How to Be Feminine

Last Updated: February 14, 2023 References Approved

Do you want to enhance your feminine side? If you really want to embrace your feminine side, then you have to cultivate grace, politeness, and capability. If you want to project a feminine image regardless of your gender identity, just follow these steps.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Looking Feminine

1
Wear clothes you love. Wear the correct clothes for your body shape and size - ones that are pretty, and modest if that makes you comfortable. Try wearing skirts and shorts rather than jeans, since jeans and pants are considered masculine. A skirt looks cute paired with a blouse, belt, and flats. Nothing really beats a classic pencil skirt, while a pleated skirt can be both cute and comfortable. If you've been wearing jeans for years, wearing a skirt or a pair of shorts will be a revelation; it will make you feel confident and feminine.
- Dresses (fit & flare dresses with a belt) are sweet too.
- Try to wear hosiery rather than bare legs. Go for the classic sheer look and avoid patterns. Tan or nearly black are also great colours to choose. Your skirt will help you enjoy the feeling of having your legs on display while keeping you comfortable.
- Wear flat shoes if you don't like heels. The key is to choose something simple and classy.
- If you can pull off the "just rolled out of bed" look, use it. If you can't, don't do it! Don't wear anything that hides your shape. Whatever you wear, people should be able to tell you've put some time and effort into putting your look together.
EXPERT TIP

Tannya Bernadette
Professional Stylist
Tannya Bernadette is the Founder of The Closet Edit, a Seattle-based personal styling service. She has been in the fashion industry for over 10 years and has been recognized as Ann Taylor’s LOFT brand ambassador and Seattle Southside’s official Rockstar Stylist. Tannya received her BA in Fashion Marketing and Business from The Art Institutes.

Tannya Bernadette
Professional Stylist

Balance your wardrobe with feminine pieces. Master stylist Tannya Bernadette says: "To me, feminine fashion is categorized by color and fit. I can wear a looser-fitting top, but then I'll want a heel or a pop of color or a lot of jewelry to balance it out and make it more feminine. Feminine can also mean florals and prints, or pointy-toe flat shoes. It's really about how you pair items together."
2
Wear a little makeup. This step is not necessary, but it will help make you look a little more feminine. Red and pink lipstick and neutral eyeshadows will help to create a feminine look^{[1]
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Research source}. But remember, you do not need makeup. Wear it only if you want to. If you're not comfortable with makeup, then so be it.
- If you're really opposed to makeup, make sure your lips are moist by wearing lip balm whenever you can.
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3
Accessorize. In addition to your clothes and makeup, you should spend some time finding the perfect accessories to go with your wardrobe. You don't need a box full of accessories -- just a few key items can help tie your look together and can make you look more feminine. Here are some items to consider as you work on your more feminine look, while bringing out your personality:
- A pretty silk scarf
- Pearl earrings or other studs
- A cute headband
- A ribbon hair barrette
- Some bracelets
- Rings that are cute, but not too chunky or flashy
- A simple and cute necklace
- A smile! Smiling can make you look wonderful, as well as make you confident.
4
Love every inch of your body. This is the first step to confidence. Your body is what makes you beautiful and feminine without wearing a thing! Part of loving your body is also taking care of it, so maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep and exercise to stay in shape. Emulating a model's clothes and fashion can make you look feminine.
- Loving every inch of your body doesn't have to mean flaunting your body or showing it off every chance you get. It just means loving how you look and being comfortable in your own skin.^{[2]
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- If you're a girl, don't think that you can't work out because it's not 'ladylike'. Taking a yoga class, a dance class or running or swimming or even going to the gym for a few minutes will get you more in touch with your feminine side and will make you love your body even more.
5
Set aside time for grooming. Though you don't have to take a two-hour shower every day or spend an hour doing your hair, you should make sure that you always look, feel and smell clean and that you've devoted enough time to keeping up a ladylike appearance. Showing up somewhere after working out without showering is not very feminine; make sure that you exude cleanliness and poise and look relatively put together wherever you go.
- Never look like you rushed to get your look together in time or put on makeup or comb your hair in front of your friends because you didn't have time to do it before.
6
Wear perfume or scented lotion. If you want to look like a lady, then you have to smell like a lady. Consider putting a dab of perfume on your neck or rubbing some scented lotion on your neck or arms. Remember to only use a light touch, You don't want to overwhelm anyone with perfume that is overpowering.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Acting Feminine

