How to Be Popular Fast

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: February 10, 2023

Being liked is something that most people strive for. If you want to quickly increase your number of friends, there are some easy ways to do so. You can improve your conversation skills, have an attractive personality, increase your confidence, and avoid certain social turn-offs to quickly become more popular.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Improving Conversation Skills

1
Make eye contact and smile frequently. The first step to a good conversation is having the other person feel like you’re interested in talking to them! Look at them while they are talking and while you’re talking, but break eye contact occasionally to avoid having them think you're staring them down. Smile often, but don’t wear a fake smile plastered on your face constantly.^{[1]
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- If the person says something amusing, this is the perfect time to smile at them. Or, if you’re telling a story that has funny parts, smile while you’re telling them.
- Try offering someone a simple wave and smile; if they're in the same mindset, they'll usually offer you a smile back.
2
Introduce yourself or friends who don’t know each other. If you’re in a group of people you know, notice if there’s someone who doesn’t know other people in the group. Say, “Oh, have you all met Lorraine yet?” Allow the group to introduce themselves individually, or you can name the people in the group if you want.^{[2]
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- If there’s someone in the group who you don’t know, make eye contact, smile, and say, “Hi, I’m Sam, I don’t think we’ve met before.” The other person will then introduce themselves, and you can say, “Nice to meet you.”
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3
Listen carefully and wait to respond until a person is finished talking. Interrupting is a huge turn-off in a conversation. Instead of constantly thinking about what you want to say next, listen to the other person. When they’re finished, think of a response and don’t worry about saying the right thing.^{[3]
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- Try to respond in a way that shows you were listening, and avoid abruptly changing the topic.
- Try asking the person a question if you’d like to know more about what they were saying. Or, share a similar experience that you’ve had in the past after you say, “I know what you mean; that’s happened to me before…”
4
Pay attention to how the other person is acting and feeling. It’s important to notice if someone changes mood or looks uncomfortable during a conversation. If this happens, try to change the subject. Try to match the other person’s mood – if they are excited, show enthusiasm by smiling, laughing, or talking louder.^{[4]
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- If someone is proud of an accomplishment, be genuine in complimenting them. Say, “That’s wonderful; congratulations!” Don’t act jealous or downplay their achievement by talking about yourself during their proud moment.
5
Talk about current events. Talking about the present or future is usually more interesting than talking about past events, unless the past story is related to what the other person is talking about. Stay updated on what’s happening in the world so you can contribute to a conversation about news or politics if that’s what it’s about.^{[5]
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- Try reading news apps or current events stories on social media to stay up-to-date and form opinions for conversation starters.
- If you have a difference in opinion about a current news event with someone, you can say, "That's interesting you see it that way; I guess I hadn't thought of it like that before. I think..." and then state your opinion.
6
Show empathy if the other person is distressed. If someone is upset, say things that reaffirm their feelings, such as, “That sounds really hard,” or “I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.” Stay calm and listen. Offer to help by saying, “Is there a way I can help?” or “How can I help?”^{[6]
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- If you know the person well enough to offer them a hug, you can do so. This would be appropriate if the person is a closer friend or someone who you have spent time with before.
- Avoid offering advice unless the person asks for it. Sometimes people just want to talk something out. But if they say, “What should I do?” you can tell them what you think might help.
7
End a conversation before it gets dull or repetitive. If you’ve talked about the same subject with a person for a while and you’re running out of new things to say, try changing the subject. Or, if you’re in a larger social gathering, move on to talk to someone else.^{[7]
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- When it’s time to end your interaction with the person you’re talking to, you can say, “It was nice talking to you,” or “Hope to see you again soon.”

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Having an Attractive Personality

