How to Be Beautiful (for Gay Men)

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: October 12, 2022 References

You have a right to feel good about yourself, no matter who you are. Feeling beautiful is something that some men may be unfamiliar with. This can be especially true for gay men, who have grown up in a society that is critical of them in a variety of ways. However, beauty basically boils down to personal presentation, confidence, and personality. Learning better personal grooming, wardrobe, and lifestyle habits can help you look and feel your best, while developing your personality, passions, and self esteem will let your true inner beauty shine.

Method 1

Method 1 of 6:

Embracing Your Existing Beauty

1
Work on developing your self esteem. Gay men, in particular, may have had years of self doubt and questioning due to living with homophobia in all its forms. This takes time and effort to shake off!
- Take the time to identify what you think is beautiful about yourself, and nurture that beauty instead of doubting it.
- You should also believe other people when they tell you you are beautiful. They are telling you the truth as they see it!
2
Fight internalized homophobia. It can be hard to find stereotypically "gay" aspects of your composure or personality beautiful. This is because straight society has defined these things as undesirable. Instead of falling prey to these ideas, embrace your "gay voice" or mannerisms that are stereotypically associated with gay men.

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3
Focus on developing your passions and skills. Attractiveness may have less to do with physical traits than other character traits, such as a sense of humor or a sharp intellect. Become really good at something. Do projects or hobbies you love to do. Develop a career that is fulfilling. Having passions, skills, and pursuits makes you a more interesting, and attractive, person.
4
Don't compare yourself to others. It can be easy to see someone and think, "I wish I could look that good." This can be especially hard in the gay community, where looks and traditional attractiveness tends to take center stage. However, this accomplishes nothing. Instead of comparing yourself to others, embrace your own looks.
- Learn to recognize your own beauty, and let the good aspects of your looks and style make you feel more confident.^{[1]
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5
Find a gay community that embraces your beauty. There is no one way to be a beautiful and attractive gay man. Some gay men find skinny, hairless men beautiful. Other gay men prefer hairy, large men. In other words, if you want to feel beautiful you don't necessarily need to change yourself. Instead, you can surround yourself with people who like you as you are!
- It is undeniable that it feels good when someone else thinks you are beautiful. If you are around people that fill you with self doubt and self hatred, those people are toxic. Find other people that can see the beauty that already exists in you.

Method 2

Method 2 of 6:

Developing Good Hygiene

1
Wash your face. Your face is the first thing people see when they meet you. Caring for your skin is important to prevent acne, dry skin, or oily skin, and to look and feel your best.
- Wash your face with either cold or lukewarm water. Avoid using warm/hot water when you wash up.^{[2]
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- Use a gentle exfoliator once or twice a week. Don't exfoliate too often, or you could irritate your skin.^{[3]
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- Pat your face dry with a clean, gentle cloth. Don't rub your face dry, or you could upset the skin.^{[4]
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2
Care for your teeth. Brushing and flossing should be a part of your daily routine, at least twice each day. Proper dental care will help prevent bad breath and keep your teeth bright and healthy.
- Use an 18 inch-long piece of dental floss to get between your teeth, starting with the top row and working your way to the bottom. Form a C-shape around each tooth to ensure you get all sides (including the backs of teeth).^{[5]
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- Use an antiseptic mouthwash to help kill bacteria in your mouth. Swish with mouthwash for roughly 30 to 60 seconds, then spit.
- Apply a pea-sized glob of fluoride toothpaste onto your toothbrush and work it across your teeth in a circular motion. Brush the front, back, and chewing surface of each tooth, then gently work your brush along the gum line to remove plaque and food residue.^{[6]
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3
Shower daily. Most Americans shower on a daily basis, though many shower every other day or even less frequently, depending on water availability. Whenever you shower, it's important to take care of yourself for a cleaner, more confident body.^{[7]
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- Try to keep to a lukewarm temperature. Temperature extremes can dry out your skin.
- Lather the shampoo of your choice and rub it into your scalp. You should also wash your beard (if you have facial hair) with shampoo to keep it clean and odor-free.
- Rinse out all the shampoo from your hair.
- If using conditioner, apply it similarly to your scalp and wash it all out.
- Use soap or body wash to clean everything from your neck down. Lather, apply, and rinse thoroughly.
- Wash your genital area and posterior, moving from front to back.
- Make sure you've rinsed away any residual soap before exiting the shower/bath.
4
Smell nice. At the very least, you should be wearing deodorant on a daily basis.^{[8]
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Research source} However, the finer points of men's fragrance comes down to personal preference. If deodorant is enough for you, then choose a deodorant that you like and you're all set. If you're interested in a personal fragrance (like cologne or body spray), find one that works for you and try it out in small doses.^{[9]
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- Deodorant should be worn everyday, no matter where you'll be.
- If using cologne or body spray, remember that less is more.

