Am I Emotionally Detached?
Emotional detachment—also called emotional unavailability—is an unwillingness to connect with other people on an emotional level. When you’re emotionally detached, you can separate yourself from other people’s emotions (and, at times, your own) effortlessly.
Emotional detachment can be a personality trait or the result of trauma earlier in your life. While some people purposefully detach from their emotions, others do it unconsciously. That’s why we’ve put together this comprehensive quiz to help you figure out whether you might be emotionally detached.
Questions Overview
- Nope. Sometimes I feel like I open up a little too much.
- Not really. I only open up to people I’m comfortable with, though.
- Sometimes. I try to open up, but it can take time (and patience).
- Yes. I don’t open up to people easily and feel like it causes problems.
- I vent to a close friend about everything and have a good cry.
- I hang out with my friends and tell them I need some cheering up.
- I hang out with my friends and tell them I need some cheering up.
- I spend some time decompressing alone.
- Not at all. I crave closeness with friends and partners more than anything.
- Not really. Connections take time to develop, but I can keep them going.
- I think so. Maintaining connections is hard for me, but I'm working on it.
- Yes. My relationships often fizzle out; getting close to people unnerves me.
- I’m the first person to give them sympathy and reassurance.
- Sometimes I let other people take the lead, but I want to be supportive.
- I’m unsure of what to do and a little uncomfortable.
- I do nothing and disengage until they’re calm. Someone else can help them.
- They devastate me, and everyone around me knows it.
- They’re really upsetting, but I try not to let them overwhelm me.
- I don’t like them, but I usually don’t have trouble moving on.
- They don’t really affect me. I put them behind me with ease.
- Nope. Actually, people tell me I have a really expressive face.
- Once or twice, but it’s usually because I don’t know them well yet.
- Yes, a few people. I’m not as expressive as many people I know.
- Yes, many people. They often say they don’t know anyone as stoic or emotionless as me.
- I listen intently, and I often react emotionally to what I hear.
- I try to be a good listener, even when I'm not emotionally involved.
- I listen to them sometimes, but intense emotion makes me uncomfortable.
- I usually tune people out, especially when they get dramatic or emotional.
- Overjoyed! I immediately say thanks and give a compliment in return.
- I’m flattered. In most cases, I’ll smile and say thanks.
- Unsure. My instinct is to deny the compliment, but that doesn't feel right.
- Uncomfortable. I don’t know what they expect me to say in return.
- Definitely! What if I needed help? Plus, a little sympathy never hurts.
- Yes, I’ll tell them if it relates to whatever we’re talking about.
- I might tell them and ask for help if I have no other choice.
- No. It’s my problem, so I’ll deal with it on my own.
- I answer the question in a lot of detail. I’ve been waiting for someone to ask.
- I try to answer the question honestly. The fact that they asked shows they care.
- I give a brief response unless they seem seriously concerned for me.
- I avoid answering the question fully by saying, 'I’m fine' or 'I don’t know.'
- Absolutely! I dream of true love and adore anything related to romance.
- Kind of. I definitely like romance, but it isn't my only priority.
- Not really. I’m not naturally drawn to romance, but maybe that’ll change one day.
- Not at all. Even watching a romantic comedy makes me cringe a little.
- Never. I’m pretty in tune with my emotions, and I don’t hold them back.
- Occasionally, but I can usually figure it out after some reflection.
- Sometimes. I’m not really tuned into my feelings, but I recognize the basics.
- Yes. I rarely consider my feelings; I just ignore them and do what I have to.
More Quizzes
Emotional Detachment, In-Depth
Signs of Emotional Detachment
There are many symptoms of emotional detachment, and while noticing a single sign doesn’t necessarily mean you’re emotionally detached, several of the following warning signs might warrant a deeper investigation. Signs of emotional unavailability include:
- Feeling empty or incapable of feeling emotions
- Feeling bored or uninterested in activities that normally bring you joy
- Avoiding social interactions and ignoring people when they speak
- Losing interest and becoming less invested in relationships
- Having little or no empathy for others
- Being harsh or rude to other people
- Keeping people at arm’s length and pulling away when they try to get close
- Being extremely private and sharing little to no information about yourself
Overcoming Emotional Detachment
Roleplay conversations ahead of time. Before diving headfirst into a situation where you may be tempted to emotionally detach, try to play out that scenario with someone you trust. By practicing ahead of time, you can learn how to give thoughtful responses beyond your knee-jerk reactions and interact with people in a healthier way. As you get more comfortable navigating complicated situations, staying emotionally engaged won’t be such an uncomfortable prospect anymore.
Practice being vulnerable. Work on opening up and expressing yourself to people you trust over time. It can be hard to acknowledge all of the complicated feelings that you normally repress and detach from, but if you start small and progressively open up to a single person, you can get yourself comfortable with vulnerability.
Remember that this will take time! Don’t get frustrated and give up after a couple of attempts at vulnerability. What you’re doing isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely worth the effort—and, in time, you’ll be more emotionally available to yourself and everyone around you.
Build up your close relationships. Having a strong support system can make it so much easier to get comfortable with vulnerability and overcome emotional detachment. The more you roleplay and practice your vulnerability with a few trusted individuals, the more you'll naturally build healthier and closer relationships with them.
Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability to stay present in the moment and acknowledge your emotions as they arise. This will take plenty of practice, but as you become more mindful of what you’re feeling, you can also gain a better understanding of the triggers that make you detach from situations emotionally and, in time, work through them.
Keep a journal of your thoughts. Journaling allows you to vent your thoughts and emotions safely on paper, ensuring that you don’t detach even if you aren’t ready to talk to someone else about them. Try to reread old entries in your journal as well; this can help you practice mindfulness and pick up on patterns in your emotional detachment.
Meditate regularly. Doing mindful meditation is relaxing and stress-reducing! It can help you stay calm in situations where you might normally get uncomfortable and help you stay in a more positive mindset as you work to overcome emotional detachment.
Seek professional treatment through therapy. Professional treatment is usually the most effective way to deal with mental and emotional issues. Cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on identifying and changing harmful thoughts and behaviors, which can really help you overcome emotional detachment. Plus, if your emotional detachment affects a specific relationship, a couple or family therapist can help you address that issue.
If you feel like you may have emotional detachment, talk to your healthcare provider or a mental health professional about it. They can help you figure out where to go from there and put together a treatment plan for you.
Want to learn more?
For more information about emotional detachment and its symptoms, check out the following resources.
Medical Disclaimer
Any medically related content, whether User Content or otherwise found on the Service, is not intended to be medical advice or instructions for medical diagnosis or treatment, and no physician-patient or psychotherapist-patient relationship is, or is intended to be, created.
