How to Attract an Alpha Male

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and Amy Bobinger

Last Updated: October 27, 2022 References

Alpha males are usually used to being at the center of a situation. These are the guys who always seem to be in control and put-together. Luckily, if you're confident, supportive, and well-groomed, soon you'll be the one getting all of their attention.

Things You Should Know

Present yourself well by dressing your best, wearing some perfume or cologne, and smiling.
Alpha males view themselves as heroes and protectors, so mention a problem (like a conflict at work, or trouble with homework) and he may become super interested in you.
Be extremely complimentary and express how much you respect him; alpha males love attention and affection, and he’ll love spending time with you if he thinks you admire him.
Alpha males can be a bit possessive and arrogant sometimes, so stand up for yourself if he ever crosses a line—he’ll respect you for it!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Presenting Yourself Well

1
Practice good posture to show confidence. By practicing the physical act of appearing confident, you will actually start to feel more confident. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, hold your chin up, relax your shoulders, and breathe deeply. This will naturally make you seem more attractive to anyone who's around you.^{[1]
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- The more you practice good posture, the more natural it will feel.
2
Speak slowly and clearly to show self-assurance. Speaking slowly gives other people the impression that you're confident and knowledgeable. You will also seem more authoritative if you slightly lower your vocal range as you speak.^{[2]
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- When you're telling a story, think about each sentence and how it relates to what you're saying.
- Don't be afraid to leave a pause between sentences while you're speaking. It seems more confident than using filler words like "um" or "like."
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3
Use your hands when you talk. People who are more physically engaged while they're speaking seem more confident than those who do not.^{[3]
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- Gesture with your hands to emphasize strong points.
- Think about how to use your body to convey a message. For instance, you could lean forward and rest your hand on your chin when you're interested in what someone else is saying.
4
Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. No matter what you look like, you'll be the most attractive when you're happy with how you look. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable.
- If you wear makeup, play up the features that you like the most.
5
Keep your makeup subtle if you wear any. Alpha males are attracted to confidence, and wearing too much makeup can make you seem insecure. Keep your makeup natural-looking on most of your face. If you do go bold, emphasize one feature of your face at a time.^{[4]
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- For instance, if you wear a bold red lip, opt for a subtle smoky eye and subtle eyeliner.
- If you go for a dramatic winged liner and dark eyeshadow, try pairing it with a nude lip and a little blush.
6
Spray on a little perfume, cologne, or body spray before you leave the house. Smelling good can make you seem more attractive. A little goes a long way, though. Spritz a little of the fragrance on your wrists, then touch your wrists to your neck to transfer the scent.^{[5]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Making Him Fall for You

1
Give him time to make the first move. Alpha males are defined primarily by their dominant characteristics. If he’s really an alpha, he’ll want to feel like he’s in control of the chase. If you catch his eye at a party or in a club, smile at him to let him know you’re interested, but let him be the one to come to you.
- If he asks for your phone number, don't ask him for his. That way he'll have to be the one to call or text first.
- If the two of you are hanging out and having a good time, let him ask you out for a second date.
- Every situation is different, so if you think he's interested but he doesn't ask you out, go ahead and ask him out instead.
2
Be confident but not cocky. If you want to attract a top-tier mate, you need to know your worth. By valuing yourself, you’ll show him that he should value you too.^{[6]
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- Show him that you're confident by accepting compliments without deflecting them and talking about your accomplishments.
- Just as you know your strengths, you should also be humble about your weaknesses. You don’t have to tell him what they are, but don’t act like you’re too good for him.
3
Flatter his ego by complimenting him.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} Make him feel like he’s number one by telling him all the things you like about him. Building up his ego will make him want to have you around.^{[8]
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- Try saying something like, “I love how you’re always working to better yourself,” or “It’s so much fun to watch you work the room at a party.”
4
Make him feel needed. Appeal to his inner provider by making him feel like you need him. Ask him to help you with small things that you have a hard time with or don’t enjoy doing, like opening a jar that’s stuck or calling to make reservations at a restaurant.
- There’s no need to pretend you’re weak to attract your alpha male. You can be strong and confident while still needing him. Think of things that play to his strengths, then ask for his help.^{[9]
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5
Help him come up with fun date ideas. Alpha males like to make decisions, but that doesn't mean they'll always want to be the one with a plan. Let him know a few things you'd like to do, then sit back and enjoy as he makes it happen.
- For instance, if there's a movie you really want to see, let him know you'd be interested in going to the movies for a date.
- Spontaneous dates can keep things fresh. If the weather's nice, ask him if he'd like to eat lunch in a nearby park.
6
Try new things together. Most alpha males enjoy regularly trying something they've never done before, just to keep life interesting and challenging.
- Take a day trip to a nearby museum neither of you have ever visited, try out a new restaurant, or hike to a hidden waterfall just outside of town.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Keeping Him Interested

1
Focus on your own goals. Keep your alpha man interested by having your own interests and goals outside of him. You’ll both have more to talk about at the end of the day if you’re busy pursuing your own career or hobbies.^{[10]
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- If anyone tries to keep you from pursuing your own interests, remove yourself from the situation and find someone who will appreciate your independence.
2
Encourage him to be independent. Most alpha males need time every so often to hang out with their friends or to pursue their hobbies. Show him that you appreciate who he is by encouraging him to do these things.
- If he loves to fish, ask him if he'd like to take the weekend to go on a fishing trip while you visit your family.
- If you know his friends have a poker night on Thursdays, consider taking a class on Thursday nights. That way, he can still enjoy his time with his friends, and you won't be sitting at home waiting for him.
3
Be supportive.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} An alpha male can run the risk of feeling like he’s alone at the top of the pack. Let him know it’s you and him against the world by offering a supportive shoulder whenever he’s feeling stressed.^{[12]
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- If you know he’s had a long day, call and order his favorite take-out and make some time for just the two of you.
- Try saying something like, “I know you had a big meeting today. How did it go?”
4
Challenge him when he needs it. A lot of alpha males are used to strutting through life without ever being challenged. If you feel like he’s wrong, let him know. He might be surprised at first but he’ll respect you more in the long run.
- Try not to challenge him in front of other people. No one likes to feel embarrassed, especially alpha males. Wait until the two of you are alone to talk about something you didn’t like.
- You might say something like, “I know you were annoyed that the food took a long time to come out, but I didn’t like that you were rude to our waiter.”
5
Ask him for a commitment. When you're ready to take your relationship to the next level, don't assume that he will automatically know. Specifically tell him that you like him and you're interested in being exclusive with each other.
- If he agrees to a committed relationship, set aside some time to celebrate!
- If he seems reluctant to commit to you, say something like, "I'm sorry you made that decision. I hope you find what you're looking for," then move on with your life. You deserve someone who will give you their undivided attention.

Communicating with an Alpha Male

Complimenting an Alpha Male

Conversation with an Alpha Male

Ways to Text an Alpha Male

Expert Q&A
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Question

What can I do to get an alpha male's attention?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

You can try giving him a compliment to let him know that you're interested.