Am I Aromantic?

Aromanticism (along with asexuality and agender) is represented by the “A” in the LGBTQIA+ acronym. As an aromantic, you’re a valid and loved member of this community—and we’re here to break down exactly what that means.

Aromanticism vs. Asexuality

• Aromanticism involves a lack of romantic attraction, while asexuality involves a lack of sexual attraction. Aro individuals can still find people sexually attractive, and asexual (“ace”) people can find people romantically attractive. Both identities exist on a spectrum—there isn’t a right or wrong way to be aromantic or asexual.
• Aromanticism and asexuality aren’t one and the same. Only a quarter of aro people also identify as ace. While you definitely can be both, you don’t have to be!
• Aromanticism is labeled as an “asexual spectrum” (or “a-spec”) identity. Although distinctly different from asexuality, aromanticism falls under the a-spec umbrella. “Agender,” or the lack of a specific gender identity, also qualifies as an a-spec identity.

The ABCs of Aromanticism

• Aromantic - Someone who experiences no romantic attraction towards other people.
• Alloromantic - Someone who experiences romantic attraction towards other people.
• Greyromantic - Someone who falls between being aromantic and alloromantic. They might experience romantic attraction occasionally or only under certain conditions.
• Demiromantic - Someone who only feels romantic attraction after developing a substantial emotional connection with another person.
• Aroflux - Someone who seesaws between being aromantic and alloromantic. Some aroflux people tend to stick within the aromantic spectrum, while other people drift in the opposite direction.
• Recipromantic - Someone who only feels romantic attraction when their feelings are reciprocated.
• Akoiromantic - Someone who feels romantic attraction but doesn’t need to have their feelings returned.
• Cupioromantic - Someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction towards others, but would like to be in a romantic partnership.
• Quoiromantic - Someone who doesn’t like using “platonic” or “romantic” labels to describe their feelings and experiences.

Relationship Tips for Aro Individuals

• Set boundaries and be clear about what you want. Let potential partners know what you’re comfortable and uncomfortable with. This will allow you both to understand and know what to expect from a relationship, so you both stay on the same page.
• Try a queer-platonic relationship (QPR). A QPR tends to be more intimate than a regular friendship without the standards and expectations of a traditional relationship—best of all, they’re extremely inclusive and are viable options for people of all gender identities and romantic/sexual preferences. The boundaries of the relationship are up to you and your partner; for instance, some QPRs add sex to their relationship, while others don’t.
• Societal expectations can be set aside in order for you to feel like you can be your full self. From TV shows and movies to books and music, society has created a romantic standard for relationships that is hard to ignore. Stay strong! At the end of the day, what matters is being true to yourself and doing what feels right to you, and finding people to support you within the Aro community and outside of it.