How to Attract a Man's Attention

Last Updated: June 26, 2022 References

If you are attracted to a man and would like to get his attention, your approach will depend on whether you have established contact with him, or if you are getting his attention across the room. If you are already talking with him, or plan on talking to him, it is important to be yourself and show off your best qualities (without coming across as conceited), while catching his attention from across the room will most likely focus more on your appearance and body language.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Attracting His Attention from Across the Room

1
Double check that you don't have anything in your teeth. Flashing a smile riddled with parsley may not be the best way to attract a man's attention, so be sure to check that you have no chunks of things in your teeth before you start flashing a man your pearly whites. Once you are done with your lunch, chew a gum to remove the obvious stains on your teeth.
2
Make eye contact. When you spot the man whose attention you would like to attract, begin making subtle eye contact with him.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} However, do not stare—unless you are really good at pulling off a seductive stare, you may come across as creepy rather than flirtatious. Instead:^{[2]
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- Let your eyes linger on your man. Wait until he catches you looking at him, hold eye contact for a second, and then look away. If you are feeling extra adventurous, you could even flash him a smile while holding eye contact (if you can flash a one-second smile).^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cristina Morara
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
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3
Use your eyebrows to send a message. Once you have made eye contact a couple of times, the next time you lock eyes, move your eyebrows up for a half a second, before dropping them quickly and looking away. This will send the message that you have noticed him noticing you.^{[4]
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- Doing this may cause him to think that he may have met you before. This may prompt him to come over and say hello.
4
Smile at him. After you have made eye contact with your man on several occasions, feel free to give him a smile.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} Smiling makes you seem approachable and open, which is how you want to appear if you want him to come over and talk to you.^{[6]
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Trustworthy Source
Association for Psychological Science
Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences
Go to source}
5
Cross and uncross your legs when you are sitting down. If you have a killer pair of legs, don't be afraid to show them off. Instead, draw a man's attention by changing your seated position every couple of minutes. This movement may help to catch his eye.
- Crossing and uncrossing your legs can be seen as a flirtatious action. However, don't make this movement too much, or you may look like you're anxious or something is wrong.
- It's also important to make sure your legs are crossed toward the guy in question. Be slow and purposeful in your movements, and use the narrowed space as an excuse to lean your legs closer to his.^{[7]
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- Conversely, don't keep your legs tightly crossed and tucked directly underneath your body the whole time. That's often seen as a sign of disinterest. If you don't think you cross your legs comfortably in his direction, it would be better to keep them uncrossed than to cross them away from him.^{[8]
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6
Hang out with one or two close friends. Some men find it easier to approach a woman if she is in a small group of friends. Take advantage of this and grab yourself some wing-women then hit the town with these ladies. When your guy approaches you, your wing-women will know to talk to you, then take off.
- Wing-women are your friends that know you are trying to attract a guy's attention and they will do anything in their power to make you look fantastic.
- If you are in a large group of friends, try to pair off with a smaller group of friends every so often to give your man a chance to approach you confidently.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Keeping His Attention While Talking with Him

1
Be yourself. When he comes over to talk to you, or you approach him, be confident in yourself. Don't try to pretend to be someone else; you are already amazing enough as it is. If you start out the conversation pretending to be someone else, but realize you want to see this guy again, it will be much harder to set the record straight later on, so just be yourself from the start.
- Honesty is a great policy, particularly if you are planning on seeing this man again. If he asks you to introduce yourself, be straightforward but NEVER try to brag too much about yourself even though it may mean being "confident" in any kind of manner.
2
Show off your intelligence. Don't be afraid to get a little witty. Intelligence is attractive to most men. Part of being yourself is not making yourself look stupid just to get a man's attention. Be confident in your intellect.
- Discuss things you are interested in or know a lot about to show that you are not afraid to be smart.
- Keep in mind that some guys may not be interested in intelligent women.^{[9]
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  Research source} That said, there are plenty who are, and a man's degree of interest can also vary depending on his intentions. Most men looking for long-term romance value intelligence in a woman more than men who are looking for a casual fling.^{[10]
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3
Don't be afraid to laugh. Whether you make him laugh, or he makes you laugh, feel free to crack a smile and give in to the giggles. Laughing can be charming, and having a sense of humor will definitely catch, and keep a man's attention.^{[11]
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- Don't force yourself to laugh at the guy's jokes just to make him feel good. However, don't be rude if you don't think he's funny—consider changing the topic instead.
- If the guy you are talking to doesn't seem to like to laugh, or seems turned off by your ability to laugh easily, he may not be the guy you want to catch the attention of.
4
Talk about things you are passionate about. Passion is a very attractive quality to all men. Talking about things that you are interested in can show off some great parts about yourself: your intellect, your thoughts, and your loves.
- However, do not dwell on a topic where you do all the talking for too long. If you continue to talk about your horseback riding career for 45 minutes, you may begin to lose his interest, or potentially sound conceited.
5
Pay attention to what he is saying. While discussing your passions and interests is very important, listening to what your man is saying is equally as important. Showing that you are interested and actually engaging in conversation with him will make him want to keep his attention on you.^{[12]
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- Look him in the eyes when he is telling a story, and laugh at his jokes (if you think they are funny). Ask questions that show you are paying attention to what he is saying.
6
Establish physical contact. While talking with your man, break the 'touch barrier' by placing your hand on his arm when you laugh, or brushing your knee against his if you are seated. Breaking this invisible barrier by establishing physical contact may help to keep his attention solely on you.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} Other ways to break the touch barrier include. But please, don't make it too obvious till he notices that you are doing it on purpose:^{[14]
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- Brushing his hand with your own when you pass him something.
- Brushing his arm with yours when you are walking side by side.
7
Use your hands to tell a story. When you fidget or hold your hands in front of you, you can give off the vibe that you are using your hands and arms as a barrier. To eliminate this perceived barrier, set aside whatever you're holding, be it a drink, purse, or cell phone, and use your hands to animate a story you're telling.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Getting Yourself Ready to Attract His Attention

