How to Be Coy

Don't be too available. Even if he is your boyfriend, you don't want to seem like you have no life outside your relationship. When he asks you to hang out, don't accept his terms every time he asks. Refuse the times or days every so often, telling him you have plans with your friends or are too busy. Try to reschedule for another time, one that works for both of you. That way, he knows you have a life outside of him but lets him know that you are still interested.^{[8] [9]}

• This can be applied to electronic means of communication as well. In the current age of social media and electronics, it is easier than ever to get in touch with each other. Don't jump to respond every time he texts, calls, or tweets you. Make him work a little for your attention, which will make you seem more alluring and interesting.^[10]

Avoid oversharing. When you are dating someone, you want to get to know them. However, try to avoid oversharing about your life early on in your relationship.^[11] Don't lie or evade direct questions, but be coy about your answers, leaving him guessing about what else there is to know about you. Leave a little mystery for later in your relationship. You want to keep his attention by making him chase you, not annoyed because you talk too much.^[12]

• If you are talking about your past, don't divulge every little detail about your life. He doesn't need to know about each embarrassing moment you had at school dances or information about each of your exes. You can also save the family history lessons for when you are farther along in your relationship. You want him to know you, not be able to write your family history.

Be playful.^[13] Being playful is a great way to coyly flirt with your boyfriend. Even though you are together, flirting with him keeps your relationship fresh and exciting. Try to giggle at him when he tells a joke. While you and he are talking, playfully push him if he says something outrageous. You can be playful with the way you talk to him as well. Slip subtle, sexy compliments to him while you're in public, like: "You look great tonight. I wish we were not in a room full of people so I could show you how great." It's subtle enough to be coy and lets him know that he is on your mind.

Leave him wanting more. Even if you've been dating for a long time, you always want to leave your boyfriend wanting more. Flirt with him all throughout your date, but leave him right after dinner is over. During your date, call attention to your body. Slowly rub your hand along your neck while you talk or bite your lip while you're looking over the menu at dinner. While you eat, gently nudge his foot under the table with yours, but pretend you don't notice. At the end of the date, hug him tightly, running your hands up and down his back. When he goes in to kiss you, lean to his ear and whisper "I had a great time." before turning around to leave. This will drive him crazy and make him want you more.

Stay aloof. When you are in a group of people, don't jump into the conversation right away. Wait until you are introduced, then you can join the conversation a little bit at a time. You still don't want to be over exuberant, just talk to one or two people at a time. Make sure your body language doesn't seem closed off. You want to seem open to intimate conversation but not overly interested in every detail of each conversation.

• This is true for the kinds of activities you undertake as well. Avoid loud parties or large clubs. Being coy means hanging on the sidelines, trying not to be noticed. You want instead to attend small, intimate gatherings.^[14]

Be private. Whether it is at work with your colleagues or with people you don't know, you should keep to yourself. Don't divulge unnecessary information to people at work or tell them about your personal problems. If you are around your closest friends, feel free to talk about how your boyfriend dumped you or the problems you are having house training your new puppy. If you just met someone, however, keep your distance and keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. You want to feel out how people are and how they act in order to know what kind of person they are before you try to instigate a friendship.^[15]

• You should also try to avoid over sharing when asked questions. You don't want to divulge information about yourself to random people. Once you get to know someone, then you can start telling them more intimate details about yourself.

Avoid being the center of attention. When you are trying to be coy, you don't want to be the center of attention. This goes for attitude and dress. You shouldn't wear clothes that try to grab the attention of those around you or put you in the center of the action. It is harder to make close friendships if you are constantly surrounded by tons of people. If you try to stick to the sidelines, those people that do notice you will be more likely to be interested in getting to know you for who you are.^[16]