How to Ask a Girl to Homecoming

Co-authored by Lisa Shield

Last Updated: September 29, 2022 Approved

Asking somebody out can be very nerve-racking, but it can also be extremely gratifying if you get the answer you want. Read this article to learn how to score a date to homecoming with the girl of your dreams!

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Preparing Yourself

1
Remember that even if a girl says no, the gesture will be appreciated. Part of what makes people so nervous about asking somebody out is the possibility of rejection, or the idea that she will somehow be upset or annoyed that you asked her. But keep in mind that being asked out is flattering, no matter what the circumstances, and that you will probably be making her day just by asking her.
2
Determine whether she already has a date. This will save you a lot of time and trouble, and allow you time to make other arrangements, if necessary.
- If you don't know whether or not she already has a date, try asking one of her friends, or bring up the topic of homecoming with her so that you can inquire about her plans.
- Don't try to convince her to ditch her date if she has one. It will be unfair to the other person, and reflect poorly on you. Remember: just because you aren't going to homecoming together, doesn't mean you won't have a chance with her in the future!
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3
Keep your options open. Think of other girls (if any) that you'd like to ask out so that you're not left hanging in the event that your first choice says no. Having backups will also help ease some of the nervousness you may be feeling.
4
Decide how you'd like to ask her. You can ask her straight up either in person, over the phone, or over the computer. If you're feeling more creative, come up with a less straight-forward romantic gesture like leaving a note or flowers on her car or in her locker.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Doing the Asking

1
Consider asking her in person. If you want to keep things old fashioned and simple, then ask her in person. Here are a few tips to get you started:
- Choose the right time to ask her. Don't ask her out in the middle of class or if she appears to be in a rush. You should also avoid asking her in front of other people. If she is standing with a group of friends, ask her if you can pull her away for a moment to talk to her.
- Initiate a friendly conversation with her first, and then casually bring up the topic of homecoming. Be sure to properly greet her and ask her how her day is going before you do the asking.
- Consider working a compliment into your question. For example, say something like "I think you're really awesome and fun, and I was wondering if you'd like to come to homecoming with me."
- Remember to smile and look her in the eyes. This will hold her attention and show her that you are genuinely interested in her.
- Be prepared, but don't follow a script. While you will probably work out a general idea in your head of what you want to say, avoid memorizing what you want to say word for word. Let the conversation flow naturally.
- Act confident, even if you are trembling inside. Confidence is key, and can make or break her decision. Be sure not to act overly pompous, though, as this is a turn-off for most girls.
2
Ask via phone or computer. In this day and age, asking somebody out via text, Facebook, or email is not always acceptable, though is understood and used by many. This route is especially useful if you are very shy, nervous, or unsure about her feelings toward you. Plus, if she for any reason says no, you will have time to compose yourself before facing her in person.
- Be sure to properly greet her and strike up a casual conversation before you pop the question. Try an open-ended greeting like: "Hey, how's it going?" "Hey, how's your day been?" or "Hey, what are you up to?" Questions like these give her a chance to tell you what she's been up to lately, and what her plans are for the next few days/weeks. If homecoming is just around the corner, chances are that the conversation will inevitably lead to a discussion of what her plans are.
- Try to work a compliment into your question. This will make her feel special, and undoubtedly put a smile on her face. Try something like: "I think you're really fun/smart/beautiful/interesting, and I was wondering if you'd like to go to homecoming with me."
- Consider a more indirect approach. Instead of asking her straight-out, first ask her what her plans are for homecoming. This way, if she already has a date or is going to be out of town, you can determine her answer without having to ask her. If she says she's not sure or doesn't have a date, use that opportunity to ask her.
3
Think of a romantic gesture. Chocolate covered strawberries and a picnic are the best options. This route gives you the best of both worlds: it is both anonymous (meaning you won't be face-to-face) and romantic. Only choose this route if you already know the girl relatively well and think she might be interested in you. Otherwise, it will come across as overwhelming. Think of something that you think she'd appreciate, based on what you already know about her. Consider the following ideas:
- Leave a note in her locker or on the window-shield of her car.(Make sure that it is secure and noticeable.)
- Send her flowers with a note attached asking if she'd like to go out with you. Try to find out what her favorite flower is for an extra touch.
- Write her a cute/funny song. She'll be so charmed that she'll have to say yes!
- Paint the question on a cupcake, t-shirt, white board, or other item. Use your imagination! You don't have to write the whole question out; a simple "Homecoming?" will do.
- Girls keep giving hints about what they like. Listen to her carefully and do those things for her.^{[1]
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- They love surprises.^{[2]
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- You can give her a thoughtful gift and surprise her.^{[3]
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Community Q&A

Question

What does it mean if the girl I ask to homecoming says maybe?

Community Answer

It could mean she doesn't want to go with you but she also doesn't want to hurt your feelings, she might be waiting to see if someone else is going to ask her, or she may just want some time to think it over before making a decision.
Question

If I ask someone out and they say no, would it make me desperate to ask someone else?

Community Answer

No, not at all. It's not desperate to want a date to a dance, so if one girl says no, just brush yourself off and move on to the next potential option!
Question

Should ask my date to homecoming to be my girlfriend?

Community Answer

If you really like her, sure! If you're a little on the fence about it, maybe wait until after the dance so you can get to know each other better and decide if it's a good fit.