1
Be energetic and positive. When you’re telling a story, change your tone when it’s appropriate by getting louder at an exciting part and lowering your voice at a secretive or sad part, and change the types of phrases you use. Avoid talking in a monotone voice, as this is boring to most people, and people may think you are bored as well.^{[8]
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- Try not to focus on negative or sad events, but if you need to talk about them, do so in a way that shows you can see the positive aspects in them.
- One way you can show you see the positive in a sad event is to say, "This was very difficult, but I think I grew from it and learned not to take things for granted."
2
Be open to new ideas. It’s good to have opinions, but if you’re constantly arguing with others because you think you’re always right, it’s going to be hard for other people to like you. If someone you don’t know very well says something you don’t agree with, you can say, “That’s an interesting take on it,” or “I hadn’t really thought about it that way before.”^{[9]
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- The only exception to this is if someone is making insulting or hateful comments about other people based on stereotypes or because of someone’s race, gender, disability, etc. If this happens, feel free to tell the person you don’t like that type of talk and end the conversation.
3
Be more easygoing and flexible. Many people don’t like someone who has to be in control at all times. If you make plans with another person and the plans change, be accepting of it. If you’re out with someone and something unexpected happens, such as bad traffic or a location being closed, have a sense of humor about it and think of an alternative.^{[10]
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- Laugh about an annoying situation that’s out of your control and say, “That’s too bad. I guess we could try doing something else instead? What do you think?”
4
Make plans with friends regularly and accept invitations. Come up with ideas for ways to be social with people you know. Invite your friends to do fun activities like swimming, skating, playing a sport, shopping, playing video games, or just watching movies at your house.^{[11]
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- If you get invited to a social activity or party, do your best to try to go. The more often you attend different social events, the more often you will get invited to them.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Increasing Your Confidence

1
Approach new people. The best way to make new friends is to go up to new people and introduce yourself. Start a conversation based on where you are; if you’re at a party, you can ask how the other person knows the hosts. If you’re at a club, comment on how great you think the place is and ask if the other person goes there often.^{[12]
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- If you’re new to a place such as a gym or other group activity, say so. Say, “I’m pretty new to this place, do you have any advice for me?”
2
Become good at something. One of the best ways to increase your own self-esteem and become more attractive to others is to focus on something you enjoy and get better at it. Others will see that you are passionate and goal-driven, which are traits that others like. Choose a sport, extra-curricular activity, hobby, or area of work that you enjoy and spend more time getting good at it.^{[13]
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- Set goals for yourself that show your improvement. Try to set a new record, create a new craft, or get a good review within a month and then find a way to reward yourself for your hard work. A reward could be buying yourself something new or going out to a new place with friends.
3
Dress how you feel most comfortable. As long as you have good hygiene, such as clean clothes, hair, and teeth, it doesn’t really matter how you dress for most informal occasions. Try not to be overly concerned with comparing yourself to how others look, and focus instead on how you like to look.^{[14]
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- If you like the way that someone dresses, avoid copying their style exactly, but instead take elements from it that you like and make them into your own. For example, find out the brand that someone wears and buy different items of that brand than what they have.
- For more formal occasions, if you're unsure what type of attire is appropriate, ask another person who is planning to attend the event, or research the type of event online along with "what to wear."

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Avoiding Social Turn-offs

1
Don’t be the center of attention. You don’t need to act like you’re on stage to be liked. Many people view this behavior as unnecessary and like you’re trying too hard. If you find yourself interrupting, not hearing what others are saying, or that you’re talking for most of the conversation, take a step back and make room for others to speak.^{[15]
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- Avoid yelling or making outrageous comments for shock value around people you don’t know very well.
2
Avoid talking about others behind their backs. It may seem like a good idea to gossip sometimes, and that talking about someone else will make you look better, but it usually backfires. The person you were talking about may find out, and the person you’re talking to may end up just thinking that you’re shallow and untrustworthy.^{[16]
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- If you have an actual conflict with someone, try to deal with it directly and talk to them. If you need advice from another friend about how to handle a conflict, ask them for advice without speaking too negatively about the other person.
3
Don’t spend time with people who make you feel bad. Sometimes it may seem like you can become popular by hanging around other popular people. But if those popular people are actually mean or treat you or others badly, don’t continue trying to be their friend. Choose friends who make you feel good about yourself and who you have fun with.^{[17]
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- Spending time with negative people may actually make you less popular, because they can affect your self-esteem. Having confidence and good self-esteem is crucial to being popular, so it’s wise to spend your time with people who make you feel good.

Community Q&A

Question

How do I become popular if I'm a nerd and nobody likes me?

Community Answer

Honestly, there is no way to become popular faster. In my personal opinion, being a “nerd” is part of what makes you a fascinating person. You just have to find the right group to talk to. Find people your age who share your interests, and just be happy for the friends you have or will have. Just be you, because being yourself is the best way to make friends.
Question

How do I dress to impress when I have to wear a uniform?

Community Answer

You can dress to impress with things like jewelry, nice shoes, or a fun hairstyle you like. You might also want to read the article on How to Look Good In Your School Uniform.