Method 3

Method 3 of 6:

Grooming Yourself

1
Keep your nails trimmed. It's important to keep your fingernails and toenails trimmed and even. Fingernails can easily chip, causing snags and scratches, and toenails look unsightly if they're overgrown.^{[10]
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- Keep your nails clean. Use a nail pick to get any buildup out from under your fingernails and toenails.
- Use nail clippers or a good pair of manicure scissors to trim your nails. Trim straight across, then round off the tips so they're not sharp or pointy.^{[11]
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- Use an emery board if needed to help reduce sharp or jagged edges.
2
Manage your facial hair. Facial hair is another extremely personal choice. There's no right or wrong answer on whether you should go for a smooth shave or a scruffy beard, so go with whatever makes you comfortable and confident.
- If shaving, use a lubricating shave gel and a sharp razor (ideally single-blade). Shave in the direction of hair growth, and don't pull your surrounding skin taut to avoid damaging your skin.^{[12]
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- If you wear a beard, it's important to keep it trimmed. Use an electric beard trimmer to tame your facial hair, setting the guard to a length that works for your hair and style.^{[13]
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3
Trim your ear, nose, and neck hair. Whether you shave your face smooth, or keep some facial hair, you'll want to clean up the often-overlooked areas. That includes trimming back the hairs in your nostrils, in and on your ears, and off the back of your neck (below your hairline).
- You should also trim your eyebrows from time to time, so they don't get bushy and overgrown.^{[14]
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- Use grooming scissors for the nose and ear hair, and a low-guard trimmer or straight razor for the hair on the back of your neck.
4
Decide whether to keep chest hair. Some men like a hairy chest. Others, however, may prefer a smooth chest, or at least a trimmed and well-groomed chest. This is ultimately your own choice (perhaps with feedback from your partner), but if you decide to trim your chest hair it's important to do it right.^{[15]
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- If you decide to thin out or trim your chest hair, use an electric clipper and move in the direction your hair grows.
- If you want a clean chest, you can either use a clipper with the guard off, or use a razor and moisturizing shaving lotion.
5
Find a hairstyle you love. If you are feeling like you're stuck in a rut, a slightly new look might be just the thing to snap you out of it. Getting a good haircut and styling your hair the way you like it can make you feel beautiful and confident, no matter what occasion you're preparing for.

Method 4

Method 4 of 6:

Caring for Your Skin

1
Moisturize your skin daily. In addition to washing your face and body, moisturizing your skin should be a part of your daily regimen. Use toner on your face to remove any excess oil or dirt, and follow up with a gentle moisturizer. You should also use a moisturizing lotion on your hands and any other parts of your body that are prone to dry, itchy skin.^{[16]
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- Choose a moisturizer that works best for your skin type: dry, regular, or oily.
- Make moisturizing a part of your daily routine at least once or twice each day.
2
Treat circles under your eyes. The circles under your eyes can make you look tired, old, and worn out. The good news is you can treat those dark circles for healthier, younger-looking skin.^{[17]
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- Place cool, moist tea bags over your eyelids. This can help reduce darkness and puffiness in your skin.
- Use a specialized cream for dark under-eye circles. Look for a cream that contains caffeine, which reduces puffiness, as well as retinol and vitamins C and E.
- If all else fails, you can always use a tiny bit of concealer under your eyes. Choose a color that matches your skin tone to effectively cover up dark circles for a brighter, younger-looking complexion.
3
Protect yourself from the sun. The sun can cause tremendous damage to your skin, leaving you burnt and tender. After many years of overexposure to the sun, your skin can prematurely develop wrinkles, age spots, and an increased risk of skin cancer. One of the best ways to care for your skin over the long-term is to prevent unnecessary exposure to the sun's harmful U.V. rays.^{[18]
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Mayo Clinic
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- Use broad-spectrum sunscreen. Make sure it has an SPF of 15 or higher, and reapply it at least every two hours.
- Try to avoid being in direct sunlight between 10:00 AM and 2:00 PM, when U.V. rays are the strongest.
- Wear tightly-woven clothing that protects against ultraviolet rays. Opt for long sleeves and pants, and try to wear a wide-brimmed hat when you'll be spending a lot of time outdoors.
4
Avoid smoking. Smoking is a significant contributor to prematurely aged skin. In addition to the health risks associated with smoking, daily exposure to cigarette smoke can decrease blood flow, leaving your skin more wrinkled and less elastic. It can also cause premature creases around your mouth and eyes.^{[19]
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Mayo Clinic
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- The best way to prevent smoke-induced skin damage is to avoid smoking altogether.
- If you're currently a smoker, talk to your doctor about how to break your smoking habit.

