How to Be Sophisticated (for Teens)

Last Updated: September 19, 2022 References

Being sophisticated can get you respect from the adults and other teenagers at your school. It'll help in lots of social situations throughout high school, and even going forward into your college life. Being sophisticated means paying attention to how you dress, how you act and how you treat others. It just takes a bit of effort, but soon you'll come across as a confident, cultured person.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Keeping Your Social Graces

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Be punctual. Being late to a social engagement is a lack of respect for another person's time. That, and it shows that you don't know how to manage your time. Sophisticated people respect others and are always on top of a given situation. Plan as much extra time as you need, but make sure you're on time for your engagements.^{[1]
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2
Stay true to who you are. Being aware of who you are and representing that with authenticity can go a long way towards showcasing your awesome, sophisticated self. To start becoming more self-aware, be more open to feedback from others and always be honest with yourself. This means being aware and accepting of what makes you great as well as your flaws.
- If there's a guidance counselor at your school, having honest conversations with them throughout the year can help you be more aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
- Get feedback from your teachers on projects and your behavior in class.
- Honest conversations with your friends can help you be more confident in your abilities and more aware of your flaws.^{[2]
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3
Put other people's needs ahead of your own. Part of being sophisticated is being kind and looking out for others. Rather than putting yourself first in every situation, consider how you should be treating others. A perfect example of this is allowing the elderly and people with limited mobility to take your seat on a crowded bus or subway.^{[3]
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4
Listen more than you speak. Conversations are often rife with interruptions, and many people listen only until they can put in their own piece. If you want to stand out as a more sophisticated conversationalist, spend more time listening in a conversation than you do speaking.
- Listening properly means listening actively. Ask questions where needed and show that you're listening to what someone is saying.^{[4]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Being More Cultured

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Learn a new language. Being fluent in more than one language will let you communicate with a wider variety of people, allowing you to experience more cultures and ideas. Many high schools offer classes in other languages, such as French or Spanish. Pay extra close attention during those classes.
- If you want to learn a second language more quickly, ask your parents to hire a tutor.^{[5]
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2
Read more books. Many teenagers don't read books unless their teachers force them to. An important part of culture and sophistication, though, is being open to new ideas and learning more about the world. You might start by reading books by quintessential American authors, like Ernest Hemingway or Robert Frost, and seek variety in classic Greek works from Homer and Plato.
- A great list of classic books can be found in the The Western Canon, by Harold Bloom. Pick a few books from that list and start reading.^{[6]
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- However, it's important to note to decolonize literature and explore works beyond the Western world. It's important to not let yourself be constrained and only read "classics" or specific genres. Expand your worldview through reading, and discover new interests.
3
Go to a museum. A good exhibit gives you a glimpse into another culture, another time, or a field of study you've never considered before. Start by checking for exhibits in your town. You might be surprised by what you find. Try to go to exhibits about things you might not have experienced or studied before. The more you know, the more sophisticated you'll be.^{[7]
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4
Go to the theater. Theater is a classic art form with a variety of styles, from Shakespearean tragedies to Greek epics. A play can help you better understand a culture, even your own. On top of that, you'll learn to appreciate the hard work that goes into a live performance.^{[8]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Cleaning up Your Look

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Be well groomed. A big part of good grooming is trimming unruly hair. You should get a haircut frequently, choosing a style that looks clean and flatters your face. For short hair, you'll need a haircut about every month. For longer hair, you can get away with getting a trim every 8-12 weeks.
- If you have facial hair, it should be neatly trimmed. Any body hair should also be neat and trimmed.
- Keep your nails trimmed and don't chew them. You can use nail polish, but it should be neat.
- Brush your teeth twice a day and floss regularly.^{[9]
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2
Shower every day. The combination of strange smells and oily skin is a dead giveaway that you've skipped a shower; people pick up on it more than you expect.
- Wash your hair every couple of days, especially if it's long. Washing it every day will make it lose its oils, making it brittle and prone to split ends.^{[10]
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3
Dress for the occasion. Your outfit should meet or exceed the expectations for a specific event. For example, if you're attending a wedding, you'll want to break out your finest suit. In most situations, like a night out with friends, smart casual is enough.
- You don't need to wear a suit or fancy dress to every occasion, but make sure your clothes fit well and are clean.
- When in doubt, it's better to be overdressed than to be underdressed. If you're not sure how well you should dress for a specific occasion, dress a bit fancier than you think is appropriate.
- Pick colors and patterns that go well together. Solid neutral colors are a safe bet and can fit any occasion.^{[11]
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4
Maintain good posture. Having good posture is helpful to your overall image, especially if you're trying to appear more sophisticated. It makes you look more intelligent and trustworthy. To maintain good posture, imagine ice water is being poured down your back, forcing you to straighten as you react to the cold. You'll naturally bring your shoulders back and keep a healthy curve in your spine.
- Whether sitting or standing, you want to keep a straight spine. If you're sitting in a couch or chair with back support, your bottom should be as close as possible to the inner edge, which meets the back of the chair or couch.^{[12]
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Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Minding Your Manners

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Have good table manners. Being able to eat respectably is important if you're trying to impress people at dinner. Put a napkin across your lap to catch any wayward crumbs or sauce. Sit a good distance away from the table to keep your elbows off of it.
- Above all, chew with your mouth closed and never talk with your mouth full.^{[13]
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2
Stay off your phone during school meetings and conversations. With the advent of smartphones and social media, it's tempting to glance down at your phone every so often. If you want to stand out as a sophisticated person, never whip out your phone during a conversation or a meeting. Leave it in your pocket.
- Switch your phone to vibrate or mute. You'll avoid the temptation of looking down at it so frequently and won't disturb the conversation.^{[14]
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3
Avoid cursing. Using curse words liberally sends strong messages, like being immature and having a limited vocabulary. Cursing is not particularly sophisticated, especially if you think about the reason you do it. For example, are you cursing to punctuate a joke? Then you should either find a different way to deliver a punchline, or a different joke altogether.^{[15]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How can a teen girl get fashion inspiration?

Christina Santelli
Professional Stylist
Christina Santelli is the Owner and Founder of Style Me New, a wardrobe styling concierge based in Tampa, Florida. She has been working as a stylist for over six years, and her work has been featured in HSN, the Pacific Heights Wine and Food Festival, and the Nob Hill Gazette.

Christina Santelli

Professional Stylist

Expert Answer

Get fashion inspiration from magazines, celebrities, and people you see on the street.
Question

How do teenagers dress elegant?

Christina Santelli
Professional Stylist
Christina Santelli is the Owner and Founder of Style Me New, a wardrobe styling concierge based in Tampa, Florida. She has been working as a stylist for over six years, and her work has been featured in HSN, the Pacific Heights Wine and Food Festival, and the Nob Hill Gazette.

Christina Santelli

Professional Stylist

Expert Answer

Make sure you feel comfortable and confident in the clothes you wear. If you feel awkward or uncomfortable in what you're wearing, the clothes won't look right on you.