would include busy restaurants, busy shopping malls, and any other busy place you can go. Do not invite them to your home until your relationship is healthy, steady, and you have been with them for quite a while to ensure as much safety as possible.^{[6]
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- Take friends with you on any meeting with someone you have only met online, even in a busy place.
7
Consider not meeting with them and keeping your relationship as a friendship.
8
Don’t take their word for it. Some of these online dating websites are getting pretty sophisticated in the way they match up people but that does not mean that they cannot make mistakes. Another important dating tip is to always check someone out for yourself before you accept a date from them. Just because an emotionless computer thinks you may be a good match for someone does not mean that you are. Look their profile over and email them a few times before making the decision to meet.

Method 1

Method 1 of 1:

After you have met

1
Send them small gifts. Send small gifts such as chocolate, flowers, a card, etc. Send them to their place of work so they have something to cheer them up in the middle of the day. If they don't work, send them to their home. Don't make it too frequent, though, or they'll make it a habit of receiving those gifts.
2
Take them out on dates once in a while. When you're not talking online, go out on dates if they live nearby. Take them out to the movies, or a fair going on nearby. Small dates do wonders for these types of relationships.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}^{[8]
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Research source}
3
Don't get too attached. Take a break every once in a while from talking to them. You don't need to be conversing 24/7 and make sure it does not interfere with work/school/etc.
4
Before you do anything in a cyber-relationship, be cautious! Online predators are everywhere and you don't want to get caught up in a cell phone number instead, or your work number), never give out your address, and by all means, Never give out any personal information that can reveal your identity.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
- Don't feel that because you are male, you are not vulnerable; these precautions are for anyone contemplating such a relationship.^{[10]
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Community Q&A

Question

What can I do if my relationship is a secret due to me not being allowed to date, but my partner wants to make it known?

Community Answer

What I suggest is that you do things at your own pace. If that person forces you into making the relationship official, then it is not meant to be. Going at your own pace should be alright with them.
Question

My girlfriend lives in Sweden and I live in the USA; what should I do for dates, birthdays, etc.?

Community Answer

You should try to set up a certain time to voice chat and try your best to make it feel like a date in person, with maybe a candle and low lights.
Question

What if I can't meet them in person and/or I don't know what they look like?

Community Answer

You should find out what they look like to be safe. Skype with video chat is a good way to see each other face to face. If they seem sketchy about video chat, calmly ask another time but remain cautious.