1
Develop your self-confidence. Before you try to attract any man, be it across the room or directly in front of you, it is important that you be confident in yourself. Loving yourself and knowing how amazing you are is one of the most attractive things you can do. When you love yourself, it is more likely that others will follow suit. To practice yourself confidence:^{[15]
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- Focus on your positive traits. These should include both physical traits and parts of your personality that you love. Focusing on the positive, rather than on the negative, can help you to feel more comfortable in your own skin.
- Remind yourself of how awesome you are. Consider your accomplishments and the amazing things that you have done in your lifetime.
- Consider how you can improve the things that you don't like as much about yourself. If you don't like the color of your hair, consider dyeing it. If you don't like that you become easily stressed, practice relaxation techniques. However, always bear in mind that you should be making these improvements for yourself—not to attract someone else.
2
Dress to impress. Once you feel confident about yourself both inside and out, you can then begin to focus on attracting a man's attention. Begin with your outfit. You should wear something that you feel comfortable in, but that also makes you feel beautiful, or even sexy. However, don't try to catch a guy's eye by wearing a dress with a neckline that reaches down to your belly button; instead, wear an outfit that compliments your personality and—most importantly—makes you feel fabulous.^{[16]
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- Show of your neck and shoulders if possible. Many men consider a woman's neck and shoulders to be very alluring and attractive parts of her body. Instead of wearing a dress that hardly covers your breasts try wearing a halter top dress and a loose updo to give your man a peek at your neck.
- Don't forget to pick out some great shoes. Again, wearing a pair of shoes that you feel comfortable in (meaning you can walk in them) is key—if you are tottering around on sky-high heels, you may come across as looking like you've had one too many drinks.
3
Keep your hair and makeup in order. Once you have selected a jaw-dropping outfit, it's time to do your makeup and hair. There is no need to pile on the makeup, but if you feel like you look great with a bunch of eyeliner and mascara making your eyes pop, then go for it! Again, do what will make you feel the most confident and sexy—when you feel confident, you will certainly catch men's attentions.^{[17]
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- Choosing a hairstyle can be tricky. It is important to keep your face shape in mind, as well as the texture of your hair. To learn more about choosing a hairstyle, click here.
4
Smell fantastic. When you smell good, a man will notice. When you smell bad, a man will also notice. Because of this, make sure to rub on some deodorant and give yourself a spritz of your favorite perfume. Using perfume can actually enhance your natural pheromones, making you more attractive to the opposite sex. Some scents that are considered to work well when catching a man's attention are:^{[18]
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PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
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- Rose.
- Sandalwood.
- Jasmine.
5
Wear an eye-catching necklace. Wearing a necklace that will draw his attention to your neck can help to hook a man's attention. Many men consider a woman's neck to be a feminine and captivating part of her body, so show off your elegant neckline by wearing a necklace that flatters your looks.

Expert Q&A

Question

What can I do to attract him if he's a little older than I am?

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.

Cristina Morara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Accentuate your mature side more than you normally do. Experience brings maturity, not age! Be genuine, comfortable, and engaging. Curiosity is a lot more important for a lot of older men, so asking a lot of questions and taking an active interest in what he's into will go a long way.
Question

As a woman, is it okay if I ask him out first?

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.

Cristina Morara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Definitely! Don't worry about breaking any traditions here; the old "rules" about the guy asking the girl out first is so outdated at this point. Some women will thin that men will be turned off if the woman makes the first move, but most guys will actually be impressed!
Question

What should I do if I want to become more than just friends with someone?

Community Answer

Many romantic partners start out as friends. Ask your friend out for a date. This shows your self-confidence and as well as your romantic interest. The worst he can say is "no." If he does that, do not force him or pressure him into dating, or you might lose him as a friend completely.