How to Arouse Girls

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: October 26, 2022 Approved

Arousing women isn't rocket science, but it can be an art. To arouse women, you have to strike the perfect balance between being aggressive and coy in order to set the right mood—great foreplay and the right moves are a necessity, as well. Keep in mind: in addition to knowing how to touch a woman's body and understanding what she wants, you also need to understand when she wants it if you wish to truly arouse a girl and make the experience great for both of you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Setting the Mood

1
Create a sexy atmosphere. If you create a sexy atmosphere, your girl will be turned on before your first kiss. You should make sure that the lighting, smell, and sounds in your crib are set for romance. Here's how to do it:^{[1]
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- Have soft and sexy lighting. When you walk into your apartment, the lights should already be turned down low—just enough for your lady to see you, but not so brightly that she feels self-conscious. Light a few candles. If you don't have any candles, just have a few lights on that make the room dim.
- Have a sexy-smelling apartment. If you know you'll be having a lady over on a particular night, open your windows during the day and let in some fresh air. Some manly potpourri can help your apartment stay fresh too. When your lady arrives, casually light some incense, or make sure those candles are scented. You can also use a nice scented air freshener.
- Play sexy music. Your lady will be more turned on if you turn on the right music. Jazz can make her feel sophisticated, and R&B can put her in a sexy mood. Whatever you choose, make sure you're casual about putting it on, and play it softly.
2
Have sexy reinforcements. Your home should be prepared for sexiness in advance, so the mood can stay hot and you can avoid interruptions. Here are a few key items to always have in stock:
- Something to drink. Be prepared with red and white wine and any other beverages that your lady may like. Chances are that you've come back from drinking at a sexy dinner date, and to keep things going, you should always have something extra to sip on just in case.
- Something to eat. If you need more time to warm up to get to the bedroom, sharing a sexy snack can help set the mood. Be prepared with sexy foods like grapes, strawberries, cheese and crackers, or chocolate. Avoid eating anything greasy or fried that can give you gas, which will definitely not be a turn on.
- Something to clean up with. If you plan on doing the deed, have a clean towel and fresh soap for your girl, so you don't turn her off by giving her a wet, moldy towel.
3
Have a sexy home. Work as hard as you can to have a home that will turn the ladies on immediately. Your home should be presentable so your girl wants to venture into the bedroom. Here's how:^{[2]
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- Be clean. This is the most important part of setting the mood. Hide your dirty laundry, clean all surfaces in your home, and absolutely make sure you don't have a grimy bathroom. Your girl should be as comfortable as possible before she can be ready for action.
- Be fashionable. Your home doesn't have to be worth a million dollars to turn a lady on. Have classy wooden or leather furniture, a few nice paintings, and a good stereo system to show your girl that you care about your surroundings. Avoid lots of photos of you and your ex-girlfriends.
- Have a sexy bed. Clean your sheets and covers, have nice, fluffy pillows, and a clean night table. This is the time to put your pictures of you and your mom as far away as possible. Your girl should feel comfortable snuggling up in your covers to be ready for your body.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Having Incredible Foreplay

1
Make her feel comfortable. Once you've set the right mood, you should begin to turn your girl on by making her feel at home. If she's relaxed, she's more likely to hook up. Here's how to do it:^{[3]
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- Hang up her coat and have her take off her shoes. She'll feel more at ease once she does.
- Offer her a drink. Don't force her to drink, but pour her a glass of wine if she wants one. If she's drinking, you should drink too so she doesn't feel self-conscious.
- Compliment her. Make your woman feel good by letting her know how much you like her. Tell her how great she looks, what an amazing time you're having, or how much you love the way she laughs.^{[4]
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  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.}
2
Touch her in sexy ways. When your lady is relaxed, she'll want you to come closer to her. Don't be shy! Get next to her and begin touching her in subtle ways to initiate foreplay. Here's how to do it:^{[5]
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- Sit next to her and let your legs touch. Put your arm around her. If she's really into it, start playing with her hair.^{[6]
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  Expert Source
  
  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.}
- If she's wearing dangly earrings, gently hold one in your hand and say how much you like it while your fingers brush against her earlobes.
- Let your hands graze, and even hold her hand and caress her fingers if she wants you to.
- Give her a sexy massage. Massage her shoulders, her lower back, or even her biceps. This will surely turn her on and help her let loose.
3
Kiss with passion. Kissing is the first big move you'll make, and you have to get it right if you want to take your night to the next level. To be the perfect kisser, you need to find an irresistible kissing style. Here's how to do it:
- Be gentle. Kiss her gently at first, without using too much tongue. Lightly graze your lips, and slowly touch the tip of your tongue to hers. If she's receptive, move your tongue deeper into her mouth, but take it slowly.^{[7]
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  Expert Source
  