Method 5

Method 5 of 6:

Putting Together a Wardrobe

1
Avoid following current fashion trends. Fashion trends come and go, and what's popular this season may be out of favor within a month or two. Keeping on top of the latest fashion trends can be very expensive and could deprive you of a more permanent wardrobe. Instead of worrying about what's hot at the moment, choose classics that never go out of style.
- If you like button-downs or polo shirts wear them, as they are always fashionable.
- Ignore trendy takes on classics, like ripped jeans or fringe jackets. Those lose favor very quickly, and tend to cost a lot of money.
2
Opt for fitted pant styles. A fitted pant leg will look much more dressy, confident, and attractive than a baggy pant leg. Whether you're choosing a pair of khakis for work or jeans for a night out, go for a more fitted style to get a more appealing look.
3
Fill your closet with basic dress clothes. No matter what occasion you're dressing for, having some basic dress clothes will help you look stylish and feel confident. You don't need to break the bank, either. Look for sales and discontinued items, or simply add one piece of clothing at a time to your wardrobe. Your wardrobe should include:^{[20]
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- One solid suit, either black or dark charcoal - opt for a single-breasted jacket with either two or three buttons for a classic look
- Dress pants - choose either khaki or dark charcoal to easily coordinate with other parts of your wardrobe
- A tie - go for medium-width in a solid color
- Dress shoes - try to match your shoes with your belt and your suit color (black or brown are both popular choices)

Method 6

Method 6 of 6:

Finding Other Ways to Feel Attractive

1
Exercise regularly. Having a daily workout routine will help you feel and look your best. A good workout should combine a rigorous cardio set with regular weight training for optimal results.^{[21]
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- Aim to do a cardio workout four days a week for at least 30 minutes.
- Incorporate a 20 minute weight-training session twice a week.
2
Develop good posture. You may not think much about it on a day-to-day basis, but the way you stand or sit conveys a lot about your confidence and self-esteem. Over time, poor posture can also lead to back and neck problems.
- Take regular stretch breaks at work or at home. Try to stand up, stretch, and open up your chest for a few minutes every half hour or so. You should also try to walk around and move your body a little as often as possible.
- Sit up straight for better back health and posture. Keep your back and neck straight with your shoulders slightly dropped whenever you're sitting at a desk or in a chair.
3
Change up your style. Some men go their whole lives without ever changing their style. If you know what you like, there's nothing wrong with that. However, changing up your style could help get you out of a rut and feel more confident and attractive.
- If you've never grown a beard, try growing one. Many men find that wearing a beard lends a sense of confidence and makes men look more attractive.
- Try the opposite. If you've had a beard for many years, shave off your facial hair and see what your bare face looks like after all this time. You might find that you feel more attractive and younger with a simple shave.
- Pick up one or two articles of clothing that go against your usual style. Try wearing these when you need a confidence booster.

Community Q&A

Question

If a boy I like seems really friendly with his male friend, is he gay?

Community Answer

No, it doesn't mean he is gay. You can't know if he is gay unless he tells you he is.
Question

People online tell me I'm ugly, but I don't think I am. What do I do?

Croc_ YT

Community Answer

Don't listen to what people say online, they might just be cyberbullies saying things to try to get a reaction.
Question

If I shave and moisturize daily, does that make me a homosexual?

BlueLegoPiece :D

Community Answer

No. Having good personal hygiene does not define your sexuality.

Warnings

Never criticize another person's appearance. It's rude, hurtful, and could lead to arguments or altercations.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 64 Not Helpful 6
Don't let vanity become the object of your life. It's important to feel good and look good, but remember that beauty is not everything.

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