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Be graceful. Many people appear more feminine when they make smooth movements. You will feel beautiful and in-control. Of course, consider the context. You might want to be fierce on the volleyball court or shooting range and svelte at a bar or in the bedroom. There's no rule saying you have to be graceful (or feminine) all the time.
- To be graceful, wear shoes that suit your appearance, and that are comfortable for you to walk in so you don't trip or walk in a way that looks unnatural or weird. If you want to master walking in heels, but don't quite know how, practice at home or in front of a mirror before you take your new look out into the world.
2
Learn to dance. Dancing is an extension of your body and through dance you can find ways to emphasize your femininity. Belly dancing, for example, accentuates the natural curves of a person's form. A partner dance, like salsa or the waltz, can also help you feel more feminine because such dances are built upon the traditional differences between two people— one person guides, while the other (you) follows and makes more fluid, extravagant movements.
3
Be playful. Let's ditch the whole idea that being feminine means being perfect and ethereal. For those times when grace is lacking and you fall flat on your face in the middle of a room, the true test of your femininity is your ability to laugh it off! Think about it: taking life too seriously isn't very feminine in most people's estimation, nor is it very healthy overall. So, smile a lot, flirt, tease and play. Have fun! Ultimately, being feminine is about feeling at ease with yourself and you can't feel at ease if you're too stiff, somber and serious, so be the opposite: lighthearted and playful.
- Flirting is a part of being feminine Don't think that you're not allowed to flirt just because you're trying to be feminine.
4
Be confident - another important step to projecting femininity. Having confidence will not only make you look and feel more feminine, it will help you to be more independent and outstanding. Never give up on yourself, ever.
- Part of being confident means mastering the body language of a confident person. Walk with your head high, smile and look straight ahead of you, not down at the floor.^{[3]
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- Being confident doesn't mean being arrogant. You don't have to brag about your accomplishments to make people see how confident you are.
5
Walk in a more feminine way. If you want to have a more feminine walk, then you should work on walking more with your hips than your shoulders, taking lighter steps instead of stomping, and taking your time to move from place to place. To be truly feminine, you should be gliding gracefully on your way and not look like you're rushing off to your next location. If you have to rush, try to look composed as you take quick short steps to reach your destination.
6
Be a good caretaker. If you want to be feminine, then you have to know how to take care of someone, whether your partner has gotten sick, your dog has gotten injured or your best friend just needs a shoulder to cry on. Be prepared to serve chicken soup, take a person's temperature or tell a person to lie down and make them feel more comfortable and cared for. A feminine person helps, when they see who clearly needs their help. They should spring into action when someone needs to be nurtured.
- This doesn't mean that you should focus your energies to taking care of other people. It just means that when the time comes to be a caretaker, you should be prepared.
7
Have admirable manners. If you want to be feminine, then you must have good manners at the table and in all other aspects of your life. Manners mean not eating with your elbows on the table, greeting a person kindly even if you're having a bad day, not slouching or sneezing into your hands instead of a tissue and generally acting in a way that can serve as a model for others.^{[4]
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Research source} Here are some other things to consider as you refine your manners:
- If you're eating dinner in a group setting, make sure you say, "Please pass the chicken," instead of reaching and invading another person's personal space.
- Find a nice way to give negative feedback. Instead of saying, "Will you shut up already?" say, "Would you mind lowering your voice?"
- Avoid burping in public. Once you reach a certain age, burping in public is not funny anymore. If it happens by accident, just say "Excuse me," or "Pardon me."
- Avoid rolling your eyes or generally being rude when someone is saying something you don't really want to hear.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Using the Right Words

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Talk politely. Femininity and cursing don't really go together. Speak politely, clearly, and considerately. It's better to say, "It's a little chilly today," rather than "I'm freezing my butt off!"
- Start to change the way you think. Is the subject matter you want to discuss appropriate for polite company? No? Steer clear and think of something else. Is it crude or crass or inappropriate? Yes? Don't say anything. Start to train your mind to rethink things that aren't feminine.
2
Give sincere compliments. Giving fake compliments is catty, not feminine. A feminine person should be able to find something kind or complimentary to say or make a person feel special and important by pointing out something that he or she is doing well. You can say something as simple as, "I love your dress. It matches your eyes perfectly." or "You're amazing at piano. How long have you been playing?" Take a sincere interest in a person and find a small way to show that you're paying attention.^{[5]
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- You don't have to go overboard. Just give a compliment whenever the mood strikes you.
3
Avoid bragging. If you want to be feminine, then avoid bragging about your accomplishments, talking about how amazing you look or generally showing off. A truly feminine person is confident enough in their looks and abilities to let other people figure out how amazing they are. You don't have to be so humble that you can't take a compliment or never talk about your achievements, but avoid doing anything that may come off as bragging or making you seem a little too full of yourself.
- A truly feminine person doesn't need to show off for the compliments to come.
4
Be polite. A feminine person isn't rude, off-putting or generally mean to anyone around them. Even if you're hanging around someone you don't like very much, you should avoid being openly combative or hostile. Instead, smile, be polite and limit your contact with the person as much as you can. A feminine person also says "please," and "thank you" whenever it's necessary.
- Being polite doesn't mean you're restricted from talking about certain topics. Just ton't talk about anything overly vulgar, curse too much or bring up inappropriate topics in the wrong company.
5
Be compassionate. A feminine person feels compassion for other people, knows how to sympathize with people and says the right thing when they're trying to help someone. Know how to say things like, "I'm so sorry you're feeling that way," "I can't imagine how hard that is for you," or "Please let me know if there's anything I can do." A feminine person knows how to recognize when someone is feeling upset, whether it's a dear friend or a small child and knows how to make that person feel better.
- While you're saying comforting words, you should also behave in a comforting manner. Don't be afraid to put your arm around the person or to use your body language to show how sympathetic you are if it's appropriate.

Community Q&A

Question

I'm not fully feminine because I like video games. How do I make myself lose interest in video games?

Community Answer

That's silly. There's nothing wrong with liking video games, and plenty of girls do. Don't change your whole personality because you want to be more feminine. Keep playing video games if you want to.
Question

Should I just embrace who I am if I want to be feminine?

Community Answer

Of course. If you want to be feminine and it makes you happy, go for it. If you tried being feminine and you don't feel comfortable, that's fine, as well.
Question

I can't buy female clothing because I don't have enough money. What should I do?

Community Answer

Thrift shops are a great option when money is tight. You can also ask female friends if they have any clothing or accessories they'd like to get rid of. .

Warnings

What is considered feminine and masculine varies from place to place. Some cultures even have a third gender and some people identify as nonbinary.

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These tips are for Westernized cultures mostly. There are other cultures around the world that acknowledge more than two genders.

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