  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.}
- Leave her wanting more. Take breaks from kissing to lock eyes, brush back her hair, or to start kissing her gently on the nape of her neck or her shoulders. Don't just kiss without stopping for hours on end. She'll either get bored or will just be exhausted.
- Be more aggressive with your touches. While you're kissing her, move your hands down her body to gently touch her waist, her breasts, or her inner thighs. Make sure she's comfortable with your new moves.
4
Start taking off your clothes. Once your kissing is getting hot and heavy, it's time to start removing your clothes so you can get it on. To set the tone for hot sex, you have to take your clothes off in the right way. Here's how:
- Take your girl's shirt off first. Gently put your hands under her shirt and slip it off over her head. If it's a button-down shirt, slowly unbutton it and throw it aside.
- Next, take off your own shirt. Do not take off all of your clothes first. This may freak a girl out and will make her think you're being too aggressive. Take your time.
- Once your shirts are off, continue kissing, but take off the girl's bra after a while. Note if the clasp is in the front or the back, and try to be smooth about taking it off. Don't be awkward and make jokes about how you haven't done this in a while, or how impossible it is to take off her bra. This will just turn her off and will make you look inexperienced.
- Gently touch the girl over her underwear. This will make her want you to take off her skirt or pants. If she's wearing pants, slowly pull them down. If it's a skirt, slide it down over her legs.
- Take off your pants, or wait for her to take them off if she's comfortable with it. Now that you're both down to your underwear, if you're both willing, it's time to start preparing for sex.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Having the Right Moves in the Bedroom

1
Be clear about having sex. Though you may want to jump to conclusions once you're both in your underwear, it's important to make it clear that you'll be having sex so things aren't awkward and there are no misunderstandings. Here's how to move past that hurdle:
- Say, "Are you ready?" or "Do you want to?" Make it clear that you want to take it to the next level.
- If she agrees, be prepared with a condom. Be smooth about putting it on, and try to be as efficient as possible so you don't kill the mood.
2
Turn your girl on as much as you can before sex. Men are often ready for sex before women, and even if you've had some great foreplay, you need to spend more time on your girl's body before you start getting it on. Here's what to do:^{[8]
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- Caress and kiss her body—all over. Kiss her neck, her shoulders, her breasts, her belly, and the insides of her thighs.
- Tell her how much you like her. Whisper a few lines about how sexy her body is, or how much you love a certain part of her.
- Touch her genitals gently. You can tease her a little bit by touching her and then moving your hand somewhere else for a little while—this will leave her wanting more. Once she's ready for intercourse, you should go for it.
3
Find your sexual style. There are dozens of ways to have great sex, and once you start, you need to feel out your woman to see what she's comfortable with and what she's into. Here's how to get a feel for your sexual style with your new partner:
- Try different positions. Start by being on top and see if she likes being on top or even having sex in a more adventurous way. Don't try anything too crazy at first—get a good rhythm going before you get creative.
- See if she likes to be gentle or aggressive. Try some light biting or some intense touches to see if she reciprocates. Some women like to be fun and aggressive but are waiting for you to make the move. But if she likes to be gentle, then take your time, and hold her lightly.
- Try dirty talk. Dirty talk is not for everyone, but if your lady is into it, it can go a long way in turning her on. Tell her what you're doing to her, what you'd like to do to her, and compliment her body. If she doesn't reciprocate, tone it down.
4
Finish strong. Both partners should feel satisfied after your time together, and before you finish, you should make sure your lady has a good time. Here are some ways to finish strong in the bedroom:^{[9]
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- Remember that many women don't orgasm from sex, so if she doesn't orgasm, touch her until she does.
- After you finish, don't immediately run out of the room or hop in the shower. Take some time to stay in bed and caress your lady and tell her how great it was.
- Don't be disappointed. If your lady didn't reach her climax, or if you orgasm prematurely, don't be discouraged. This happens more often than you think, and handling it with calm will show her that you're confident in who you are.
5
Leave her wanting more. Once you've wrapped things up in the bedroom, there are a few things to do so your girl wants to sleep with you again, whether it's later that night, or later that week. Here's how to end things on a good note:^{[10]
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- Offer to shower together to clean off. If she's game, kiss her gently while you're showering.
- Don't be reserved after you have sex. You should give your lady some space, but show that you're the same funny, amazing guy she was making out with hours ago.
- Tell her you had a great time and want to do it again soon. When she leaves, walk her out like a true gentleman. Put your coat on her, drive her home or call her a cab, and kiss her at the door.
- Play it cool. Don't say, "When can we hook up again?" Instead, just tell her you had a great time and that you'll call her soon.
- Make her think about hooking up with you. Once she's away, the occasional sexy text will remind her of the hot time she had in the bedroom. If you're smooth about these gentle reminders, she'll be wanting more faster than you can restock on your incense and candles.

Warnings

Don't ever pressure a woman into having sex with you. Let her make the decision. She should never regret going to bed with you.

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Use condoms to prevent STDs. You should always wear a condom if you're sleeping with someone for the first time. Don't convince a woman that sex will be better without one—this is just plain dangerous and can leave you with a disease.

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Don't force a woman to do something she doesn't want to do. When she says no, she means it.

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